Posted on 02/04/2015 2:35:02 PM PST by Responsibility2nd
If you're reading this, congrats! You're definitely alive, and you're probably not being stopped or shot to death by a police officer at this very moment. This is half the battle. Now the hard part: If you're alive, there's a chance you'll get stopped by a police officer before you die, and if you're stopped, there's a chance you will get shot to death. Here are some steps you can take to avoid getting stopped, and failing that, avoid getting shot to death.
They say this works! The best way to not get shot to death by a police officer during a stop is to not get stopped at all, and a proven way to avoid getting stopped both on the road and on foot is to not be black. While you're at it, don't be brown, either.*
It goes without saying, but you should not do bad things, because police officers exist in part to stop and shoot to death people who do. (This is even more important if you insist on being black or brown.) If at all possible, don't kill people. Don't hurt people, and don't hurt their feelings. Don't sell drugs—any drugs. Don't take things that should be exchanged for money without first doing so. Don't carry weapons, even if it is legal to carry weapons where you currently are. Don't be intoxicated in public. Don't speed. Don't drive too slowly. Don't drive without functioning sets of headlights and taillights. Don't allow your parking meter to expire. Don't jaywalk. More broadly, don't take shortcuts. Don't assemble in large groups. Don't exhibit your underwear. If you can help it, don't disturb other citizens, even if your presence is what is disturbing them. Don't publicly display affection for members of a different race and/or the same sex. Don't play with toys in parks. Don't play with toys in stores. Don't lock yourself out of your house, but if you do, don't call the police. Don't call the police.
Running is good. Running comes with a multitude of health and social benefits. You generally get places faster than if you walk, and sometimes thanif you drive. If you run enough, you'll be stronger, and have more energy and stamina. You'll be physically more attractive to people you are trying to physically attract. Who knows? You may even live longer.
The thing is, for all its benefits, you need space to run to reap them, and so many people are forced to or else choose to run outside. This is a mistake, particularly if you choose to ignore the first rule of this handy guide.
Free hack: Since starting college, I've kept a pretty strict policy of only running indoors on a treadmill, or while engaged in a group activity like soccer or basketball. If you must run, do so in groups, in athletic gear, and preferably with people who follow the first rule of this guide. (Dress pants work, too, if accompanied by a matching blazer and/or shirt and tie.) If you're late, you're late, but at least no one will think you're running from something. Remember: Bullets move fast, but hypertension is a slow burn.
Bonus hacks:
It may seem counterintuitive to look someone in the eye who has both the means to shoot you to death and the latitude to do so without fear of legal or even professional repercussion. But when coming into close contact with a police officer, it's best to acknowledge them with a look, and even a head nod. This is an early, nonverbal sign that you are perhaps One Of The Good Ones Whose Soul Is Yet Untainted By Genetics Or Cultural Residue Or Hip Hop And Therefore Should Maybe Not Be Stopped.
This eye contact, however, should be brief. Like many large predators, a police officer may view overlong eye contact as a defiant or fearful act. With a quick look, you're just signaling that you aren't afraid, because you have nothing to hide. And while you're looking and nodding, smile! Not getting stopped by a police officer is fun!
Can't hurt, right?
Now for the bad news. Even if you follow some or all of the steps to not being stopped by a police officer, a police officer still might stop you. A police officer might ask you where you are coming from, or where you are going, or what business has led you to this particular place at this particular time of day or night. At this point, being stopped by a police officer may be humiliating, or enraging, or worse, boring, and you may consider the police officer undeserving of your kindness or even respect. Regardless, though, this police officer has stopped you but has not yet shot you to death, and the objective now is to dissuade the police officer from doing so.
Say "sir" or "ma'am" or "officer" or "officers." Only speak when spoken to, and don't raise your voice. Basically, talk to a police officer as you would a friend's senile grandparent, if there was a chance said grandparent would shoot you to death. If you can muster some friendliness, be friendly. But more importantly, be submissive. Be short and sweet so that, maybe, you can get out of there.
I know you're thinking about moving your hands. You're really gonna want to not do that. Don't gesticulate as you speak to the police officer. Don't reach for your wallet or your phone, or the registration in the glovebox. Don't reach into your pockets. Don't reach into your waistband for your gun; you probably don't even have one, silly!
Instead, keep your hands in a fixed place. Hold them straight down at your sides and palms out, or up by your ears and palms out, or on the steering wheel (at 10 and 2) and palms out. Don't fidget. The only time you should move your hands is when the police officer will tell you to move your hands to fetch something. Repeat their order slowly, while informing them how you are going to complete it. For example:
"Driver's license, please."
"Of course, officer. I'm going to reach into my back pocket right now to grab my driver's license. Is that alright?"
Be sure to move slowly and smoothly. If possible, complete the order using one hand (but don't show off too much).
If you have to, say, reach into your glovebox with both hands, inform the police officer you are reaching into your glovebox with both hands. If you have to reach into your backpack, seriously consider offering to hand your backpack to the officer instead, or if applicable, any members of your party who chose to follow rule no. 1.
