The Bipolar Puzzle

NY Times ^ | September 14, 2008 | JENNIFER EGAN

[neverdem]

When Claire, a pixie-faced 6-year-old in a school uniform, heard her older brother, James, enter the family’s Manhattan apartment, she shut her bedroom door and began barricading it so swiftly and methodically that at first I didn’t understand what she was doing. She slid a basket of toys in front of the closed door, then added a wagon and a stroller laden with dolls. She hugged a small stuffed Pegasus to her chest. “Pega always protects me,” she said softly. “Pega, guard the door.”

James, then 10, had been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder two years earlier. He was attending a therapeutic day school in another borough and riding more than an hour each way on a school bus, so he came home after Claire. Until James’s arrival that April afternoon, Claire was showing me sketches she had drawn of her Uglydolls and chatting about the Web site JibJab, where she likes to watch goofy videos. At the sound of James’s footsteps outside her bedroom door, she flattened herself behind the barricade. There was a sharp knock. After a few seconds, James’s angry, wounded voice barked, “Forget it,” and the steps retreated.

“If it’s my brother, I don’t open it,” Claire said. “I don’t care if I’m being mean. . . . I never trust him. James always jumps out and scares me. He surprises me in a bad way.”

I left Claire’s bedroom and found James with his mother, Mary, in their spacious living room, which has a sidelong view of the Hudson River. James is a fair, athletic-looking boy with a commanding voice and a restless, edgy gait. He began reading aloud a story he wrote at school called “The Mystery of My Little Sister.” It involved James discovering Claire almost dead, rescuing her and forming a...

[neverdem]

Lord have mercy.

[redstateconfidential]

Those used to beat the Devil out of those kind of kids, now they ask Oprah why the kids can’t explore their “boundaries” better.

[conservative cat]

It’s just sad. My son is autistic and has rages, and we are working on trying a new medicine regime, so I understand some of what they are going through. These doctors should never prescribe Ritalin for these kids. Two different doctors tried to put my son on stimulants, and he freaked out on them. The only other thing I would try to do is to look at the kids’ diets. It’s not the only thing that will help, but it might help a little bit. My 4 year old is NUTS when she has artificial food coloring. I thought we were going to have to take her to a psychiatrist. Once we found the food coloring problem and took her off, she’s a new kid.

[TenthAmendmentChampion]

Sounds like a job for Nanny 911

[Aliska]

That doesn't sound like anybody with bi-polar disorder I ever knew. The kid sounds psychotic and in serious need of discipline. He's up and down like a yoyo. That little girl having to live in that home is not healthy, and is downright child abuse. One can only imagine what James' behavior will be when he becomes a teenager. He sounds like he's jealous of his little sister and a sadistic bully. Maybe they should see if there is something wrong with that mother.

I couldn't read the whole thing because there was too much pathology there. Where was the father?

Maybe I shouldn't comment as I'm not a professional. Lord have mercy is right.

[A_perfect_lady]

You know... I'm sorry, but... I read this and all I see are parents who just keep trying to figure out how to give these children whatever they want the moment they want it. How to appease them. And I'm not a psychiatrist, and someone will show up shortly to tell me that I don't know anything about it, and what have you.

But the fact is, my stepdad would have FLATTENED any kid who acted like that. And I can't help but think that no kid would act like that around him after that one time. I know I was kind of a brat when he came along, and one day I went too far and... well, the rest is a blur. But I sure never pulled any stunts again. Ditto my younger sister.

Well... I guess that's all I'll say about it.

[utherdoul]

“James took the pill. Then he closed the door to block out the sound of his sister. “You open this door, Claire, I’ll pull out something really sharp on you,” he said.”

I was a little asshole when I was a kid but if I’d said that to my little brother my dad would have beaten me senseless. It might not fix how screwed up this kid is but a belt and a sack of oranges would go a long way.

[WKL815]

Interesting info. I’m gung-ho for behavior modification and believe and teach my kids that our brains and biology belong to us, not vice versa.

