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Molests Your Poodle
Free Republic original content | 5/24/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz

My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.

How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.

Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.

Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.

And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."

Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.

So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".

And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".


TOPICS: FReeper Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: vanity
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

“I wish I could come up with a cool “Indian sounding” name...”

I think I need some caffeine because it took me a moment. Then I read your name... totally cool, Rides a Red Horse!!


101 posted on 05/24/2012 3:42:28 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree

Yeah, I’m a smart aleck.


102 posted on 05/24/2012 3:53:21 PM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

You are an innovator! Just think of it... you had an Indian sounding name way before most of us did! You started the trend!!


103 posted on 05/24/2012 4:00:35 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree

True, but my name is from Revelation Chap 6!


104 posted on 05/24/2012 4:03:05 PM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse
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To: Norm Lenhart

The motto for my rule: Better living through obedience and beer.


105 posted on 05/24/2012 6:37:03 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: Lazamataz

Kudos! Thank you so much for your wonderful essay, dear Lazamataz!


106 posted on 05/24/2012 9:30:15 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: Lazamataz

Gracci, brah.

- Carries-a-Sig-40.


107 posted on 05/24/2012 10:03:07 PM PDT by glock rocks (optimist / pessimist? I'm an awesomist - There's a dragon in that glass!)
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To: Lazamataz

Gracci, brah.

- Carries-a-Sig-40.


108 posted on 05/24/2012 10:03:07 PM PDT by glock rocks (optimist / pessimist? I'm an awesomist - There's a dragon in that glass!)
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To: glock rocks

Are iPads designed to double-post? Just damn.


109 posted on 05/24/2012 10:05:42 PM PDT by glock rocks (optimist / pessimist? I'm an awesomist - There's a dragon in that glass!)
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To: glock rocks

Not sure but after inheriting one from the daughter unit and a trip through the ap store, I see they are quite efficient in separating one with small denominations of cash...repeatedly....

Apple is the devil.....and the Ipad is it’s tool.


110 posted on 05/24/2012 11:00:50 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse; momtothree
True, but my name is from Revelation Chap 6!

momtothree is a woman, not a chap.

But I want to be chap #7 anyways!

111 posted on 05/25/2012 5:10:00 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Marcella
You don't need to prove anything. Ben Quigley tells us we are all Native Americans.

In a metaphysical, arm-wavy, mythical kind of way.

112 posted on 05/25/2012 5:15:15 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Brad's Gramma

At least it was ‘superior’ ..... not ‘flakey, flighty’ or something like that! :-)


113 posted on 05/25/2012 5:54:23 AM PDT by MissMagnolia (Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. (M.Thatcher))
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To: Lazamataz; momtothree

But I want to be chap #7 anyways!


I thought you were Bat Man!

But if you’re Bat Man, whose on first?

I DON’T KNOW!!!


114 posted on 05/25/2012 3:16:01 PM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse
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