Posted on 07/03/2014 6:20:03 AM PDT by Kaslin
As you prepare to celebrate Independence Day, I thought I’d take this opportunity, while it still exists, to mock our progressive friends. You can spot them at your barbecue. They’re the ones who brought the tofu hockey pucks they call veggie-burgers, the 6-pack of micro-brew beer they keep in a small cooler that never leaves their side so no one can grab one – as if anyone would – and smoking American Spirit cigarettes. They also haven’t showered in a while, so the flies are a dead giveaway.
When you come across these tolerant people gleefully judging everyone to be their intellectual inferior, here’s some fun things to throw their way.
1). Bring your barbecue/beer supplies in a Hobby Lobby bag. They will think you’re worse than Hitler, then set about telling you what the president should do, which will boil down to bypassing the “do-nothing Congress.” Mention the literally hundreds of bills passed by the House currently sitting on Harry Reid’s desk gathering dust and watch their face. It will be like watching a puppy trying to figure out what a remote-control car is. They won’t be able to comprehend reality since it’s never represented on MSNBC. Their face will go blank. Their head tilt to the side, and they’ll revert to talking points. When that 25 seconds is up, they’ll call you a racist and a bully and storm away, explaining how they can’t even talk to someone so ignorant.
2). Bring up the Founding Fathers. Nothing gets a progressive more upset than talk of the men who founded our amazing nation. Their view of our Founding Fathers is split into two camps: 1) Those exemplified by a line in the great movie Dazed and Confused, when a teacher says “OK guys, one more thing: This summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.” And 2) Those who claim the Founding Fathers were progressives and loyalists were conservatives.
Both claims express an elementary school-level understanding of history, if that. But we’re dealing with progressives here, so I repeat myself.
Dealing with either claim is fruitless. They’ve made it this far in life repelling reality. Your best efforts, no matter how well reasoned, won’t make a dent in their ignorance armor. But much like a firecracker becomes fun once you light the wick, a progressive is a carnival ride when you bring up the Founding Fathers. Light the fuse, step back a safe distance and enjoy the show. There are few things more fun than inciting progressives to expose themselves in front of smart but otherwise unengaged people. The faces of others will be priceless. Then you will all be called racists and the progressive will storm away.
3). Mention you support the Second Amendment. You could sleep with a progressive’s girlfriend while kicking his dog and pouring sugar in the gas tank of his Prius and he wouldn’t be as upset as he will be when confronted by someone who supports the right to keep and bear arms. When they go off, and they will go off, and mention “assault weapons,” ask them what that means. They won’t understand the question because they’ve never been challenged to explain this, so they’ll probably blurt out something about machine guns or automatic weapons. But what they really mean is guns that look like the ones Bruce Willis or Sylvester Stallone used in a movie once.
From there it’s up to you. The options are limitless. Cajole them into saying how the right to bear arms applies only to guns available at the time so you can counter with how that logic means freedom of speech applies only to the spoken word, quill and printing press, since that’s what was available at the time. Or steer them into a discussion of self-defense, which drives them crazy. Light the fuse, then enjoy the show. At least until they call everyone a racist and storm out of the party.
Those are just three possibilities for fun with progressives this Independence Day, but the possibilities are endless. Don’t have a lighter to start the charcoal? Use gender specific pronouns and watch the sparks fly. Need to put out those smoldering coals? Wait for them to take a drink and say “God bless Ronald Reagan” and the resulting spit-take would extinguish a forest fire. Want to see a human being spontaneously combust? Mention how you don’t believe in manmade global warming, and that the “hottest” month on record has been switched back to July 1936 – AKA “the year of the SUV” – and cover your plate.
If none of that is your cup of meat, but you still want to find an easy and fun way to mess with a progressive and let them know their agenda has failed, simply mention that you love the United States of America. Their tears may become a bit much after the first hour, but it will make the subsequent accusation of racism that much funnier.
Libtards know a lot. Unfortunately, most of what they know is wrong.
Ask them...”If queers are born that way, how is the gene passed on?”
“Does it show up in DNA?”
