Playing Twister with Vaseline (Palin)

Culture11 ^ | August 30, 2008 | Justin Hart

[Delacon]

The shocking pick of Sarah Palin yesterday has sent the political world spinning wildly.  The right is energized and the left is caught shorthanded flailing for anything that will stick. 

In fact, McCain's pick of Governer Palin has lathered the Presidential game of Twister with a nice coat of Vaseline.  Obama and Biden best be wary how they contort themselves here.  In the words of comedian Brian Regan: "Right foot red... BROKEN!  Left foot green... BROKEN."

Let's review the minefield that Team Obama/Biden must navigate with Palin on board.

• Palin has more executive experience than Obama himself (having run a company, a PTO, a town and then Alaska).
  
  • WARNING: Bring up the experience issue at your own peril. 
  • SAMPLE: "When Senator Obama started his first run for local office I was already a two-term mayor.  If you simply count the years of experience, I win, frankly."
     
• Palin has more direct military experience than Obama and Biden combined having served as Commander of the Alaskan National Guard:
  
  • WARNING: Don't fuss with military issues.  Be cautious around foreign affairs.
  • SAMPLE: "Alaska has a shared border with Canada and shared Islands with Russia.  Illinois and Deleware...mmm... not so much.  I've actually commanded hundreds of military volunteers in person not just from a DC hearing room."
     
• Palin is pro-life in ways that other just aren't.  Namely, the pro-life decision she made was real.
  
  • WARNING: Don't even bring up the word "abortion" around her
  • SAMPLE: "Since everybody's worried about my experience I'd like to know how Senator Biden might react if he were in my shoes.  Abortion isn't just some idealogical issue for me... I've had the face the very real decision.  So I ask you, Senator Biden, what would you do if your family faced a similar choice?"
     
• Palin solidifies the so-con vote by demonstrating unquestionable social conservative values (it doesn't hurt that she has 5 kids)
  
  • WARNING: Don't come even close to using motherhood as a leverage against her qualificaitons
  • SAMPLE: "I believe I've given birth to 5-times as many children as Sentaors Obama and Biden combined."
     
• Palin taps into the Hillary vote giving a voice to mothers and women across the country when Obama wouldn't even vet her.
  
  • WARNING: Don't imply that the Palin pick was just a play to women or even remotely hint at chauvinistic overtones
  • SAMPLE: "Are you saying that women shouldn't be excited about this opportunity?  Are you saying that there isn't a glass ceiling.
     
• Palin was a former sportscaster and journalist
  
  • WARNING TO THE PRESS: She's one of your own.
  • SAMPLE: "Hey George, like you, I've had a foot in politics and a foot in journalism.  My timing was just opposite of yours.  I realized that journalism is great and all but real change comes through sacrifice and service."
     
• Palin was a beauty pageant contestant so she could pay for school with the scholarship
  
  • WARNING TO NOW: Don't diss her pagaent story until you actually hear it
  • SAMPLE: "I entered the beauty pagaent because sports scholarships for women in the 1980s were almost unheard of. So sue me."
     
• Palin is a lifetime member of the NRA and use to hunt elk
  
  • WARNING: Biden, avoid your terrible history on the 2nd right amendment .

  • SAMPLE: "Like Senator Obama, I agree with and I'm proud of the recent Supreme Court decision.  I've been a hunter all my life.  In fact when my parents found out about Senator McCain's decision they were on a caribou hunting trip.  I think my dad is like many people in this country as he follows this heated debate: he said: 'I'd rather go moose hunting than be involved with politics.'  Sometimes, so would I."
    
    
    
• Palin fought corruption in an AK GOP party that was (and still is) full of it
  
  • WARNING: Careful around the "ethical" issues
  • SAMPLE: "Like Chicago politics, Alaska politics can sometimes get dirty.  In my case I fought my own party tooth and nail for substantive change.  I'll let voters decide what Barack Obama did in Chicago."
     
• She's a true outsider who's likable, young, articulate, devout, down to earth.
  
  • WARNING: Don't much about trying to stick the DC inexperience on her.
  • SAMPLE: "You know, some reporters were shocked and amazed that I have never appeared on any Sunday political talk shows.  I think many Americans would accord that as a medal of honor."
    

All of these items show serious head pounding variables that the Democrats and the liberal media must take into account.  But were' not done.  Consider also:

• Palin is a former union member, her spouse is still union member
• She knows the energy and oil issues like the back of her hand (or her husband's hand who actually worked on an oil rig)
• Palin has actually BEEN to the Alaska Wildlife Reserves
• Palin is a conservative environmentalist and outdoorsman who understands the issues well
• Palin owns one home
• Palin has left the MSM stammering to find information about her
• Palin has left the Obama campaign stammering to find information about her

• Palin can tell you what the price of milk is
• Palin cut costs across the board in Alaska
• Palin got rid of the "bridge to nowhere"
• Palin has put Biden back in a box
• The expectations game plays in her favor

Yes, she has a lot to prove on the national stage but she brings A LOT to the table that conservatives can get excited about.

[Delacon]

Loads of talk about her strengths and weaknesses out there. I liked this because it shows how hard it may be for the dems to come after her.

[NittanyLion]

Palin + Twister with Vaseline?

That headline is guaranteed to get this thread a lot of views...

[JessieHelmsJr]

ping

[sourcery]

Note: The slogan was originally posted to FR by Renfield. Islander7 created the graphic. I've merely taken the initiative in publicizing it. It's so good, it may well be the "Sore/Loserman" of the 2008 election.

[Nevadan]

excellent!

[RichInOC]

The very definition of a thread that’s useless without pictures.

[the invisib1e hand]

Playing Twister with Vaseline (Palin)

Why do you have to drag Barney Frank into this?

[Delacon]

Now now Nit. Such a purient imagination and on a Sunday even. ;)

[padre35]

That is pretty good, I loved the line about “I’ve had 5 times more children then Barack Obama or Joe Biden have”

Her reform of the Alaskan Republican Party really does stand out against machine Politicians like Biden and Obama.

[Mamzelle]

I’m still on my Palin high.

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

[50cal Smokepole]

Right. Isn't there a rule or something?

[roaddog727]

Dude.

I need a bunch of those bumper stickers right now!

They’re priceless. And Spot on to boot!

[Publius]

Why do you have to drag Barney Frank into this?

Barney and his friends play Twister with Crisco, not Vaseline. (Ahem, I read that somewhere.)

[PhilosopherStones]

I sent the original slogan off to Michelle Malkin in an e-mail this morning (with the appropriate notice of authorship) and a link to that thread.

Hopefully she’ll throw it on her site and give it wider publicity. Nice job on the graphics!

[admiral52]

The bumper sticker is utterly fantastic . . . what more needs to be said.

[Robert A Cook PE]

You forgot:

Palin ran a successful business (hands-on open water Alaskan salmon fishing) while raising a family.

Palin won the state basketball championship game with her last-second shot, while playing with a stress fracture.

Palin’s husband has won four Iron Dog long range races, and Palin has been coach for their kids’ hockey teams.

Palin is a successful big game hunter, and a “real owner” NRA member.

[fullchroma]

Out of the ballpark bump!

[Xenalyte]

>>Playing Twister with Vaseline<<

Finally, after YEARS on this forum, a thread about my favorite pastime!

[PhilosopherStones]

A minor point: mathematically, Palin has borne an infinitely greater number of children than Obama/Biden (technically, “NaN - Not a number” since you can’t divide by zero).

Better “borne 5 more children than Obama/Biden combined”.