‘Free range cannibalism’? Hearty mockery as blizzard-fearing NYC hipsters storm Whole Foods

Twitchy ^ | January 26, 2015

[Squawk 8888]

"911, what's your emergency?"

"IT'S SNOWING AND WE'RE OUT OF KALE!"

[MaxMax]

One of my customers mentioned the Blizzard today, and I abruptly said, Good,
let them eat their Global Warming, before realizing she was a diehard lefty. OOPS!
All is well, but I got my dig in. Me and my big mouth, one of these days.

[RegulatorCountry]

CNN is praying that a plane goes missing in the snow.

If it was piloted by a cute blonde teenage girl we'd still be hearing breathless hourly reports a year from now.

[Patriot Babe]

OMG MY RIBS!!! I am laughing out so loud that my neighbor can hear me LOL. These are people I would not want survival tips from ROFL

[ConservaTexan]

KALEMAGEDDON!!!!

[Flick Lives]

Lol!

[Jack Hydrazine]

Ain’t global warming cool and hip?

Warm globally, cool locally! LOL!

[Jack Hydrazine]

Are they all gonna die before they make it to the checkout counter?

[Mears]

One of my daughters shops at Whole Foods——but she also finds room for Marshmallow Fluff and Drake’s Funny Bones.

.

[Jack Hydrazine]

Now for a message from our sponsor of Winter Storm (and blizzard) Juno...Scientific American!!!!!

2014 Officially Hottest Year on Record
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/2014-officially-hottest-year-on-record/

Is it hot enough for you in that blizzard of yours?

[Steve_Seattle]

"Freepers mistaking New York for San Francisco. You can’t even find arugula or carrot juice in midtown Manhattan much less the Bronx and Queens."

I drink carrot juice (usually mixed in with V8) and my girlfriend likes kale and arugula - does that make us Marxists?

[Jack Hydrazine]

“Conservatives being the self reliant types will come out of the blizzard intact. Liberals on the otherhand being reliant on others for their wants and needs will turn into the Donner Party redeux if there’s cosmic justice.”

Just need to turn back to a little story with a great moral to it authored by a guy named Aesop.

http://www.umass.edu/aesop/content.php?i=1&n=0

The Ant and the Grasshopper

In a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart’s content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest.

“Why not come and chat with me,” said the Grasshopper, “instead of toiling and moiling in that way?”

“I am helping to lay up food for the winter,” said the Ant, “and recommend you to do the same.”

“Why bother about winter?” said the Grasshopper; we have got plenty of food at present.” But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil.

When the winter came the Grasshopper found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing, every day, corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer.

Then the Grasshopper knew...

Moral of the story? It is best to prepare for the days of necessity.

[miss marmelstein]

My point was that New Yorkers are not particularly interested in arugula and carrot juice. Good Chinese is more like it.

[EinNYC]

That’s good, ‘cos Mayor DeDumDum dun killed the poor thing on Groundhog Day by dropping it on its head.

[Jack Hydrazine]

"I drink carrot juice (usually mixed in with V8) and my girlfriend likes kale and arugula - does that make us Marxists?"

Only if you lean left at a 45 degree angle when you walk!

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

I bought GREAT VALUE tissue at WALMART! The purple package Single Ply tissue! It never runs out! The rolls seem to regenerate themselves. I hate the purple package as my finger always poke through no matter how many plys I make of it! Should have bought the RED package two ply.

[miss marmelstein]

What blizzard? It’s 10pm, basically, and its barely raining much less snowing.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

The customer is probably somewhere outside frozen to the ground with all those salty tears shed over having hurt feelings.

Don’t you feel ashamed? PEOPLE! BE ASHAMED! ;-D

[MaxMax]

This has happened to me before. I had a Customer start talking about College
and I said if my kid was going to college I was not wasting my money on a dead end
no future major like Liberal Arts. Later that day after she left her Husband came to me
with a huge smile on his face, almost laughing, and said "Um, do you know what my
wife does for a living"? I didn't think about our conversation and just said, No.

He laughed very loud and said, She's a Professor at "" College and she teaches Liberal arts.

I about had a heart attack. He said don't worry, I'm in your camp and we get alone just fine.
She called me back for more business and we laughed about it every time. What a life.

[CopperTop]

"..I hate the purple package as my finger always poke through no matter how many plys I make of it!"

TMI!! TMI!!

Actually, that's why I always preferred paper towels for my outdoor adventures. Way more versatile and less chance of the dreaded punch thru. d;^)

[sarasmom]

My favorite version is an old Bobbie Gentry song:
(Lyrics are not exact here)

Get up lazy Willie, theres work to be done
Out of seventeen kids, you're the laziest one
Pigs in the kitchen and the roosters in the pig stye
Weeds in the garden busy growin up knee high
Lazy Willie, look at you, ain't you a sight
Lazy Willie, sleep all day and play all night

Get up lazy Willie, up and outta that bed
There's cows to be milked and mule's to be fed
Thin the corn, harvest the soybeans
And help me set the table for our company from New Orleans
Lazy Willie, wake up, you ain't heard a word I said
Lazy Willie, you gotta get up in time to go to bed
Don't you remember lazy Willie, what momma would say
That all summer long the grasshopper would play
The ant would work hard stowing up his winter supply
And when the snow came the ant lived, the grasshopper died
Lazy Willie, well ants work hard and grasshoppers play
Oh Lazy Willie, you're gonna sprout green legs and hop away
Gonna ha-hop away