Agree except the micro-brewed beer part...it’s about all I drink anymore. It’s the real thing, like all beer was before mass production/mass marketing watered it down. No offense to the Bud drinkers, that’s fine for the ball game or cutting the grass.
I will be talking about how great “America” movie was and how it exposes the lies our children and young adults learn about our founding. I also will talk about the award winning Rush Revere books my kids have enjoyed reading!
The sad part is that her fear of Ted Cruz is now even stronger. Because she knows that somewhere deep inside of her mind, 'Truth' exposed a flaw in her emotional make-up. And the only fix for that is to turn up the volume on that emotion in order to drown out that 'truth'.
Some I regret losing as friends, such as the keyboard player who did the Hammond organ parts on Jimi Hendrix’s “Rainy Day, Dream Away.” Mostly I just laugh at the hypocrisy of the liberal mindset, asking us conservative types to be more open-minded while THEIR minds are pretty much welded shut.
“asking us conservative types to be more open-minded while THEIR minds are pretty much welded shut.”
In my younger years of computer dating, I very early on learned that a girl using the term “open minded” unanimously meant “must agree fully with each and every one of my ridiculous opinions and no dissent will be tolerated”
One of these days I think I will write a book full of real definitions to terms people use in computer dating ads.
1. NPD’s FEAR the most - ABANDONMENT (echoes early trauma of false persona #1)
2. NPD’s HATE the most - RIDICULE (when false persona #2 is unmasked)
Every leftist SHOULD BE abandoned, IGNORED, and ridiculed.
Mich - no offense to Bud drinkers either, but no InBev product will ever knowingly pass my lips. A few years ago, they strong-armed their way in to a St. Louis craft beer festival & muscled-out all the competition.
Bud is DEAD to me. (as are all of its brands)...
As for the “racist” accusations, feel free to point out:
“It is RACIST to impose SLAVE wages on LEGAL Immigrants and minorities, by flooding the labor market with ILLEGAL Immigrants.”
Do you suppose that they think that the “world cup” is the same as the “Holy Grail”?
Computer dating? Are you more likely to go out with a Mac or a Windows PC? (chuckling)
Mac and PC were prudes and teases...Now the commodore 64...wowsa wowsa wowsa
I have seen a NPD up close and personal. You are spot on. I would only add that Ridicule is a form of abandonment, that is, rejection. Also, second to ridicule is criticism. The NPD's hate criticism.
I don’t have any liberal friends.
The liberal relatives are never invited.
I value my time, and will not suffer fools, gladly or otherwise.
There won’t be any progressives at our Barbeque. However there will be stars and bars, don’t tread on me and my favorite conservative long necked Bud. :-)
Funny...and spot-on!
Progs only smoke reefer. It comes from Gaia and is pure and natural unlike Evil Big Tobacco.
They hate it, and they reject it - they cannot accept it.
“Criticism” furthermore, FEEDS THEM EGO KIBBLES, as in: You’re serious, and seriously involved in their clownery, taking their insanity seriously...
NO DOUBT the damage they do is serious indeed, but it all arises from how important they must make themselves and others fell about themselves...you’re “feeding in” to that toxic dynamic.
Another reason criticism doesn’t work - it “involves you” in their toxic orbit. You know the saying about arguing with fools...
That’s why ridicule works.
When you think about it,
ridicule is criticism wrapped in irony - as the author of this article so brilliantly (imo) demonstrates - it’s funny!
At least if we should ever have to engage these idiot children monsters we should make it fun for ourselves and anyone watching on, right?
Side note: this is also why leftist humor descends to crudity to try to be funny, and is mostly UNfunny - because it is NOT based on truth -
which is irony’s root.
It is based in sarcasm! The mean-spirited attempts at humor most of us GREW OUT OF by 7th grade...
Sarcasm is thinly-veiled jealousy, contempt, and hate.
We should all learn to be as funny, piercing the leftist’s hollow balloons with such flair as this writer.
(did I break teh internets with the length of this? Yikes!)
“I lost a girlfriend because my Facebook postings on politics were “offending” her grown children.”
I’d say you didn’t lose much. ;-)
Mostly the folks who propound that sort of nonsense aren't looking for a debate, they're looking for sheep-like agreement. Which is why they don't bring it up anymore.
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