Al Gore, Poet Laureate

KETK -- NBC ^ | December 7, 2009 | N/A

[parsifal]

In his almost 30 years of crusading against global warming, Al Gore has worn a variety of hats. In roughly chronological order these include: congressman, senator, author, vice president, traveling evangelist, filmmaker, investment adviser, and Nobel Peace Prize winner. Now, with the publication of his new book, Our Choice, Gore has unveiled a fresh and most unexpected talent: the book's opening chapter of concludes with a poem he wrote-21 lines of verse that are equal parts beautiful, evocative, and disturbing.

Here is how the poem begins:

One thin September soon A floating continent disappears In midnight sun

Vapors rise as Fever settles on an acid sea

[parsifal]

Before you freepers get all warm and fuzzy, I wrote a response:

Ah, distinctly I remember,

In was in a cold December. . .

Or, maybe June?

Anyway, in a meadow,

It came to pass

A shepherd sat and smoked some grass.

Suddenly, the blazing siren!

Flashing lights, from far and wide!

Cops rush down the mountainside.

Roughly thrown, and tasered twice.

The shepherd falls with quite a thud.

Thrown face down into the mud.

The shepherd cries. . .

Its just some pot, don’t be hard hearted!

C’mon dudes, Let’s just relax!

The cop replies. . .

It ain’t the drugs, your sheep have farted. . .

And you ain’t paid your methane tax!

parsy, who was feeling poetic

[massgopguy]

Come to think of it, he looks like a Vogon.

[ronnyquest]

Alright, I’m having to suppress my gag reflex. Thanks.

[WOBBLY BOB]

ping to mock manbearpig later

[TN4Liberty]

Outstanding - how... nuanced!

[parsifal]

Gag reflex? parsy, the helpful

[The Cajun]

I have a much simpler poetic response:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Come around me Algore
And you'll get a shoe
As time has come to pass
You'll think NFL great Ray Guy
Has kicked you in the ass

Not much rhyming but a lot of reasons ;^)

[Iron Munro]

Cause of terminal idiocy traced to Gore-bull Warming.

[paulycy]

[Little Bill]

Once on the plain I decided that I would be wild and free.

With promptings from the CRU, I decided I would be a tree.

[Maumee]

I have a much simpler poetic reply....

Mine is even simpler....
He’s a poet?
Don’t know it,
His feet show it,
They’re Longfellows.

[maxwellsmart_agent]

Grade school children do better. He is no Robert Frost!

[hiho hiho]

ALBERT TETZEL GORE

[hiho hiho]

ALBERT TETZEL GORE

[Papa Possum]

Sorry, I missed this post until today.
Here's a poem I wrote for AlGore a while back.
I hope he likes it.

If you like it, you can read more at my blog.
You can also Freep mail me to get on my ping list.

Brother Al's Traveling Ecopalypse Show

Establishment Clause?... Anyone?... Anyone?...

Once upon a long, long time,
        before the age of Man,
The Earth was green
        and quite pristine,
an Eden wonderland.

Far wiser creatures roamed The Earth
        pre-Man's ascendancy,
tooth and claw
        and tarpits all
just lived in harmony.

Fireball and earthquake,
        glacier ice, volcano flame,
would rip and tear
        The Ecosphere,
yet Eden stayed the same.

Then Man, the evil wretch, appeared
        with greed and carbon sin,
arrogant stride
        and market pride,
Man did poor Eden in.

But from patrician pampered privilege
        a Prophet answered the plea
a Promised One,
        Senator's son,
failed doc divinity.

He collated contextless graphs
        and false cause photo clips
and made a go
        of a roadshow
preaching Apocalypse.

He soon was Senator, like Dad,
        and even became Veep,
Two Thousand went,
        lost President,
and went off the end deep.

Then took the roadshow to the screen
        to mass evangelize,
and pushed the vid
        upon the kids
and won The Nobel Prize.

Though infidels and heretics
        denied The Truth they heard
and dared profess
        no consensus,
The Prophet preached The Word.

'Til in the halls of Congress,
        His Gospel at last obeyed,
by their will
        came Holy Bill
for Carbon Cap and Trade.

So rejoice, all ye brethren,
        for His Glory is at hand,
His Sacraments
        for low footprints
will justly rule the land.

Lightbulbs, trees, toilet paper,
        hybrid cars and compost piles,
windmill spins,
        recycle bins,
and eco-Marxist smiles,

Soy milk, organic honey,
        Green Delights now all in store,
Liberty stilled
        with no Free Will,
The Holy Church of Gore.

Brother Al's Traveling Ecopalypse Show, Copyright © 2009 Papa Possum