"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
Dennis you don't understand women.
Females are not sex machines - ready at any time like males. Any male can have sex with little notice. In fact, jokes are common about that. Double bagger? “Had to be drunk to roll in the hay with that one ...”. And on and on it goes. Women REQUIRE emotion or enlist a hooker for the night where you pay for it and NO emotion is needed.
Dennis, you usually do better than this.
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Not sure how many Freepers under the age of 35 are reading this thread, but here’s a tip;
Get your finances in order. My wife and I have been married almost 9 years with 3 kids age 2-6.
Removing financial stress from our household has done wonders for her libido. Since we rarely have money fights, we rarely fight at all. When we were young and broke, every minor crisis carried with it a financial crisis and it weighed on her much more than it did me.
I was shocked at how receptive my wife became once that burden was lifted. Just a thought....
Marking for later read.
Dennis, stick to politics.
The attitude in this article is part of the problem, not part of the solution.
Dennis Prager is correct, with the basic assumptions he listed and common sense. Most women do not understand men. I assume the reciprocal case is also true, that most men do not understand women. If you love someone, you are going to bond with them and give them what you can.
Reading some of the reactions on this thread just reinforces my reluctance to ever get married. Yes, it's unreasonable to expect a woman to drop everything and be intimate with her husband precisely when he wants it, every time he wants it. I suspect this is not what Mr. Prager is advocating (but I can see where one would get that impression from what he has written).
But I don't think a little give-and-take is unreasonable. If hubby is all hot and bothered and you're not quite feeling it, why not tell him "Right now's not so good, but if you can wait till tonight/tomorrow I guarantee it will be worth it!" I suspect most men would be willing to wait- I would- and the anticipation might make things more interesting for both spouses. Or if there is something wrong, tell him about it so he can help. But a flat-out rejection with no explanation just makes it seem like she isn't interested anymore.
Of course I would expect to take the same approach for a lot of things I may not always be enthused about in a relationship. I'm not always ready for a conversation on the "state of the relationship" at the drop of a hat. Nor am I always in the mood to a be a sounding board for my SO's daily struggles, or to review the latest batch of shoes she purchased during a shopping spree. That's not to say I don't like conversing with my partner, or lending her a sympathetic ear, or sharing her interests. It's just that I don't approach these things in the same way women do. Even still, if it's something she cares about I feel like I should make some effort to accommodate her wants.
If my wife came home wanting to tell me about the horrible day she had, I would never respond with "I really don't want to hear it. I'm stressed and I have a lot going on right now." Even if I didn't want to hear it, I would either set aside what I was doing and listen, or at least tell her that I could be more supportive in an hour or so. I wouldn't just reject her outright, or expect her to perform certain tasks (say, making me a drink) to get me in more of a listening mood.
But I get the sense that if I came home looking for some physical intimacy, a lot of women would think it perfectly appropriate to tell me "I really don't want to. I'm stressed and I have a lot going on right now."
This was one of the most interesting threads I’ve ever read. Fun and informative at the same time.
I’ve been reading it on and off today but haven’t read all the posts yet. It caught my husband’s eye earlier, too so that was a fun discussion :) LOL
Maybe I’ve been lucky...making love/sex/sexual intimacy/whatever else one wants to call it, has never been a problem/issue in our marriage. I enjoy it all the time, any time. All it takes is seeing the look in my husband’s eyes to get me ready. Everything else takes a back seat, so to speak. My body is his and his body is mine.
Yes marriages settle in and some partners become more roommates than lovers. Nevertheless it is important to maintain that sexual connection.
All that said, men need to realize that women are wired differently. Listening to our "drivel", worries and concerns only bring you closer to the ultimate goal. Do not compete with your mate. Do not make disparaging remarks.
Last but not least, for women who have gone through menopause and have seem to have lost desire. Go get hormone therapy. Get a shot of testostarone and you will soon realize why your husband is so ready to go.
Very perceptive analysis here. Women have to wise up. But due to divorce lawyers and a stacked legal system they cannot be forced to wise up.
Though the very bad recession may start killing divorce as a viable alternative to listening to her husband. Not that males are geniuses but we do have our own biology which is denigrated by the mass media and popular culture
Here's a case study.
Great Article, looking forward to part 2
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