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The Chuckabee Facts ("Fact: Chuck Norris is so painful to watch that...")
idsnews.com ^ | 1/8/2008 | Chase Cooper

Posted on 01/08/2008 8:59:38 PM PST by DogByte6RER

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To: ElkGroveDan

“The rest of us though are not impressed, and quite frankly often bored by their cliche one-liners, predicatable physical feats, and other tedious antics.”

You nailed it. I watched a two part episode of Walker Texas Ranger on USA this morning dealing with illegal immigration. First time I have really watched the show. I told my son “It’s like watching a cartoon.” Tedious antics is an understatement. It’s as if he said “I made a pile of money using this formula decades ago, no reason to change a thing. I give as much importance to his endorsement as I would to an endorsement by all the living cast members of Hee Haw, in other words....not much. But hey, if people like Chuck, more power to ‘em. I agree with you, stardom does not mean they are expert on anything beyond acting.


61 posted on 01/08/2008 10:35:13 PM PST by Bogtrotter52 (Reading DU daily so you won't hafta)
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To: Soliton

“I just posted his immigration plan.”

Which immigration plan? You mean his plagiarism of the other candidate’s immigration plan? The guy is cutting and pasting ideas he blasted as wrong in the debate in November. Go figure.

Huckabee has been such a flipflopper on immigration you dont know where he stands today on it. He gone back and forth pro and con on amnesty about 3 times in his campaign.

POWERS: “And another issue that’s come up is that you had previously been lobbying President Bush to lift the embargo on Cuba. And then in a recent debate said the opposite. What changed?”

HUCKABEE: “What changed was I’m running for president.”

http://redstate.com/blogs/perico/2007/nov/29/is_this_the_slow_and_painful_death_of_the_republican_party_as_we_know_it#comment-576559


62 posted on 01/08/2008 10:37:16 PM PST by WOSG (angry old coot McCain has been a crazed and frequent backstabber of fellow Republicans)
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To: WOSG
He said Huckabee added about 10,000 state jobs, even as the number of federal jobs was decreasing.

This kind of thing was happening all over the nation. The federal government was offloading social programs to the states and creating new, unfunded mandates.

63 posted on 01/08/2008 10:39:10 PM PST by unspun (God save us from egos -- especially our own.)
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To: DogByte6RER

“Fact: Chuck Norris is such a bad actor that even Keanu Reeves flips the channel whenever he sees Chuck on TV.”

I’m glad to know someone else thinks Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor.


64 posted on 01/08/2008 10:39:16 PM PST by peggybac (Tolerance is the virtue of believing in nothing)
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To: Uncle Ivan

Mike Huckabee, not just a Whig, is a fully-formed Republican...

...whereas Fred Thompson takes the Democrat Stephen Douglas position on the fundamental topic of the Right to Life.


65 posted on 01/08/2008 10:41:31 PM PST by unspun (God save us from egos -- especially our own.)
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To: WOSG

I can lead you to water, but can’t make you drink.

God bless Fred and Duncan and Paul!


66 posted on 01/08/2008 10:48:03 PM PST by Soliton (Fred and Hunter and Paul is the only true conservative!!!!!!!)
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To: Bronco_Buster_FweetHyagh

you do know that his tears cure cancer, although he’s never cried....


67 posted on 01/08/2008 10:53:09 PM PST by Schwaeky (The Republic--Shall be reorganized into the first American EMPIRE, for a safe and secure Society!)
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To: Always A Marine

those things happen in cycles... When I was visiting there in August, the mood against his successor, Beebe, has soured, substantially.. The only conservatives in the state govt, however, are from NW Ark, the only district that remains in GOP hands....


68 posted on 01/08/2008 10:58:35 PM PST by Schwaeky (The Republic--Shall be reorganized into the first American EMPIRE, for a safe and secure Society!)
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To: unspun
Whereas Thompson's positions are solidly conservative, as well.

