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Posted on 11/18/2011 8:33:27 AM PST by Kaslin
These are difficult and perilous times for boys. A distorted culture has robbed them of virtue to measure themselves against. The good once associated with masculinity in a patriarchal society has been tossed out with the bad. This, alas, is the era of feminist ascendency.
Manhood is more easily mocked, satirized and derided, or exposed for its villainy, exploitation and criminality, than held up as an ideal for boys to aspire to. We've always had rogues, rascals and villains, but until now we've also had a baseline, a common denominator, of what it means to be a man. Male-female cultural distinctions, once blurred, now are disappearing.
That was a touching moment when Gloria Cain, in defense of her husband, told Greta van Susteren of Fox News that the harassment accusations couldn't be true because he was a man of "old-school manners," like walking next to the curb when he strolled down the sidewalk with her. Such considerations never made the man, but they were reminders that men cheerfully expected to protect women.
In the previous century, a man didn't have to be a John Wayne hero to be appreciated. His identity was less about the kind of work he did than by the fact that he worked. That single fact has been repealed by the accumulation of cultural changes that do not serve men -- or women -- well. Fewer men than women are finishing high school and obtaining undergraduate or professional degrees. They're entering the workforce much later. They're often dependent on government or family for sustenance. The recession makes things worse.
This confuses children. In a world dominated by media images, the flashy figures of sport and entertainment exert a disproportionate influence on the ambitions and aspirations of the young. The rich and famous become shallow idols, worshipped for their shortcuts in the pursuit of happiness that usually lead only to the illusion of a pot of gold at the end of a vanishing rainbow.
This bothers Bill Bennett, former head of the National Endowment for the Humanities, secretary of education in the Reagan administration and drug czar for George H.W. Bush. He's a prophet exiled from the Old Testament, marking the decline of civilization. His first book, "The Book of Virtues," a collection of moral tales, was an overnight best-seller to readers hungry for the literary gems that had once been a staple of the culture. His new book, "The Book of Man," is an anthology of literary forces riding to the rescue of a culture in a "crisis of manliness."
In the 1950s, he reminds us, 96 percent of boys and men between 15 and 54 worked at real jobs. That number has dropped to 80 percent today. The New Yorker magazine captured the essence of the "Boomerang Generation" with a cover depicting a young man hanging his Ph.D on the wall of his childhood bedroom, to dismay on the faces of his parents stuck with an unwanted roomer.
There are fewer entry-level jobs in an information-based society, which delays the assumption of responsibility. The result for men from deprived backgrounds is catastrophic. Statistics reflect the woe of young black women who are substantially more educated and economically well-off than young black men, which makes their marriage prospects slim. (In one study, one in five black men born between 1975 and 1979 had been in prison before they reached the age of 34.)
What boys -- and men -- do better than girls and women is playing video games. It's hardly surprising that the most popular first-person shooter games that once drew on heroics from World War II now depict violent fantasies set in the immediate future without an authentic historical context. One of the games appeals to the "soldier in all of us." But the conflicts depicted require neither conceptual nor moral thinking about real conflicts. It's forever playtime.
"Why are there so many boys and men who are irresponsible, unmotivated, unchivalrous, selfish, lazy?" asks Bill Bennett. "Why do so many boys and men spend so much time in pointless and soulless activities inconsiderate of others, absorbed in self or mindless technology?"
He doesn't answer the question, but he gives cause for reflection in one volume with examples of man at work and play, governing, soldiering, praying, demonstrating being responsible for families. The men in the stories are not merely slouching toward technology. Times have changed, he argues, but the need for virtue and character in man has not. That's a tough sell.
I need a Catholic husband and I am not black. Is there anyone out there for me?
You can tie all this to so called “women’s liberation.” Yeah, women are now free. They’re now free to work a job, earn an income, work 60 hour weeks AND raise kids and clean the house, too.
I’m sort of missing how women came out ahead in this deal.
