Posted on 08/06/2011 12:05:55 AM PDT by oblomov
"At this point in my life," says Audrey, age 39, "I thought I'd be married with children." A native of southeast Washington, D.C., and the child of parents who are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, Audrey seems like the proverbial "good catch"—smart, funny, well-educated, attractive.
Audrey earns a good living, too, with an income from management consulting that far surpasses what her parents ever made. Her social life is busy as well, filled with family, friends and church.
Only about one in 20 black women is interracially married; they are much less likely than black men to cross the race line.
What Audrey lacks is a husband. As she told me, sitting at a restaurant in the fashionable Dupont Circle neighborhood of the nation's capital, "I'm trying to get to a point where I accept that marriage may never happen for me."
Audrey belongs to the most unmarried group of people in the U.S.: black women. Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven't married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.
What explains this marriage gap? As a black man, my interest in the issue is more than academic. I've looked at all the studies—the history, the social science, the government data—and I've spent a year traveling the country interviewing scores of professional black women. In exchange for my promise to conceal their identities (in part by using pseudonyms, as I've done here), they shared with me their most personal experiences and desires in relation to marriage and family.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
Many American blacks seem to have a curious combination of envy and admiration for black Africans, at least the ones that come to the US for school or work. It’s as if American blacks tacitly regard the slavery experience as diminishing themselves in some way. Black Africans won independence from colonialism, but even under colonialism they never experienced the particularly harsh form of slavery suffered by blacks in the US South.
There really isn’t an analog among other ethnic groups. For example, most Slavs were enslaved just a few generations before slavery ended in the US. In fact, the word “slave” comes from the ethnic descriptor “Slav”. And yet I have never read a modern Slavic writer who still harbors resentments over the Slavic diaspora and enslavement.
The same with Irish writers in the US...
Why would you ever make a comment such as this? Particularly harsh? Have you read any history?
Blacks here in America were the lucky ones. First of all their ancestors were not killed when their tribe lost to the tribe that enslaved them. Then their ancestors were transported to our country and not to the Islands or South America. Had that happened they most likely would not be here because 90% of those slaves died. 90% of the slaves arriving here in the US lived and many of them have prospered.
This is still the land of opportunity. The data show clearly that many are able to rise from poverty to become millionaires. More than any other country. A group of people that is unable to prosper in this environment will never be able to prosper anywhere.
***Cough...Cough...B*LLSH*T...Cough***
I agree- and that was my intended point- that American blacks alone continue to harbor resentments and are unable to prosper as other ethnic groups have. This is a choice on their part.
“Holy cow.”
Hell, if they treat getting an education as selling out to Whitey, this is child’s play.
You bring up a very good point.
I've seen women bragging about destroying their husbands on internet forums. The replies are pure encouragement and a "You go, girl!" attitude. Disgusting. I don't care if it is to be blamed on Womens' Lib, Cosmo, Oprah, or whatever. The result is absolutely real and is what we read about in articles such as the one from this thread.
What really amazes me is how the very same women totally FAIL to understand things like the emergence of the poorly-named "marriage strike" and cynical concepts like "game". Seriously, google a Marie Claire article called "The Starter Husband" and look at it from a Western man's perspective.
Sorry for rambling, but there's a ton to be said on this subject, and I've been drinking a lot of beer. :)
That is complete bs...the bastard rate for black kids in 1962 was 20 percent
For whites around .05 percent
Don’t believe the canards or this notion that whites can fix blacks by marrying them
Doesn’t that strike all the stupids here and their pollyanna views on race as the height of true bigotry?
Anyone remember the old now banned liberal freeper memphis belle?
this was her usual refrain
Make everyone mixed race
Man...i cannot believe how weak and stupid whites are today
Totally inaccurate...research it
Black rate was forty times whites back then
Since then they have both gone up
God bless you brother
You and me both....silly weak peace corp talk here
And soft bigotry racism they spout blissfully unaware of the contradiction
My wife is one sixteenth creek cherokee but I sure don’t feel obliged to be a race missionary via interracial marriage which brings to mind that here interracial sex has zero to do with marriage and everything to do with fatherless kids and sexual opportunities for undesirable white girls unavailable to them before the stigmas lessened for some
Hey, that's understandable...
"Do you have boyfren?"
Great post to a complete idiot....
Isn’t it fun how all the race baiters have crawled back now with another election looming?
What are they really here for....dig deep and I bet u finds an anti freeper
Yes, but those who have not been Americanized have been spared the greatest assault...the soft bigotry of low expectations combined with big government good intentions.
I went out on one date with a black gal who grew up in Africa. When she told me she had 27 brothers and sisters and that her her father had seven wives I lost interest.
She phone stalked me for seven years.
that’s exactly what she told me!!
Yep. I used to be married to an American Black Southener 12 years my senior. So I had an “in” into the community. This was during my “liberal years” ages 22-28. Once I got a job in subsidized housing and discovered Rush Limbaugh, my liberal days were over.
I did learn how to make great fried chicken and ribs, though!
Yeah, it’s called “Parental Alienation” which in turn leads to something *I* call “Adult Spousal Status” where (usually) cutodial biomom “befriends” the children instead of acting like a parent and inappropriately bestows upon the children a sense of “adult equal” or actually superiority to biodad.
From PAS awareness site:
Some early signs of Parental Alienation:
Children perceive one parent as causing financial problems of the other parent
Children appear to have knowledge of details relating to the legal aspects of the divorce or separation
Children show sudden negative change in their attitude toward a parent/guardian
Children appear uneasy around target parent - they resort to “one word” answers and fail to engage openly in conversations as they previously have done
Children are uncharacteristically rude and/or belligerent to target parent
Access time is not occurring as agreed upon or court ordered - visitation is being unilaterally cut back by the other parent
Hostile Aggressive Parent (HAP) parent undermines the other parent or speaks disparagingly about other parent in the presence of the children
HAP parent starts making reference to other parent as being abusive and a risk to the children with no apparent good reason
Allowing children to choose whether or not to visit a parent, even though the court has not empowered the parent or children to make that choice;
Telling the children about why the marriage failed and giving them the details about the divorce or separation settlement;
Refusing the other parent access to medical and school records or schedules of extracurricular activities;
Blaming the other parent for not having enough money, changes in lifestyle, or other problems in the children’s presence;
Rigid enforcement of the visitation schedule for no good reason other than getting back at the other parent;
False allegations of sexual abuse, drug and alcohol use or other illegal activities by the other parent;
Asks the children to choose one parent over the other;
Reminding the children that the children have good reason to feel angry toward their other parent;
Setting up temptations that interfere with visitation;
Giving the children the impression that having a good time on a visit will hurt the parent;
Asking the children about the other parent’s personal life;
‘Rescuing’ the children from the other parent when there is no danger.
yum - nothing wrong with that!
I had some liberal leanings in my youth too....it happens, then you grow up (well, SOME of us do!)
People go where they are appreciated. The European stock men have never pursued me romantically. Middle-aged Jewish men and some Indians treat me like a goddess. Guess who I hang out with?
I don't see anybody picking on Bobby DeNiro, neither.
Turned out better for him than for Eddie Murphy......
"Eddie! "Eddie! "I want to talk to yooooooooooo!"
"What's your problem, baby?"
"I don't like the way you treat me, Eddie. You treat me like animal.
"You was butt naked on a zebra last month."
"I don't care, Eddie. I am American woman now. I want what's coming to me.
"Eddie, what have you done for me lately?"
"I want you to be happy. Well, what you want?"
"Half!"
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