Your boy Huckabee is a complete and utter joke, and that's coming from an Arkansan.
69 posted on 01/08/2008 11:09:26 PM PST by Uncle Ivan (FredOn: Apply Directly to the White House)
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To: DogByte6RER

Chuck Norris would have supported Fred Thompson, but legal problems created a rift between them. Chuck had to sue the produced of Law & Order for trademark infringement, as those are the names of his left and right nuts.


70 posted on 01/08/2008 11:24:08 PM PST by Bronco_Buster_FweetHyagh
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To: WOSG; TheBattman
I'm pinging TheBattman - who is no fan of Huckabee - for fact-checking on my impression of the Lake View vs. Huckabee case.

"The Supreme Court doesn't raise taxes. It merely required equity in education."

The Chancery Court decision upheld by the Supreme Court stated: "The school funding system now in place in the State of Arkansas is inequitable and inadequate". You left out the inadequate part.

"Huckabee showed zero fiscal conservative leadership in response to the decision. He could have held the line on spending or gone another way than a large tax increase. HE DID NOT. He begged for a tax hike, got it, and signed it. And now he squeals like a stuck pig for his lack of leadership and lack of conservative cohones?!? pathetic!"

Huckabee agreed to consolidate some of the smaller school districts in the state to reduce administrative costs and hopefully improve the quality of education. That was an unpopular decision in some of those substandard districts, but it held the line on spending. But we can't keep cutting to the point where we have to drop math and science classes. If a tax increase was necessary to maintain a decent standard of education here, we'll do it.

After the decade-plus of litigation in the case, if the Supreme Court had found the funding to still be "inadequate" after the court-imposed deadline, Huckabee would have been found in contempt, and it was possible that the public school system could have been shut down statewide.

Compounding the troubles, the legislature here is controlled by Democrats. That is the ground-truth political reality here. If they'd had their way, the tax increases could have been much larger.

Huckabee had virtually no choice after the decison in the Lake View lawsuit was upheld. It was either increase the tax for school funding, or be found in contempt of the supreme court and risk a shutdown of the schools. He made the only rational choice.

71 posted on 01/08/2008 11:33:54 PM PST by HAL9000 (Fred Thompson/Mike Huckabee 2008)
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To: DogByte6RER

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t screw with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Chuck Norris’ wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, “don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.


72 posted on 01/09/2008 3:41:27 AM PST by mirkwood (Thompson/Hunter 08)
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To: AnalogReigns

For the record, I’m still sitting on the fence.

I’m not part of anyone’s campaign...

I will most likely vote for Duncan Hunter because he comes closest to reflecting my political strain (even though I know he has a snow ball’s chance in hell.)

Anyways...I look at the primaries as a vote of conscience, and right now Duncan Hunter is the one I like best.

With all of the RINOs running, I don’t know who would be my second pick.


73 posted on 01/09/2008 4:54:01 AM PST by DogByte6RER ("Loose lips sink ships")
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To: HAL9000

OH boy.....

The whole problem with the court case mentioned - that the only terminology used related to money was that the funding SYSTEM was inequitable and inadequate. This after decades of the “poorest” schools getting extra funding and getting ZERO positive results (well duh - some of the poorest schools, including Lake View - which no longer exists because of consolidation were among those schools).

One of the major factors in interpreting the “inequitable and inadequate” language is to put it all in context. But there really isn’t time to go deeply into this subject right at the moment (I trying to get ready to head to work), but the court decision was not really correct (but that isn’t the current argument). The Little Rock and Pulaski County schools have basically been hung up in Federal courts since the desegregation mess back in the late 50’s. Because of all the millions of dollars in attorney fees and court mandates in those cases - these two districts received nearly double the funding per-student as every other school in the state. This actually played somewhat heavily in the Lake View case - While Lake View received more state funding per-student than several other schools, they saw the inequitable nature of that funding vs. the funding for students in Pulaski County. This was further evident in the fact that Pulaski County schools have a MUCH larger and more valuable tax base for property tax income than the LakeView area.

