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When guys find out I’m a virgin [author is a 26 year old female Christian]
Salon ^ | October 5, 2014 | Ellen Burkhardt

Posted on 10/13/2014 3:06:55 PM PDT by grundle

There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. First date? Too much, too soon. Wait until the third date and you risk being considered a tease. Second date? Perhaps, but at this point you’re both still fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread; delving into sexual histories (or lack thereof) seems a bit extreme. So: There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. Even worse? Telling him you’re waiting until marriage.

(Excerpt) Read more at salon.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: abstinence; cat; cats; chastity; culturewar; darwin; ellenburkhardt; frigidity; hookupculture; hyperliteralism; kittycats; moralabsolutes; morekittycats; puritanism; salon; salonstockdeathwatch; virgin; virginity
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To: southern rock

“Having a baby doesn’t mean anything, but a woman still playing hard to get in her 40’s is narcissistic and delusional to the extreme. What does she think it’s made of? Gold?”

I’m smiling sadly as I read your post.

Believing that sex is sacred and should only be enjoyed within the sacrament of marriage is ‘playing hard to get’?

No, dear. She doesn’t think that she’s made of gold or that she’s ‘all that’. She’s a humble Woman.

But she refuses to bend her morality.

Men like you make it a sad thing to be a woman.

A very sad thing.


141 posted on 10/13/2014 5:51:44 PM PDT by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: DoughtyOne

The part I am commenting on is the extremism with which you present it.

As if it is worthy of condemnation.

What did Paul say about marriage and being married?

The Bible says a lot of things and none contradict each other and all work together.


142 posted on 10/13/2014 5:54:43 PM PDT by ifinnegan
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To: ifinnegan; GeronL

No, I wasn’t advocating for someone to have out of wedlock sex.

I was thinking that God gifted us with the miracle of the universe, allowing man and the vast creatures of creation the ability to produce new life.


143 posted on 10/13/2014 5:55:15 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
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To: GeronL

>I just thought our people had become a bit more civilized<

.
More diversified, yes.

More civilized, no.

More turd world, yes.


144 posted on 10/13/2014 5:57:59 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: southern rock

can’t agree more....

God looks at the condition of your heart, not a nose ring, tattoo or the way you dress....

The late Pastor Chuck Smith reached literally thousands of hippies and druggies in the late sixties by reaching out to them thought his ministry now called Calvary Chapels, people who traditional churches shunned because of their outward appearance... Today there are thousands of CC worldwide doing some of the most productive evangelical work today...


145 posted on 10/13/2014 5:59:54 PM PDT by Popman (Jesus Christ Alone: My Cornerstone...)
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To: ifinnegan
It is extreme to consider that God could be displeased that a person went their whole life without experiencing one of the most amazing gifts to mankind?

Okay, if you say so.

Let me ask you this. If man is supposed to minister to his wife like Christ does to the church, don't you think it would be wrong for man to withhold himself from his church?

Don't you think it would be wrong for the church to cut itself off from Christ?

Explain to me what value a church has without Christ.

Reference

146 posted on 10/13/2014 6:04:48 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
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To: ifinnegan

Baptist.


147 posted on 10/13/2014 6:08:57 PM PDT by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: DoughtyOne
There is one thing worse than not being a virgin when you get married. Dying one. If people think God approves of that, I’ve got news for them.

So you imply that is it worse to be a virgin at death than to commit fornication.

Wow! How unlike our pure savior, higher than the heavens, who hated sin so intensely - fornication included - that he was willing to sacrifice himself in order to destroy the power of sin.

By his life and example, the apostle Paul apparently didn't agree with you. I think I regard Paul's judgment more than I respect yours.

Hebrews 7 21 (For those priests were made without an oath; but this with an oath by him that said unto him, The Lord sware and will not repent, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec:) 22 By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better testament. 23 And they truly were many priests, because they were not suffered to continue by reason of death: 24 But this man, because he continueth ever, hath an unchangeable priesthood. 25 Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. 26 For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens; 27 Who needeth not daily, as those high priests, to offer up sacrifice, first for his own sins, and then for the people’s: for this he did once, when he offered up himself. 28 For the law maketh men high priests which have infirmity; but the word of the oath, which was since the law, maketh the Son, who is consecrated for evermore. 1 ¶ Now of the things which we have spoken this is the sum: We have such an high priest, who is set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens; 2 A minister of the sanctuary, and of the true tabernacle, which the Lord pitched, and not man.

148 posted on 10/13/2014 6:09:22 PM PDT by mbj
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To: Marie

Thanks.

