Posted on 12/15/2009 12:14:11 PM PST by pissant
Just in Time for you last minute shoppers, here is a handy shopping guide for the hard to please and for the guy/gal 'who has everythng'
8. NunZilla
Waddles, wields a cork backed ruler, and has fire coming out of her mouth. Just like Sister Natalie, and Sister Jean, and Sister Margaret, etc. etc. WHO TO GIVE TO: Those who are still suffering psychological trauma from their years in parochial schools
7. Michael Jackson Doll
Ah memories of the late MJ. Looks just like the King of Pop....at least before the last round of facial mutilations. WHO TO GIVE TO: Any former child (boy) still suffering the psychological trauma of being groped by the freak
6. Christmas Story Leg Lamp
Even comes in it's own Italian Frah-gee-lay box. And sure to get the same reception from the wife as in the movie. WHO TO GIVE TO: To your employee who is expecting a great Christmas bonus this year...in lieu of the bonus.
5. Pull my Finger Santa
Santa has clever phrases such as "FAAAART!! There's a gift for ya!" and "FAAAART!! Ahhhh the Holiday smells". WHO TO GIVE TO: To your grampa. Senile or not, he'll enjoy it.
4. Neuticles
Their ad speaks for itself. WHO TO GIVE TO: Your GOP congressman or Senator.....and quick. No time to wait for Santa
3. Obama Socialism T-Shirt
Not really a gag gift, when one realizes that truer words have never been printed on a T-shirt. WHO TO GIVE TO: Your liberal drinking buddies as well as your conservative friends. Buy em by the bushel.
2. Beatin Barack doll
View at your own discretion
http://www.prankplace.com/product.aspx?d=Politics-Sucks.BEATIN-BARACK&p=28737&c=63
Only thing missing is the matching Larry Sinclair doll. WHO TO GIVE TO: Those annoying liberals who claim to be good Christians and are trying to canonize St. Barack. Buy em by the bushel.
1. NBC's "Yes We Can" video
The epitome of a GAG gift. A collectors item soon to be scrubbed from the market. A cruel, cruel reminder to those idiots who actually voted for this incompetent marxist pansy. WHO TO GIVE TO: Send copies to all the employees at MSNBCNBCABCSBSCNNPBSTBSESPNNYTIMES
Yes, it is a real Texas product.
http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the nuns I had in elementary school were the sweetest, kindest, warmest women I've ever known in my life. Much more Lillies of the Field than the strange parodies in B-movies. I don't get it.
I had both. More mean ones than sweet ones though.
Does it work?
A lot of it is era, and luck. The nuns that taught my grandmother literally beat the left-handedness out of her.
I think it might have had something to do with the Order as well. Mine were Dominicans. I always worry that they think we hate them and our memories of them. Not me, not at all.
It does sell well at Tractor Supply right before Christmas.
Where’s the Heineken?
Same here. In fact, when we moved and my parents put me in a public school, I begged and cried to go back to parochial school.
She must of been bad...lol
what pissant said...
Hold on. Looter guy is slightly delayed.....
Well according to Latin all us lefties are sinister (as opposed to righties who are dexter). Of course during that era smacking your kids was pretty much punishment method number 1, for everybody not just nuns.
You must have been the teacher's pet--as I was. But I remember my eighth grade teacher, an elderly Dominican nun from Ireland. She actually did wield a heavy weight gold ruler, which she did use to rap the knuckles of the class miscreants. She was a terror, but she liked me, so I was lucky.
I was somewhat of a miscreant in elementary school, hardly someone who cultivated teachers, but in retrospect, I think they did liked me.
The mother superior (and principal) of our school was a piece of work. I never saw a classroom teacher strike a student, ever, but Mother Superior would cuff you for any offense and she had a nasty and dyspeptic personality. Fortunately, I hardly ever crossed her path.
There was one episode where I got in a fight outside of church on Sunday with a classmate. He was clearly the aggressor, but he got a shiner and I was more or less unscathed. He wasn’t in school Monday, and he and his mother showed up later, with him sporting a patch over his eye. I was called into the principal’s office. She listened to my version of events, listened to his and summoned one witness, who was the would-be bully’s best friend. The witness backed up my account, and she threw the other kid and his mother out of her office. She treated me fairly, so despite her personality, I have to give her credit.
By the way, my assailant grew up to get involved in the trash removal business in New York City and lost a photofinish with a Federal grand jury. He copped to manslaughter in the death of his partner (I don’t recall the Federal charges, probably boilerplate racketeering) and is still listed (with photograph) on the Federal offender website. So I guess I got off easy.
You're fortunate. Sister Laurentia hated my guts. I can almost hear the sound of the wooden ruler smacking my 4th grade hands. I saw more of the blackboard from 1' away with my face to the board than of my desk. Bad boys got to hold their ankles and get whacked on the rear with a wooden bolo stick (they used to have rubber bands with rubber balls attached to them). Oh, those were the days. By the way, I was pretty much a straight A student in those days. My grades did not go down until my family moved and I was enrolled in a public school.
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