But back to the case in question - The court never defined what it meant by “inequitable” or “inadequate”, it just said “fix it”. Huckabee automatically assumed that the answer was more money. HE did push through legislation that forced the consolidation of some of the smallest schools - while ignoring the fact that the overall savings would not be seen because of the cost of adding those students to already full neighboring schools who would have to undergo building programs to absorb those students... Only some schools were consolidated, with most of the faculties retained at the new district... thus not saving the fortune implied.

At the time of the Lake View decision and attempts to meet the mandates - Arkansas’s budget was already starting to turn to a surplus.

Also keep in mind that the video that has circulated the internet of Huckabee begging the legislature for ANY tax increase they would pass - was BEFORE the Lakeview case. It was at a time when state spending was just out pacing incoming tax revenues. His answer - raise taxes to meet the constitutional mandate of a balanced state budget. I don’t recall any serious efforts to cut spending waste or to trim state budgets in any meaningful way - just tax increases.

The state funding of schools has not actually changed all that much. There is more money, thus teachers in most districts received somewhat of a raise (although the “wealthier” districts still have VASTLY higher salary scales than the “poorer” schools - one of the measurements used by the court in the first place).

The path of tax increases was the one of least resistance. Instead of making hard budgetary decisions, the road chosen was one of raising taxes yet again.

Math and Science classes were not being dropped - nor were they in danger of such cuts. In fact, the funding scheme also included massive changes to the mandatory course offerings of schools - requiring many more elective classes, advanced sciences and math classes, language classes, and more AP courses. This actually had the effect of needing MORE teachers... that doesn’t save money.

The school systems statewide were in no danger of being shut down because of this court case. The absolute worse-case scenario - the courts would have mandated actions to take and held the Governor in contempt. I personally know one of the “special masters” that were appointed by the court to oversee compliance.

Poor performing schools are still poor performing schools.

Keep in mind also that, as a public school teacher, I directly benefited from the increased funding (salary). While thankful for the bit of a raise, I did not agree that the tax increases were the best option.

And yes - we live in a state that is run by a legislature filled with tax-loving Democrats.

But overall - the Lakeview case was a decision on race and other demographics - that really had no business in the courts in the first place. But because it WAS in the courts - something had to be done. The question is only then if raising taxes and increasing funding for schools was the best answer - and are we getting our “money’s worth”...

The one proposal that was put forward at the time of this mess that I actually agreed with was canned - it would have completely rebuilt the way schools in Arkansas are run. The proposal was to basically fire the entire Arkansas Department of Education and start over with a new administration. I actually believe this would have had a more positive effect on the schools than any of the other actions actually taken.

And of course - no-one asked the teachers actually in the classrooms what was necessary. A surprisingly large number would not have said “more money” - but would have mirrored the need for a radical change in administration of schools from the top down.


74 posted on 01/09/2008 5:12:09 AM PST by TheBattman (LORD God, please help us to elect a Godly and patriotic man for President in 08, Amen.)
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To: GovernmentIsTheProblem
Sadly I predict that if he becomes the nominee, 80% of FReepers will turn pro-Huckster and all these points will be forgotten.

I am NOT going to vote for Huckabee under any circumstances.

75 posted on 01/09/2008 5:12:52 AM PST by lonestar
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To: DogByte6RER

Good morning Campers!

I’m your Uncle Chucky
And I welcome you to Hucky’s Holiday Camp
The camp with the difference
Nevermind the weather
When you come to Hucky’s
The holiday’s forever
Bwahahahahahaha!

Welcome...


76 posted on 01/09/2008 6:46:42 AM PST by LRS (It's time to put Hillary on the 3:10 to Yuma...)
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To: fieldmarshaldj
Please list all the Republicans that Huckster helped elect to office in Arkansas. Start with Governor.

Replace "Huckster" in that sentence with "Flip Romney" and you get the same result. Worse, because there were 30,000 fewer Republicans in Massachusetts after Flip left office.
77 posted on 01/09/2008 6:48:52 AM PST by Antoninus (If you want the national GOP to look more like the Massachusetts GOP, vote for Flip Romney)
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To: AnalogReigns

Did it ever occur to you that many of us do not want either?

