Posted on 10/03/2014 8:05:03 AM PDT by fishtank
Jurassic Squirrels?
by Brian Thomas, M.S. *
Jurassic mammals made headlines recently, as Chinese paleontologists described in the journal Nature six tiny skeletons comprising three new species.1 The squirrel-like fossils break with the long-held idea that most so-called "dinosaur-era" mammals resembled shrews. These newfound mammals look like they lived in trees—not underground like shrews. Do the new fossils help evolutionists clarify their story for the origin of mammals, or do they crank more twists into evolution's troubled saga?
An American Museum of Natural History press release reads, "The animals, which researchers have placed in a new group, or clade, called Euharamiyida, likely looked similar to small squirrels."2 If they looked like squirrels, maybe they were squirrels. And if these were simply ancient varieties within the squirrel kind that went extinct, then researchers wouldn't need to invent a new group or clade name.
(Excerpt) Read more at icr.org ...
I was hoping that someone would post the saber toothed squirrel from Ice Age. Oh, our son has a bumper sticker that says, “Squirrels, nature’s little speed bumps.” Mr. Mercat and I are convinced that they are aliens and have teleportals in those ridiculous nests that they build. Why would anyone build and live in such a silly nest? They teleport out to the mother ship.
Lmao!
A’la Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, when the end comes the squirrels will probably post a message somewhere saying “So long and thanks for all the nuts”.
Unless they were from California, then they’ll be saying “So long Nuts!”
Imagine the size of the nuts these squirrels gathered.
Why they must weigh tons.
"As ancient alien theorists believe...."
BRAVO!!
The silly looking squirrel nests are built by the bachelor squirrels. They don’t have anyone to look after, so they just throw up a slapdash nest and it’s good enough for them.
The mating male squirrels have to put together a proper nest, probably because the female squirrel nags them until they do it right :)
I was out back picking up apples from under the apple tree. How in the world do those stupid flies find a way to put a worm inside of each and every apple? Humans on an assembly line can only get the engine into a car two out of three times, but those stupid flies find every Apple.
Anyway.
I was picking up apples when a bull squirrel jumped down from a tree and charged me. I knew he was a bull squirrel because he had antlers and nuts. Normally, I’m not too afraid of squirrels. Gophers scare the crap out of me, but squirrels usually don’t. But this was a North American carnivorous Blue Squirrel.
I know the forest rangers tell you to drop and play dead when one charges you, but sometimes, instinct just takes over. I ran screaming like a little girl. I know that because that’s what my wife said I sounded like. She let the four dogs out the back door to save me.
This squirrel had evidently had some martial arts training. He must have been a black belt in Squirrel-Kwon-Do. The girl dog got to him first and he flipped her. The two dog brothers tried to tag-team the squirrel, but the squirrel pulled out some numchucks. He threw the numchucks and the two brothers took off to play with them. That left the little dog. Normally, he’s pretty tricky. He’s locked me out of the house seven or eight times. I thought this would be a good match. The squirrel started waving his arms and chattering and that stupid traitor dog ran back into the house. I think the squirrel promised him some kind of IRA retirement plan.
Well, I hadn’t just been standing there with my mouth open. Actually, I had been for awhile, but then I saw a rake and grabbed it for protection. That bull squirrel just laughed. I took a swing at him with the rake and he jumped on top of the head of the rake. I don’t know about you, but the thought of a squirrel running up a rake handle is very frightening to me. I screamed and dropped the rake.
Mrs. Squirrel came out and must have told the bull squirrel to quit playing around. He flipped me off and grabbed an apple off the ground. Then it came to me. I could hire the squirrels to pick up the apples!
I’m now the CEO of Squirrel Pickers, Inc. my wife calls me The Head Nut. Don’t laugh. Those squirrels are hard workers and they work for peanuts. And with Obamacare, they get the same medical care that I get from the VA. The only problem is that they sleep all winter. I mean the squirrels, not the VA. I think the VA sleeps year round.
Touché!
Loved it. Your writing style is excellent. It is like getting mini short stories. Hope you pop up often on threads. A little witty humor goes a long way these days.
Thanks.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.