FReeper Canteen - Christmas Cheer - 23 Dec 2010

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[AZamericonnie]

~Holiday Cheer~

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.

In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.

A Letter To Santa From Mom--

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

What To Give An Optimist And A Pessimist--

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, at Christmas time their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

*Christmas in the Military*

*Christmas For Our Military*

*Remember Our Troops This Christmas Season*

*Santa Claus.Com*

*Elf Yourself*

[AZamericonnie]

[HopeandGlory]

Good morning Troops, Veterans and Canteeners.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Our Flag Flying Proudly One Nation Under God

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Lord, Please Bless Our Troops, They're fighting for our Freedom.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

God Bless Our Republic

I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic, for which it stands;
one nation UNDER GOD,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

Prayers going up

[AZamericonnie]

Supporting our Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Airmen, and Coast Guardsmen
at more than 1,000 places across the U. S. and around the world.

~Tribute to Our Troops~

[oldteen]

Evenin’ Connie! *hugs*

[MrEdd]

Merry Christ Mass.

[The Mayor]

Freep mail me to be on or off the Daily Bread ping list

Christmas—God’s Cure
December 23, 2010

If your physician called you and in a serious voice said, “Please come in as soon as you can. I have something to discuss with you,” you would know he has bad news! Your first response might be, “No, I don’t want to know.” But you go because it is only when you know the diagnosis that you can learn the cure.

God, our Great Physician, also has some bad news—about man’s spiritual condition. When against His expressed warning Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God told Adam that all mankind would die spiritually and physically. That’s the bad news.

But He also gave the solution. He promised a Savior (Gen. 3:15). The apostle John tells us, “Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17). But how does that help? Jesus came that first Christmas to bring God’s grace, something that none of us deserve because like Adam we have all sinned. But Jesus also came to reverse what sin brought. He came to be the truth (John 14:6) that would bring us back to God. He came to “save His people from their sins” (Matt. 1:21).

Listen to what the Great Physician has to say in the Bible about your spiritual condition. Then accept the cure He has provided—the gift of salvation through Christ.

Life is uncertain,
Death is sure;
Sin the cause,
Christ the cure. —Anon.

Spiritual blindness can be cured only by the Great Physician.

Read: John 1:10-18

Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. —John 1:17

Bible in a year:
Nahum 1-3; Revelation 14

[writer33]

For the troops to enjoy:

North Pole Overburdened With "Special Request Deliveries From Santa

and:

Have A Very FReeper Christmas

[oldteen]

Great stories, Connie!

That letter from Mom sure brings back some memories! lol

[AZamericonnie]

Good evening Hope & thank you for our festive pledge!

Hand over heart & prayers up! *hugs*

1 Christmas stocking

[AZamericonnie]

Good evening Teenie & thanks for the rain....it's just now getting here! *hugs*

2 Christmas stocking

[oldteen]

Good evening and thank you Hope for our nations pledge!

*hugs*

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

[AZamericonnie]

A VERY Merry Christ Mass you MrEdd! *hugs*

3 Christmas stocking

[AZamericonnie]

No greater gift.....

Good evening Mayor & thank you for our daily bread! *hugs*

[Kathy in Alaska]

Christmas Cheer

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[AZamericonnie]

Good evening Writer & thanks for the links for our troops! *hugs*

I was going to do cute letters from Santa this evening...but I rather like the ones you posted best! LOL

[SandRat]

Thank you Connie, Santa will soon be on his way.

[AZamericonnie]

Why Women would love to be Santa Claus....

1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Guam and consider it a job requirement.
4. Buy one big black belt and you'd be accessorized for life.
5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled...when you laughed...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who's boss.
10. You wouldn't need to buy an expensive briefcase.
11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work.
12. You'd never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing.
13. No more trips to the vending machine...you'd just snack on milk and cookies all day (FOR FREE!).
14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap.
16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue.
18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.

[AZamericonnie]

Good evening Kathy & thanks for da ping! *hugs*

Checks all posted? Ready for a nap?:)

[AZamericonnie]

Indeed he will Sandy! *hugs*

A good day for you?

Did you start the new job yet?

[sergeantdave]

Nice. Thank you every one of you. You have our backs on the home front and I appreciate that.

Semper fi, ladies.

Here’s a few hugs and kisses - XXXXXXXXX.

If that’s enough, I’d be happy to add more.