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It’s weather, not climate people.

If it’s cold, it’s just weather, and that’s not climate. If it’s warm, then it’s a climatological trend.

So sayeth Algore.

Al's not doing a lot of speaking until this Spring. Gore never was much of a speaker, but this takes "freezing up in public" to a new level.

Global Warming guru Algore – wearing his ever present Nobel medal – is seen here en-route to an important “scientific” conference in Nassau hosted by the UN/IPCC where he was to be the keynote speaker.

Topics on the agenda were to have included “Finding a Good Bail Bondsman,” “Not ALL Criminal Lawyers Are Sharks,” “Changing Careers for Dummies,” “You Want Fries With That?,” “How To Encrypt Emails,” “The Best Prison Jobs,” “Getting Along With Your Cellmate” and “Getting Used to Sleeping On Your Back.”

A sudden – and unfortunate – blast of what the “scientist” in charge of the conference termed “global warming” caused the meeting to be rescheduled until Algore can be thawed some time next Spring – assuming there will BE one.

Our reporter has learned that the influential conservative web site Free Republic has launched a contribution drive to rent a freezer locker in which to keep Gore for the 10 to 15 years estimated it will take for the so-called “mainstream media” to begin covering the Climategate story.

If it’s cold, it’s just weather, and that’s not climate. If it’s warm, then it’s a climatological trend.

That is the beauty of Global Climate Change.™ It is so much more flexible than Global Cooling or Global Warming ever were.

Is it warmer than usual today? That is proof of Global Climate Change.™

Is it colder than usual today? That is proof of Global Climate Change.™

Is it wetter than usual today? That is proof of Global Climate Change.™

Is it dryer than usual today? That is proof of Global Climate Change.™

Is it cloudier, less cloudy, windier, less windy? It doesn't matter! No matter what the weather happens to be, it is proof of Global Climate Change.™

Everything is proof of Global Climate Change.™ Nothing is evidence against it.

Of course, it is all Bush's fault. Bush and those damned SUVs. Womyn and minorities will be hardest hit.

Thank Algore that a solution has been found. All we need is more central government control. This time, communism will work!