Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
Thanks bannie, I’m adding you to the ping list.
Oh, and no,
I’m off men for the rest of my life.....
I’m here more as lighthouse.
And he says, "It's just how you take it. I was just making suggestions."
YAY!
I’m also starting a dance buddies ping list,
seems there are more around than I realized at first.
Getting away from the seriousness of the subject--just for a minute--The first thing which seemed to attrace me was scent.
Go figger...
I swear I hear banjos..
Yes, would like to be in that list too...thanks!
SNORT!
What’s the old saying ‘You have to sleep sometime?’
This whole thread makes me puke. Mostly just a buncha unhappy whiners.
Two belches, one fart, one scratch...,four farts,one belch,one scratch...you know, similar to Morse code.
Hmmmm,
I have no sense of smell...so it is ah,
being witty...that’s what I notice first.
Second was teeth. (having their own was a real plus).
That’s not always an indicator of which side of the women/girls line they fall. I’ve met several 60-year-old “girls.” I do, however, think that staying stupid too long takes a lot of work and some amount of being enabled.
You have to ask Najida about that. It's not my list. I run the "Dogs are Athiests" ping list.
OK.
‘Bye.
I love being old!
Ditto here, I love full figured women, they are the best and the nicest!
I couldnt agree more.
If our positive times did not outweigh the bad times by a ratio of, something like 10X, it would suck.
I dont exect others to live as I do. I don’t judge. But, often I simply chuckle or just shake my head. Usually, it happens when i pay my brothers and sister.
There are some advantages to getting up there in years.
Shall I post the Sir Mix-a-Lot lyrics?
My lovely bride was going on about her ‘fat butt’ one day, so I started reciting that ...
Marry a woman who can’t speak and her father owns a liquor store.
Dae a woman who’s very short and has a flat head. There’s where you put the pizza and beer.
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