There is the possibility that you follow some or all of the above rules, and the police officer still finds the motivation to physically engage or detain you. This will be terrifying. You will want to fight back, or run away. Do not do this. Police officers are highly trained fighters who often wear body armor and possess multiple weapons on their persons. More likely than not, these are all advantages that you don't have. The police officer, however, will assume that you are a highly trained fighter with body armor and multiple weapons on your person, and will treat you as such. If you try to bulk up, you may be shot to death. If you try to fight back, you may be shot to death. If you try to run away, you may be shot to death.
After all this, you may still end up handcuffed in the back seat of a squad car, en route to jail. Don't panic or be too distraught. You're still alive! But remember: Be sure not to shoot yourself to death.
*If you abide by this rule, you can stop reading now.
**Not an exhaustive list.
How To Not Get Shot By The Police
Townhall.com ^ | Dember 2, 2014 | John Hawkins
Posted on Tuesday, December 02, 2014 7:05:57 AM by Kaslin
Police Officer: 'if you don’t want to get shot...just do what I tell you.'
Reason.com ^ | 08/19/2014 | J.D. Tuccille
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2014 1:37:57 PM by Rusty0604
Another thing to remember if your don’t want to get shot by the police...
Don’t assault them in their own car and say “What the f— are you going to do about it?”
Another thing to remember if you don’t want to get shot by the police...
Don’t grab the officers gun and say “you are too much of a p—- to shoot me.”
Another thing to remember if you don’t want to get shot by the police...
If you DO get shot, fall down. Don’t run off - change your mind - and come running back again to get shot a second, third, fourth, fifth and even 6th time.
LOL.
Great summary.
stay in your car with your hands on the wheel.
When the cop was done, he told me that he wished more people did that, at night, just adds to his sense of calm. I live in a very low crime area of SoCal, but I figure anything that calms the LEO, is good for me, as well. Thanks.
Maybe Mr. Howard can write another equally great article for black Americans....
How To Not Get Shot To Death By A BLACK MAN.
How Not To Get Shot To Death By A Black Man:
1. Don’t be one.
2. Get a job.
3. Don’t do drugs.
4. Marry.
5. Leave the ‘Hood.
6. Be an example of a good hard working father to your children.
7. Don’t pick fights.
8. Walk away.
9. Call the cops.
10. Convince other men to do # 2 - 9 above.
Hey ....it’s Deadspin’s token black guy to write on all things black in an effort to help their hipster, white readers deal with their guilt.
Thank You.
If blacks - AND WHITES TOO - would only practice common sense and put into play these tried and true successful points, we all would be better off.
Look, I’m not defending the trigger happy cops here. I know there are way too many donut munchers ready to shoot or flash bang anything that moves. But they are a byproduct of our uncivil society.
Based on the ghetto trash antics that happen 24/7, I’m actually surprised at the RESTRAINT most cops show and JUST HOW FEW people (black and white) are actually shot by the police.
My cousin was a patrolman, and told me there were innumerable people who would keep their wallets in the glove box, or on the floor, because they got tired of sitting on it on a long drive. Big mistake, from his point of view, to be reaching under the seat or into the glove box as he was approaching the car.
He never shot anyone, but was properly nervous having lost a buddy killed on duty. The driver reaches under the seat, his gun is drawn.
” I know there are way too many donut munchers—————”
.
Stereotype much ?
.
Cops shoot very few people, in actuality.
My concern about policing is how it is targeted. I see it focused on raising money for the welfare state from law abiding folks attempting to legally go about their day. Crooks always get off. That’s my experience and observation.
The extreme interactions are rare, and I’m willing to look at each individually. Most are good shoots, some are bad.
We had a bad shoot in Tacoma and the cop got off scot free. Makes me sick. Sometimes I think I should go hire a lawyer and crusade after the bad shooting cop. But then I’d have to move states, probably. So the cop gets off with not so much as a slap on the wrist. Cripes.
I don’t recall where I read this but it’s pretty easy to know why so many black thugs have problems with police, and, get shot. It’s because whites do illegal things behind closed doors. Blacks are out on sidewalks at all hours drinking and making a ruckus.
I was detained by several officers one night at a local night club. I pretty much did the things they suggest in this article such as telling the officers that my id was in my right rear pocket and asking if it was ok to reach for it. I moved slowly and always kept my hands where they could be seen.
The issue was resolved when I showed proper ID. I learned they were BOLO for an escaped murderer who I resembled. They were very nice and even put out an alert to all other officers that they should be aware that I was in the area and matched the description.
I am white and I’m not stupid.
I understand. I keep my hands off other people’s property. I do not fight with the police. I obey the law and if a police officer tells me to do something, I do it. Doing that has kept me in good stead for 75 years.
“How To Not Get Shot To Death By A Police Officer...”
If you don’t want to get shot by a rogue police officer or a federal government fascist goon, get off your butt and elect a pro-2nd amendment, Constitutional sheriff in your county. This sheriff has the legal and armed muscle to make your community safe for normal citizens.
Just the facts...
I re-read it, and its a good article. Humorous in a gallow-humor sort of way.
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