But the absolute commitment and devotion that those parents show to those kids the article discusses is amazing. We can all shake our fingers and meet out our wisdom, but those parents also exemplify unconditional love. It is moving.

My prayers are with them.

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

Agreed. My mom was bipolar so I am familiar with the swings - a mad ascent into irrationality that would eventually require hospitalization followed by descent into darkest gloom. Never was there a hint of the behavior mentioned here. Sounds more like an extremely spoiled child who enjoys ruling the roost.

[beaversmom]

I met one of these rules the roost kids a few years back. It was a sight to behold. It was at a party at the house of a coworker of my husband. The co-owner of their place of employment showed up way late. His then 8 year old daughter looked mad. She had her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I watched as this man and his wife literally pleaded with her so they could stay at the party. He appeased her by setting the alarm on his watch to go off at a certain time—only a few minutes later—maybe 30 or so, and they would leave then. Well, when the time was up they left just like the little girl had insisted.

[BobbyT]

Problem solved:

http://www.guzer.com/videos/south_park_add.php

[fella]

I refuse to go to NYT site so I’ll just ask; Where’s Daddy?

[neverdem]

He’s there.

[fella]

Then at 10 years old it's almost to late to start but Dad needs to take control of his family warm that boys pants but good and repeat as necessary. When the idea that bad actions have consequences then he'll straighten right.

Some time in the Boy Scouts wouldn't hurt a bit either. Get him out of the city to see the real world so that he'll know what it is to be hot and cold and maybe even hungry.

[fella]

Then at 10 years old it's almost to late to start but Dad needs to take control of his family warm that boys pants but good and repeat as necessary. When the idea that bad actions have consequences sets in then he'll straighten right.

Some time in the Boy Scouts wouldn't hurt a bit either. Get him out of the city to see the real world so that he'll know what it is to be hot and cold and maybe even hungry.

[fella]

Then at 10 years old it's almost to late to start but Dad needs to take control of his family warm that boys pants but good and repeat as necessary. When the idea that bad actions have consequences sets in then he'll straighten right up.

Some time in the Boy Scouts wouldn't hurt a bit either. Get him out of the city to see the real world so that he'll know what it is to be hot and cold and maybe even hungry.

[singfreedom]

As a teacher who taught special education for 25 of the 35 years I taught, I really must agree—at least to an extent. During the time I was in graduate school, I vividly remember 2 of the most useful bits of advice I was ever given by professors. My Ed Psych professor, father of 6 children, told the class that “sometimes the best use of a psychology text was to apply it FIRMLY to the child's backside”. My Abnornal Psych professor told us that “one of the most important concepts children can learn is that behavior has consequences”.

There is no “special education world” for special needs children once they graduate from high school. The guiding precept must always be “how can I teach this child to fit into the real world”. How will they deal with bosses, co-workers, family, friends, neighbors? When they fly into a “rage”, in the real world, either the police, or a bigger stronger bar patron, will knock their block off. There are some behaviors that just cannot be tolerated, period—threatening to gut your little sister is one of them. Or threatening a parent.

Sometimes it's a not a bad thing for children to understand that their rages can provoke a controlled version of that emotion in their parents. It's the way human emotions work in the real world.

[Williams]

I’m reading many of the comments here, and many are not recognizing we’re talking about a serious mental illness, not just a spoiled kid. I’ve known families who were abused for generations by a bipolar. These folks can be sadistic, and they act out of a total sense of entitlement. In one case I know very well, the man had abused and alienated his entire family, including having abused his little sister when they were young. He had an endless series of stories about how he was such a great guy but for some strange reason all these people hated him.

In another case I know, a bipolar woman was telling people her brother in law was molesting his children. She thought that was a hilarious joke to play on him.

I’ve also read of bipolars killing family members.

To put it bluntly, they are seriously crazy and can be dangerous.

[neverdem]

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