[rock_lobsta]

Here’s the Cliffs Notes Version...

Our Constitution was written by racists who owned blacks as slaves - and is biased toward whites. All men created equal, my ass.

I am the genetic epitome of the multi-culturalism that our country should be. A nation of half-breeds, or blacks - no matter.

There are serious frequent flyer miles racked up at the Obama family reunion...

I condemn Rev. Wright’s hate speech (not really), but he only says that because of racism by whitey.

I’m so surprised that people have the audacity to think that I believe this... OOPS! Did I say that out loud? My bad...

Blacks hate you white people... because even after ending slavery, passing civil rights, giving us preferences for jobs, blah blah blah... because you whiteys are still racist. Except for the white college chicks that want to hit this...

Yeah, we’re ungrateful, now we want reparations and universal health care - because the free health care we already get SUCKS!

I went into this black church, and found people that hate whites as much as my racist grandmother (whom I have never forgiven) hated blacks.

However, I disagreed with eveything the pastor said.

For twenty years, a marriage, and two children raised in the church - but I digress...

Black churches are a Black thing, and whitey just don’t understand. Don’t these crackers know that only whites, conservatives, and radio talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh can be racists? Oh, crap... Is this a hot mic?

The racial hatred spread in whitey churches is just more nuanced. That talk of love, forgiveness and inclusion is just wack, yo.

My candidacy is proof that race still matters, and I’ve been milking both sides of the fence the whole time...

Bashing my pastor never fed a hungry child, housed a homeless person, or solved global warming - or anything else that Bush is at fault for. So LEAVE JERRY ALONE!

Ashley is this white college chick that wants to do me, and she fed her mom mustard and relish sandwiches. She’s still a racist white person - but shhhhh... don’t let her know...

Uhhhh... Hope & Change!

Thank You... Thank You... Thank You... THANK YOU... THANK YOU!!! CLAP DAMMIT!!!

[Madame Dufarge]

Excellent job, spot on.

[ClearCase_guy]

Nice job.

[Neverforget01]

Wow! well done!

[RobFromGa]

LOL!

[Palladin]

ROFL! I give your interpretation ten lobstah claws!

[KansasGirl]

That’s really funny...LOL.

[Palladin]

Oh, yeah...and is that the same Ashley who cried for Sanjaya? ;)

[Miss Didi]

TEN CLAWS FOR YOU!!!

[CatoRenasci]

Brutal, but pretty close to spot on!

[Canedawg]

#1302 very well done!

“I condemn Rev. Wright’s hate speech (not really), but he only says that because of racism by whitey.”

I feel sooooooo guilty...NOT!

[RDTF]

LMAO!

[Yaelle]

Hilarious!

[Truth29]

"Here?s the Cliffs Notes Version... Our Constitution was written by racists who owned blacks as slaves - and is biased toward whites. All men created equal, my ass. I am the genetic epitome of the multi-culturalism that our country should be. A nation of half-breeds, or blacks - no matter. There are serious frequent flyer miles racked up at the Obama family reunion... I condemn Rev. Wright?s hate speech (not really), but he only says that because of racism by whitey. I?m so surprised that people have the audacity to think that I believe this... OOPS! Did I say that out loud? My bad... Blacks hate you white people... because even after ending slavery, passing civil rights, giving us preferences for jobs, blah blah blah... because you whiteys are still racist. Except for the white college chicks that want to hit this... Yeah, we?re ungrateful, now we want reparations and universal health care - because the free health care we already get SUCKS! I went into this black church, and found people that hate whites as much as my racist grandmother (whom I have never forgiven) hated blacks. However, I disagreed with eveything the pastor said. For twenty years, a marriage, and two children raised in the church - but I digress... Black churches are a Black thing, and whitey just don?t understand. Don?t these crackers know that only whites, conservatives, and radio talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh can be racists? Oh, crap... Is this a hot mic? The racial hatred spread in whitey churches is just more nuanced. That talk of love, forgiveness and inclusion is just wack, yo. My candidacy is proof that race still matters, and I?ve been milking both sides of the fence the whole time... Bashing my pastor never fed a hungry child, housed a homeless person, or solved global warming - or anything else that Bush is at fault for. So LEAVE JERRY ALONE! Ashley is this white college chick that wants to do me, and she fed her mom mustard and relish sandwiches. She?s still a racist white person - but shhhhh... don?t let her know... Uhhhh... Hope & Change! Thank You... Thank You... Thank You... THANK YOU... THANK YOU!!! CLAP DAMMIT!!!"

Good Cliffs notes version, but an even shorter version would be: Whites are responsible for everything bad that has happened to blacks, even the way they think. I am the hope. Vote for me.

PS. We need to get past all of this nasty talk.