Stop the whining. Take your religious battles elsewhere.

Most of us are sick of it. Really sick of it.


78 posted on 01/09/2008 6:53:59 AM PST by dforest (Duncan Hunter is the best hope we have on both fronts.)
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To: HAL9000

“But we can’t keep cutting to the point where we have to drop math and science classes. If a tax increase was necessary to maintain a decent standard of education here, we’ll do it.”

this is a non-sequitor. Having seen this same game played out in other states, its clear you are making excuses for tax hikes. The same excuses and games the educrats always use, they need more tax hikes or education will fail, even though costs per child in education are quite high already, even though less than 60% of funding in education actually ends up in the classroom. And even though there are other ways to fix these problems - IF YOU ARE A FISCAL CONSERVATIVE. Mike Huckabee was rewarded for the path he took with an NEA endorsement, a non-conservative path.

“Compounding the troubles, the legislature here is controlled by Democrats. That is the ground-truth political reality here.” It sounds like the Governor’s office was as well. I don’t recall you defending Mitt Romney when he got blamed for what a court did or what the liberal Democrats in Mass forced on the state. Curious double-standard, that.

But this kind of budget-busting nonsense goes on all the time, and we need leaders who can stop it ... Look Sen DeMint’s latest report... know we wont have a friend in Huckabee on the issue, since he showed a lack of leadership in Arkansas. Who will hold the line on spending in DC? Not Huckabee, for sure.


It’s been a bittersweet winter in Washington. While Republicans were able to secure some vastly needed funding for our troops serving in Afghanistan and Iraq, we failed to block an omnibus spending bill containing over 11,000 earmarks.

Democrats kicked off December threatening to pull funding from the brave men and women serving in the armed forces. We responded by writing a letter to Secretary of Defense Robert Gates asking him to use his authority to redirect over 2,000 earmarks accounting for over $5 billion in unnecessary pork barrel spending to our troops serving overseas.

I then presented a plan to Congress that would save you, the taxpayer, $31 Billion by passing a continuing resolution rather than an omnibus bill bloated with earmarks.

Robert Bluey from the Heritage Foundation wrote this on his blog:
“DeMint’s idea goes back to the end-game strategy that Republicans successfully employed last year after November’s disastrous elections. Rather than try to push through appropriations bills in a hostile Congress, the GOP instead reauthorized funding at fiscal 2006 levels. That meant spending was held in check and pork-barrel projects were cut dramatically.

“Following that same strategy this year would save taxpayers $31 billion — the amount of new Democrat spending and earmarks...

“...DeMint’s idea should appeal to conservatives for several reasons. First of all, it locks in spending that was set by Republicans when they controlled Congress. Secondly, it prevents the Democrats from realigning the federal government to suit their interests through the creation of new programs and additional funding. And finally, it would constrain earmarks, which would grow substantially in an omnibus.”
I thought there might be a light at the end of the tunnel when the House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey (D-Ill) said even he wanted to pass a continuing resolution rather than a bloated omnibus spending bill.

Unfortunately my new found optimism gave way to the harsh reality of Washington’s Congressional Favor-Factory when Congress passed the omnibus budget, which was signed by President Bush. But our President was not pleased with the massive number of unnecessary pork barrel projects saying, “I am disappointed in the way the Congress compiled this legislation, including abandoning the goal I set early this year to reduce the number and cost of earmarks by half,” Bush said in a statement. “These projects are not funded through a merit-based process and provide a vehicle for wasteful government spending.”

While those of us fighting for fiscal responsibility may have suffered a defeat, I refuse to give up. Change will only occur if we continue to fight the status quo in Washington. I look forward to keeping you up to date on our progress, and hope you will get involved in our efforts. Change begins with us.


79 posted on 01/09/2008 7:26:09 AM PST by WOSG (angry old coot McCain has been a crazed and frequent backstabber of fellow Republicans)
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To: webschooner

Well said.


80 posted on 01/09/2008 7:27:09 AM PST by WOSG (angry old coot McCain has been a crazed and frequent backstabber of fellow Republicans)
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