Feel free not to answer, because you may not know. But how do these guys justify it? Or do they just ignore the contradiction?


149 posted on 10/13/2014 6:22:15 PM PDT by ifinnegan
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To: GeronL

keyboard spew alert


150 posted on 10/13/2014 6:23:27 PM PDT by SteveH (First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.)
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To: Squantos

I think she is a lesbian. I really do.


151 posted on 10/13/2014 6:23:37 PM PDT by napscoordinator (I guarantee every FRiend Misses the lost opportunity of a President Santorum!)
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To: ifinnegan

I don’t know.

I do know that the pressure builds up, then the man explodes in frustration, then the relationship is over. Once there was a blatant ‘put out or we’re done’ ultimatum. Twice, there was a engagement (with the diamond ring) and the man thought that the commitment to commit should be enough. (I do believe that this was the case in the first situation.)

The fact is that religious men are still MEN. Other than a bit more patience, I don’t see any difference between religious or secular men when it comes to premarital sex.

Worse, religious men seem to value purity in a woman... until it comes to *them*.


152 posted on 10/13/2014 6:27:59 PM PDT by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: mbj
Thanks for the post.  I have given consideration to sex outside of marriage, and I'm not a big fan of it.  It does happen.  If it happens with the person the second party has made a committment with and later marries, I'm not convinced God views the person to be worthy of enternal damnation for the commission.

If we're talking about men or women who look for pleasure only and no committment, then I think we call can agree this is wrong, and carries a lot more negative weight with it.

Yes Jesus did refrain from sex.  I believe he did so for a number of reasons.

Out of wedlock sex was wrong.
Out of wedlock sex not intending to marry would be worse.
Bringing children into this world as his children, him being the Son of God, would have put a tremendous burden on them.
Marrying a woman would have put a tremenous burden on her.
Either of these would have caused pain to the wife and the children.
Imagine the early church having to deal with Jesus' wife and children
It would have been nearly impossible for that dynamic to work out well

I believe Jesus knew all this.  I think it impacted his decisions.

Does your average run of the mill Christian have these dynamics to deal with?  No.  For that reason, as it relates to marriage and sexuality, I don't believe Christ is our Model here.  He certainly didn't expect us all to lead celibute lives.  I don't think He expected us to forgo having children, because He did.

.I'm not here to compete with Paul.  I would urge you to respect Paul.

I don't urge you to respect me.

These are my thoughts.  You don't have to agree.

153 posted on 10/13/2014 6:28:26 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
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To: mbj

Sorry about the large text. I meant to reduce that prior to posting. I forgot to.


154 posted on 10/13/2014 6:29:06 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
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To: Marie

Most young women still support the “sexual revolution”, including abortion. They are too uninformed to see how they have been “had”.


155 posted on 10/13/2014 6:32:25 PM PDT by Theodore R. (Liberals keep winning; so the American people must now be all-liberal all the time.)
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To: grundle

First this none of anybody’s business except between her and a guy with whom she has a serious relationship. Why write this article? Second, a descent guy would respect her commitment and any guy who did not is a jerk.


156 posted on 10/13/2014 6:36:06 PM PDT by The Great RJ
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To: MrEdd

It seems to me that this must be personal for you somehow, MrEdd, because your replies to me have been overwrought. I have given you a truthful, Biblically based answer. I’m leaving it at that.


157 posted on 10/13/2014 6:50:02 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: The Great RJ
First this none of anybody’s business except between her and a guy with whom she has a serious relationship. Why write this article?

I thought this too at first. Then I thought, you know, if we want more kids to be less promiscuous, it's good for them to have people they can look to on the matter. It's a form of witnessing.

158 posted on 10/13/2014 7:01:40 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
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To: grundle

Bump for later.


159 posted on 10/13/2014 7:09:38 PM PDT by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: DoughtyOne
I have given consideration to sex outside of marriage, and I'm not a big fan of it. It does happen. If it happens with the person the second party has made a committment with and later marries, I'm not convinced God views the person to be worthy of enternal damnation for the commission.

Not only do I not have to agree with you; God doesn't have to agree with your self-centered opinion, either. And God, not I, is who has already judged and condemned anyone who does this; who condemns this faulty judgment in his word.

Mark 10: 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Matthew 5: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

1 Corinthians 6 9 ¶ Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

"If it happens": As though that's an unavoidable accident that a man just can't be held responsible for.

29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.

160 posted on 10/13/2014 7:10:21 PM PDT by mbj (Matthew 22:29)
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