Men, on the other hand, more or less won the lotto. Sexual morality is out the window. So guys who are reasonably intelligent and objectively desirable by women have no reason to marry. They’ll spend plenty of time in the saddle indulging their fantasies...with no commitment involved. They also don’t need to work, as their parents or some sugar mama can take care of that.
As if that wasn’t enough, the legal situation facing men is clearly anti-marriage. The game is so rigged against men’s long term interests that they can’t fail to miss the overriding message: getting married and living in a traditional family arrangement is for fools.
I expect marriage to be dead as an institution in the U.S. within a generation. Sure, some men who were raised in a very traditional way or who are very religious will marry. Otherwise, fahgeddaboutit.
And women will find themselves unhappy. Free, liberated, able to grab the world by the horns. But they’ll also for the most part find themselves unmarried and in many cases very lonely.
“I need a Catholic husband and I am not black. Is there anyone out there for me?”
(Sigh.) I hate this.
I’ll tell you what I see when I go to church: very few men of marrying age who are single. Those who are single are looking to go into the priesthood.
I truly hope that you end up being one of the lucky ones to find a mate who meets your criteria.
I’m getting a fair bit of experience in this area. I find that men willingly step out of their role when their women push feminism on them. They are all too happy to let go of their responsibilities, of their pressures. If she wants it, let her freakin have it.
Then we wonder why our marriages are falling apart. We wonder why we don’t love the person we are married to anymore. We wonder why we have no respect for them, or why they don’t love or respect us.
There is a phenomenal movie out there on this subject, called “Not Easily Broken”. It shows the failings on both sides of the marriage bed.
Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Apparently, husbands have to be instructed to love their wives. And apparently, wives have to be instructed to respect their husbands.
I blame the whole thing on power steering and power brakes and the electric starter.
@ 20 yrs. ago, I worked on the 4th floor of a hi-rise, ‘typical’ downtown metro area. A female customer asked me to look out the window & “describe what you see.”
I described a large number of black women who were pushing baby-carriages while gesticulating, yelling, etc., at several children with them...herding them along, I suppose...
Some weeks later, returning, she asked me to do the same thing. This time, I noticed many were accompanied by men (also black), and that the men were helping with the gaggle of kids; pushing the carriages, etc...
Making note of the difference, I asked. She replied; “What time of the month is it?”
...Welfare check disbursement time...
The great society, liberal gubmint PAYS women, and does NOT require men to be responsible in return.
Men show up *at certain times* to get some $$$.
“But why do the women allow the men to use them in such a manner?” I asked.
She said; “LOOK at the women!”
That’s when I understood.
It’s a shameful, societally debilitating dynamic - yet encouraged. “We get what we pay for.”
Ugh!
(sorry)
Add to that list the automatic transmission!
Regards,
GtG
I raised my daughter the same way as I was raised. She has choices. She is trained as a teacher. Right now, she is a stay at home Mom having her third child. It is an extremely tough job and she does it very well. She has my utmost respect.
I also have a son who builds houses and other things. The school system did not recognize his innate interest in the applied physics of understanding how mechanical and natural systems work. All they stressed were liberal arts and getting into college. I used to buy him old chain saws and small engines to take apart and put back together.
With the exception of one, male coaches were more interested in advancing their own children rather than providing a strong role model and improving the individual skills of all.
I think our educational system has failed our boys. For several years I have worked on a “Tech. Prep” committee to articulate middle and high school curriculum with college career certification programs such as welding, power generation, agriculture, natural resource management/forestry, nursing, firefighting and law enforcement. The state cut our money, but we continue on voluntarily.
I think scouting, 4-H and FFA are great programs that provide reinforcement of moral values, business entrepreneurial experience and great leadership skill building. In these, I think rural communities may have the advantage. Boys need responsibility early in life. At the age of 13, my son was digging post holes and setting irrigation lines. By 14, he was feeding stock on a neighbors ranch while they went on a week's vacation.
