[Inspectorette]

I agree 100% with his philosophy, but couldn’t he have just confiscated her laptop and locked it up for a month or two?

[NoGrayZone]

A: I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

Guess you missed that part.

[DouglasKC]

I agree 100% with his philosophy, but couldn’t he have just confiscated her laptop and locked it up for a month or two?

He addressed that I believe...if he merely locked it up it would send the message that she would get it back if she just was "good" for a month or two. She had done this already. This sent the message that it's not coming back unless you want to get a job, save up, and buy one for yourself.

[ottbmare]

I agree 100% with his philosophy, but couldn’t he have just confiscated her laptop and locked it up for a month or two?

No!

1. We tried that in our household when my daughter was about the same age. There were endless weeks of whining, pleading, promising, whining, negotiating, sulking, whining, semi-tantrums, arguing, and whining. It did not work. I wish I had shot the damn thing. Because as long as they know it's still around, you could give it back.

2. He mentioned in the video that they had gone through the same thing several months ago--Hannah was grounded and had her laptop taken away before. Clearly it didn't prevent her from posting more insulting and untrue things again. Dad told her before that things would get ugly if she did it again, and she did it again, so they got ugly.

[papertyger]

I agree 100% with his philosophy, but couldn’t he have just confiscated her laptop and locked it up for a month or two?

This gets to a point I've been wrestling with as a parent quite a bit lately. My daughter is EXTREMELY attractive, kind-hearted, and pleasant. She is also very stubborn, and thick-skinned. Consequently, while she never disobeys us in a truly agregious fashion, she also rarely obeys us circumspectly. (ex: hands the x to mom when we tell her to give it to dad, and visa versa)

As a parent, I don't want to be so punctilious that we actually punish her for violating the letter when she clearly submits to the spirit, but I very much want to instill in her the lesson that some infractions have permanent consequences that can not be undone, despite her turning on the charm, and I want to do so without making her bitter when charm doesn't work.

This dad's actions interest me for one main reason: daughter knows THAT laptop isn't coming back for "good behavior!"

[FrdmLvr]

A month or two? The idea was to permanently remove it. He could have sold it or given it away, but this sent the right message.

[Mad Dawgg]

"I agree 100% with his philosophy, but couldn’t he have just confiscated her laptop and locked it up for a month or two?"

If you want a lesson to stick in the memory you gotta make it worthy of remembrance.

Like when I tossed my Daughter's video game out of the car window straight into a creek. Now when I say: "You can take Door number one which is "follow the rules" or You can take door number two which is: "suffer the consequences"...

Since that time she has NEVER taken "door number two" !!!