The Silent Scream of the Asparagus: Get ready for 'plant rights.'

Weekly Standard ^ | 05/12/2008 | Wesley J. Smith

[rhema]

In today's society, the asparagus is more highly esteemed than this baby.

[djpg]

I love the phrase, “the plant community.”

[ClearCase_guy]

There is an old quote from the Nazi's (variously translated) that goes like this: "Whenever I hear the word 'culture', that's when I reach for my revolver."

Well, when I hear 'plant community', I get a similar urge.

[chainsaw]

What is making these nut cases come out of the woodwork. To think they are at the top of the food chain, to boot, boggles the mind.

If they believe what they are saying, we won’t have to worry - they won’t be with us very long.

We need more jokes about the Swiss and fewer about the Norwegians.

[Gorzaloon]

A "clear majority" of the panel adopted what it called a "biocentric" moral view, meaning that "living organisms should be considered morally for their own sake because they are alive."

The Aids Virus.

The Malaria Mosquito.

AB-Resistant Bacteria.

The Syphilis spirocete.

The Rabies Prion.

What ISN'T alive are the brains of these silly and pointless people.

They obviously have no productive purpose on this Earth, and should be humanely dispatched and fed to the daisies. Now.

[RouxStir]

I have a different view: Plants are robbing the planet of elementary resources and sequestering them as hydrocarbons and other organic matter. Eventually, there will be no more free oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, potassium, etc. I’m doing my part in recycling by burning hydrocarbons and eating hydrocarbons.

[Alas Babylon!]

The committee does not consider that genetic engineering of plants automatically falls into this category, but its majority view holds that it would if the genetic modification caused plants to "lose their independence"--for example by interfering with their capacity to reproduce.

Hybrid plants have been around for years; hybrids do not produce viable offspring--either their seeds are sterile or will not grow to the same properties of their parent. So, will the Swiss ban hybrids?

What about seedless watermelons, grapes, oranges, and other fruits? Ban?

This line of thinking is absolutely absurd!

[Larry R. Johnson]

I recently cut down a medium sized ash tree, but its screams were drowned out by the roar of the chain saw. Seriously, what would one call a group of people who swore off eating anything that was alive or ever was alive or came even remotely from anything alive?

[piytar]

“If they believe what they are saying, we won’t have to worry - they won’t be with us very long.”

Not true. As with all leftist elitists, they will do nothing that impacts their personal lifestyles, but will try to pass laws and regs that impact ours...

[Mr Ramsbotham]

Indeed, the most radical "deep ecologists" have grown so virulently misanthropic that Paul Watson, the head of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, called humans "the AIDS of the earth," requiring "radical invasive therapy" in order to reduce the population of the earth to under a billion.

Naturally, Paul Watson will be among the "under a billion."

[Mom MD]

dead by starvation

[csvset]

Luther Burbank, criminal? Messing with a plant's dignity !

[nina0113]

If they believe what they are saying, we won’t have to worry - they won’t be with us very long.

But they DON'T. They hold the simultaneous beliefs that there are too many people, and that war is bad. How exactly do they plan to get rid of all the excess people? Are we supposed to line up quietly for the camps?

[dirtstiff]

A Corpse.

[tips up]

This should be from Scrappleface...

[tennteacher]

Can I declare my Forest Pansy redbud as a tax deduction?

[Tax-chick]

Dead.

[Tax-chick]

Are we supposed to line up quietly for the camps?

Of course we are. I don't plan on it, myself, but you can bet that's what they expect.

[Renderofveils]

"Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me,
"These are the cries of the carrots,
the cries of the carrots.
You see, reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day
and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
like the tears of one millions terrified brothers
and roared,
"Hear me now,
I have seen the light,
they have a consciousness,
they have a life,
they have a soul.
damn you!
Let the rabbits wear glasses,
save our brothers...can I get an amen?
can I get a hallelujah? thank you, Jesus.

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on...
This is necessary.

- Tool, "Disgustipated"

Great satire of the vegan "movement."