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Minister's bizarre tip in battle to tackle climate change (cut back on eating baked beans)
The Daily Mail ^ | April 9, 2014 | Matt Chorley

Posted on 04/09/2014 9:10:04 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

People should eat fewer baked beans to reduce flatulence which can contribute to global warming, a minister suggested today.

Fears were raised about the impact of ‘smelly emissions’ caused by Brits eating more beans than any other country in the world.

Climate change minister Lady Verma said it was an ‘important’ issue and urged the public to ‘moderate our behaviour’.

Concerns have previously been raised about the effect of methane emissions from cows on global warming.

But in the House of Lords today a Labour peer raised questions about the impact of human diet on emmisions.

Viscount Simon, 73, a Labour peer who has been a member of the House of Lords for more than 20 years, voiced his fears about the ‘smelly emissions’.

Lord Simon said: ‘In a programme some months ago on the BBC it was stated that this country has the largest production of baked beans and the largest consumption of baked beans in the world.’

He asked Lady Verma: ‘Could you say whether this affects the calculation of global warming by the Government as a result of the smelly emission resulting therefrom?’

Lady Verma described his question as ‘so different’ but she appeared to suggest that people should think twice about over-indulging in baked beans or any food which causes flatulence.

She added: ‘You do actually raise a very important point, which is we do need to moderate our behaviour.'

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; United Kingdom
KEYWORDS: bakedbeans; climatechange; diet; emissions; farting; globalwarming; globalwarminghoax; nannystate
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Stick a cork in it, Lady Verma. A very large cork.


21 posted on 04/09/2014 9:35:37 PM PDT by TigersEye (Stupid is a Progressive disease.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Benjamin Franklin

to The Royal Academy of Brussels

1781

GENTLEMEN,

I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. “Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee”. I was glad to find by these following Words, “l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE”, that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater Utility.

Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age.

It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.

That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.

That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.

That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of  the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.

Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.

My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.

That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?

For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your “Figure quelconque” and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a

FART-HING.

22 posted on 04/09/2014 9:35:51 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Richard Warman censors free speech.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

LOLOL - thanks for the ping!


23 posted on 04/09/2014 9:38:17 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The number one way to eliminate global warming is for all politicians just to stop breathing thus stopping CO2 from being emitted. Plus the politicians are so full of shit, they discharge more methane gas than all of the cows on Earth.


24 posted on 04/09/2014 9:39:16 PM PDT by Nitehawk0325 (`)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

These brain farts from politicians are much more dangerous that our bean farts.


25 posted on 04/09/2014 9:44:50 PM PDT by DocRock (All they that TAKE the sword shall perish with the sword. Matthew 26:52 Gun grabbers beware.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

Loved your comment, but must correct. She would have said, “Let the peasants toot.” :)


26 posted on 04/09/2014 9:45:57 PM PDT by stilloftyhenight (...staying home isn't an option.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

That is magnificent.

I bow to Ben.

:-)


27 posted on 04/09/2014 9:46:04 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: A_Former_Democrat; John Semmens
Is John Semmens behind this one?

I was wondering the same thing myself.

28 posted on 04/09/2014 9:46:17 PM PDT by Mark17 (Chicago Blackhawks: Stanley Cup champions 2010, 2013. Vietnam Vet 70-71 Msgt US Air Force, retired)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

29 posted on 04/09/2014 9:53:22 PM PDT by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: pax_et_bonum

A man ahead of his time, to be sure.


30 posted on 04/09/2014 9:54:07 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Richard Warman censors free speech.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Issue a big cork to every mexican illegal and tell them if they are caught without it stuffed in their butt they will be deported immediatly!


31 posted on 04/09/2014 9:56:28 PM PDT by dalereed
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To: stilloftyhenight

Of course!

But, DO nobility toot?


32 posted on 04/09/2014 10:11:58 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: Slings and Arrows

A man ahead of his time, to be sure.


And just a little bit smart: didn’t he teach himself French using French novels while sailing to France to be their U.S. Ambassador?


33 posted on 04/09/2014 10:17:40 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Never Forget the Seals of Extortion 17 - and God Bless America)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Choose one; Mother Earth or Taco Bell. Can’t have both; sources have said.


34 posted on 04/09/2014 10:19:15 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Monty Python skit come to life?

Blazing Saddles!

35 posted on 04/09/2014 10:19:18 PM PDT by Hugin
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
"Mongo like beans!"

Seriously, I live in North Dakota.

Let's warm things up a mite, and to do my part I had 3-bean chilli for dinner.

36 posted on 04/09/2014 10:25:41 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: pax_et_bonum

I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.


37 posted on 04/09/2014 10:30:38 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Richard Warman censors free speech.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

England has the largest consumption of baked beans in the world? What about plain old beans? My guess is Mexico, but the moment you say that, I bet you get called “Racist”!


38 posted on 04/09/2014 10:53:46 PM PDT by I still care (I miss my friends, bagels, and the NYC skyline - but not the taxes. I love the South.)
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To: RushIsMyTeddyBear
What about mushy peas?

And we all know what the "squeak" is in Bubbles and Squeek

39 posted on 04/09/2014 11:24:06 PM PDT by llevrok (F the government)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Not bizarre in that the agenda is to cause man made famine.


40 posted on 04/09/2014 11:52:07 PM PDT by lavaroise (A well regulated gun being necessary to the state, the rights of the militia shall not be infringed)
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