Wart-B-GoneTM (also removes heads)
Posted on 06/15/2011 8:21:21 PM PDT by Mount Athos
A British man has shot his own finger off in an effort to get rid of a painful wart.
Sean Murphy, a security guard from Yorkshire, blew most of his middle finger off with a shotgun after drinking several pints of beer, The Sun newspaper reported.
The 38-year-old was charged with possessing an illegal firearm after the incident but walked free yesterday after a judge handed him a suspended sentence.
Murphy told the Doncaster Magistrates' Court how he had lived with the wart for five years and had tried several removal creams over the years to no avail.
He added that the wart "was hurting a lot and causing my finger to bend".
"It was as big as my thumbnail. I'd been to the doctors with it and tried all sorts of things but it wouldn't go," he was quoted saying.
He said he didn't expect to lose most of his finger in the shooting.
The 38-year-old pleaded guilty to the possession of firearms charge and also to theft of the shotgun after he told police he found the firearm in a hedge near his work.
A police investigation revealed that it was stolen in a 2009 burglary which Murphy claims he had no knowledge of, The Sun reported.
The judge handed him a 16-week suspended sentence.
President Truman always wanted a one-handed economist. At least this is a start. He wouldn't be able to engage in as much finger pointing.
Wart-B-GoneTM (also removes heads)
Or...one could just secure a roofing nail in Vice Grips, heat head of nail to cherry red and then vaporized the wart with the nail.
Now watch. A bigger wart will grow back where his finger used to be.
You could do it that way but then when the wart
grew out it would push the roofing nail out of
where it was embeded in your skin.
Sometimes old ways ARE best...
That's British for mobile home, y'all.
When I was a senior in high school, I had a wart on my chin. It was most embarrassing and was impossible to hide. Finally my dad dragged me up to a GP who froze the area around the wart and within minutes had cut it off, then cauterized it. Twenty minutes after going in, we left his office and I was wart-free. That was over 50 years ago. I would’ve thought that the NHS would’ve figured that out by now, so that the Yorkshire lad would still have his finger. Watch out for Obama care.
“Just think, after Obamacare goes into effect, we’ll be doing the same thing...because we won’t be able to see a doctor for 6 mos.”
Get ready for the ‘back alley’ wart removal procedures. I guess he’s lucky he didn’t get charged with practicing medicine without a license.
“Warts and all: Murphy’s stump can be clearly seen in this image....”
Somehow, I could see the phrase “Murphy’s stump” becoming something of a meme.
Stump water; dead cat; midnight; full moon; ask Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer.
This guy was just plain nuts; the shotgun never works, no matter how much beer-—it takes at least a fifth of Scotch!
laughing....too hard.....to breathe
LOL
What happens if he grows one on his Weiner?
seriously? haven’t these people ever heard of gray duct tape?
>> The 38-year-old was charged with possessing an illegal firearm
It’s absolutely asinine that possession of a firearm is normally considered illegal.
How long before he sues the shotgun manufacturer for not having a “Not for Wart Removal Use” warning label? I’m sure plenty of lawyers would take the case..
Put this bozo on the Darwin Award wait list.
Another advert for the NHS there.
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