Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.
The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says...
The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says," What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"
Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”
Very funny, Thanks for the laugh.
LOL!
A priest, a Baptist pastor and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
I don't get it...it's all Greek to me.
Uygay oesgay intoway away arbay, ere’sthay away obotray
artenderbay.
Ethay obotray ayssay, “Atwhay illway ouyay avehay?” Ethay uygay
ayssay, “Artinimay.” Ethay obotray ingsbray ackbay ethay estbay
artinimay everway andway ayssay otay ethay anmay, “At’swhay
ouryay IQWAY?” Ethay uygay ayssay, “168”. Ethay obotray enthay
oceedspray otay alktay aboutway ysicsphay, acespay
explorationway andway edicalmay echnologytay.
Ethay uygay eaveslay, utbay ehay isway uriouscay, osay ehay
oesgay ackbay intoway ethay arbay. Ethay obotray artenderbay
ayssay,” Atwhay illway ouyay avehay?” Ethay uygay ayssay, “
Artinimay”. Againway, ethay obotray akesmay away eatgray
artinimay, ivesgay itway otay ethay anmay andway ayssay, “
At’swhay ouryay IQWAY?” Ethay uygay ayssay, “100.” Ethay obotray
enthay artsstay otay alktay aboutway ASCARNAY, Udweiserbay
andway Ohnjay Eereday actorstray.
Ethay uygay eaveslay, utbay indsfay itway eryvay interestingway
, osay ehay inksthay ehay illway ytray itway oneway oremay
imetay. Ehay oesgay ackbay intoway ethay arbay. Ethay obotray
ayssay, “Atwhay illway ouyay avehay?” Ethay uygay ayssay, “
Artinimay”, andway ethay obotray ingsbray imhay anotherway
eatgray artinimay. Ethay obotray enthay ayssay, “At’swhay ouryay
IQWAY?” Ethay uygay ayssay, “Uhway, aboutway 50.” Ethay obotray
eanslay inway ealray oseclay andway ayssay, “Osay, ouyay
eoplepay illstay appyhay ouyay otedvay orfay Obamaway?”
Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.
The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says...
The Devil said, “I will give you money, power, the ability to impose your will on others, but you must give me your immortal soul and work for the domination of Evil over the world and the oppression on men.”
Senator Reid thought for a moment, then said, “Wait a minute! What’s the catch?”
Guy goes into a bar, thar’s a robot bartenner. Th’ robot says, “Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini.”
Th’ robot brin’s back th’ bess martini evah an’ says t’th’ man, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “168”. Th’ robot then proceeds t’talk about physics, space splorashun an’ medical technology.
Th’ guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into th’ bar. Th’ robot bartenner says,” Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini”. Agin, th’ robot makes a great martini, gives it t’th’ man an’ says, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “100.” Th’ robot then starts t’talk about NASCAR, Budweizzu an’ John-Boy Deere tracko’s.
Th’ guy leaves, but finds it mighty interestin’, so he reckons he will try it one mo’e time. He goes back into th’ bar. Th’ robot says, “Whut in tarnation will yo’ have?” Th’ guy says, “Martini”, an’ th’ robot brin’s him t’other great martini. Th’ robot then says, “Whut in tarnation’s yer IQ?” Th’ guy says, “Uh, about 50.”
Th’ robot leans in real close an’ says, “So, yo’ varmints still happy yo’ voted fo’ Obama?”
Pardon me, I speak Jive:
Guy goes into some bar, deres some robot bartender. Ah be baaad... De robot says, What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini. Ya’ know?” De robot brin’s back de best martini eva’ and says t’de man, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, 168”. De robot den proceeds t’rap about physics, space ‘esplo’ashun and medical technology. Slap mah fro! De guy leaves, but he be curious, so’s he goes back into de bar. Ah be baaad... De robot bartenda’ says,” What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini. Again, de robot makes some great martini, gives it t’de dude and says, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, 100.” De robot den starts t’rap about NASCAR, Budweisa’ and Raz’tus Deere tracto’s. De guy leaves, but finds it real interestin’, so’s he dinks he gots’ta try it one mo’e time. What it is, Mama! He goes back into de bar. Ah be baaad... De robot says, What gots’ta ya’ gots’?” De guy says, Martini, and da damn robot brin’s him anoda’ great martini. Ya’ know? De robot den says, Whats yo’ IQ?” De guy says, Uh, about 50.” De robot leans in real close and says, So, ya’ sucka’s still happy ya’ voted fo’ Obama?”
Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close, throws the martini in the guy’s face and says, “You idiot Obama voters have destroyed the country!!!!”
This version is also funny:
Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says,” What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”. Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Martini”, and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168”. The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
public class Joke {
public static void main(String[] args) {
Guy guy = new Guy();
Robot robot = new Robot();
for (int i = 0; i < 3; i++) {
guy.enterBar();
robot.ask(guy, "What will you have");
guy.order(robot,"Martini");
Drink drink = robot.make("Martini");
robot.giveDrink(drink,guy);
int iq = i == 0 ? 150 : i == 1 ? 100 : 50;
conversation(robot, iq);
guy.leaveBar();
}
}
private static void conversation(Robot robot, Integer iq) {
if (iq <= 50)
robot.talk(new String[] { "Are you still happy you voted for Obama" });
else if (iq < 150)
robot.talk(new String[] { "NASCAR", "Budweiser","John Deere tractors" });
else
robot.talk(new String[] { "physics", "space exploration","medical technology" });
}
}
0bama = the shortest punch line in history.
Moving right along, A seal pup goes into a bar, and the bartender says “what’ll it be pal?”
The little seal pup looks up and says in a meek voice,
“uhhh, ANYthing but Canadian Club?”
Obama says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." Obama brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". Obama then proceeds to talk about Obama
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. Obama says," What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, Obama makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." Obama then starts to talk about Obama.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. Obama says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and Obama brings him another great martini. Obama then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." Obama then starts to talk about Obama.
OK, say “knock-knock”
A first grade teacher asks all of her students to raise their hands if they love Obama.
One little boy doesn’t raise his hand so the teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you love Obama?”
Johnny answers, “Because I’m a republican.”
The teacher asks him, “Why are you a republican?”
Johnny says, “My dads a republican and my moms a republican, so that makes me a republican.”
So the teacher asks, “What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would that make you.”
Johnny says, “That would make me a democrat and I’d love Obama.”