Just my two cents.
“the great society” encouraged and then required men to NOT be part of a child’s life. Even tody a father is nothing more than a support check.
In the 60’s the social worker would be in the front door and the father would be running out the back door like an escaping lover to a woman whose husband came home early.
Look at Disney, it is all princesses all the time. Prince charming is not allowed to slay the dragon any more because peta gets upset.
Feminism is and remains about giving ugly women access to men. Since men are not buying ugly women, women have to justify their poor choices. Ugly goes straight to the bone.
So the MSN will be saying, "a man out of touch with the times".
Our culture -- feminism, political correctness, secularism -- has crucified male-ness over the past 40 years.
Ladies, we must remember: everything we have, all the freedoms we enjoy, from being able to go swim laps in the same public pool where men are swimming, to venturing out on one's own to carve a living -- these are all, each and every one, privileges we enjoy because men defend our right to them. If men stopped defending us -- well, look at Islam and Sharia, honor killings, burkas, slavery, and rape, if you want the answer to that one.
It's very animal and very basic. We women can talk all we want, but when it comes down to reality, the law doesn't defend us, but the gentleMEN who are willing to defend our right to equal respect, dignity, and freedom.
Sad and lonely women presume to think they're entitled to participate in men's macho on the same terms. Frankly, when I see all this "don't blame the women for this mess" sentiment, I find myself snarling, "Butt out, ladies. You don't belong side-by-side on the battlefield with Marines. Deal." You damned right I blame it on the women for overstepping the line of respect.
Give a woman a car she can drive easy and limitless gas ...
Game over! LOL!*
To paraphrase Shane: "A car's just a tool, Marian, like a broom or a washing machine. It's only as good as the woman using it."
*I love to drive. I could be a truck driver happily.
Thank you for your thoughts. In our blended family my wife and I have been blessed with four daughters and two sons. We raised our daughters as you raised yours, and they are faced with the similar challenges and choices. The eldest has now chosen to become a mother and is due in the Spring with our first grandchild - a boy. His father and I will assure that he understands what it means to be a man.
With the exception of one, male coaches were more interested in advancing their own children rather than providing a strong role model and improving the individual skills of all.
I think our educational system has failed our boys. For several years I have worked on a “Tech. Prep” committee to articulate middle and high school curriculum with college career certification programs such as welding, power generation, agriculture, natural resource management/forestry, nursing, firefighting and law enforcement. The state cut our money, but we continue on voluntarily.
I think scouting, 4-H and FFA are great programs that provide reinforcement of moral values, business entrepreneurial experience and great leadership skill building. In these, I think rural communities may have the advantage. Boys need responsibility early in life. At the age of 13, my son was digging post holes and setting irrigation lines. By 14, he was feeding stock on a neighbors ranch while they went on a week's vacation.
Just my two cents.
Ummm ... two cents' worth? More like two kabillion dollars' worth! You are so 100 percent right.
Sometimes, whenever confronted with a problem like this...I just sit back and wonder what would Don Draper would do??? Then I realize that I probably turn into a serial rapist who stick his hands up ladies’ dress or serial killer. Than I think what Roger Sterling would do-—be rich, handsome, martini drinking, womenizing, smoking, gentleman who marries his younger secretary and gets the woman of his dreams pregnant...and I’m good with it.
ps...there’s nothing wrong with a liberal arts or scientific degree....when some guy loses his finger with chainsaw whose going to re-attach it? and whose going to file the insurance claim?
It’s more than just the feminist thing in the military - it used to be you were allowed to make mistakes and expected to learn from them (nimitz ran aground for instance but his career wasn’t killed). Now careers are killed within the first few years for training related exercises or pc issues or not getting along with a dept head/xo or co. It’s a shame because a lot of good people leave based in watching others go through it. It’s one thing to serve - something else when your expected to grovel or bow before the masters (some who are there due to connections only)
Amen sister!
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