Posted on 10/31/2007 11:58:37 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
Somebody should tell teenage girls that a high school homecoming is no place for a Carmen Electra lap dance.
And by somebody, I don't mean the stodgy Argyle school superintendent.
High school girls themselves should tell one another to turn around. Stop grinding. Make the boys look up.
Parents should demand it.
If you think I'm just old and out of touch with teenagers -- ask a counselor.
In all the reams of news coverage about Argyle High School's crackdown on "dirty dancing" and its homecoming-night cleavage ban, I have yet to see anyone ask a counselor whether rumped-up dancing is psychologically healthy for girls.
So I asked.
"This is all about wanting to be noticed, and boys definitely notice," said Carolyn Kern, a University of North Texas associate professor and director of the school's successful Counseling and Human Development Center.
"But provocative dancing isn't going to get these girls what they really want. They get attention. But they want an emotional connection."
That doesn't happen with your backside turned.
The flap about Argyle's homecoming dance has now stretched across three weeks.
New Superintendent Jason Ceyanes, 34, a straight-arrow type from an ultraconservative Houston suburb, has apologized for a surprise dance-night crackdown against spaghetti-strap dresses and plunging necklines.
But he still says he might "bring in dance instructors" to teach students other dances -- perhaps the foxtrot.
After two public meetings -- including a special trustees' meeting Monday -- school officials now promise to let parents help revise the dress code by Nov. 9. In other words, school officials are listening.
But some parents, and even one local newspaper, also seem to think Argyle officials should quit worrying about the "freak dancing" or "dirty dancing" that was interrupted at the homecoming dance.
In an editorial, the Denton Record-Chronicle wrote that schoolteachers shouldn't have to worry about whether teenagers "shake too much booty" and generally made it sound as if adults were wasting their time policing dances.
Look, I don't think Ceyanes' idea will work. I don't think teenagers want to learn the waltz. (Maybe the cha-cha.)
But I also don't think parents and school officials can just let every school dance turn into tuxed-up Greco-Roman wrestling.
And if some parents think low, hip-grinding dances are OK for high school seniors, then what age is too young?
Sophomores? Middle school? The Little Miss Argyle pageant?
The Argyle dispute "is a picture of what's going on today in society," Kern said.
"We're struggling to define what's OK for young people and at what age," she said. "A lot of research says that adolescents aren't emotionally ready to be sexually active, from a psychological perspective. But here they are, and we're left struggling over where to set boundaries."
What's fun -- and what's hurtful?
Unlike some national experts, Kern didn't go so far as to say that suggestive dancing is particularly demeaning to women or that it reduces teenage girls to faceless, twistable toys for boys.
But she did say that girls risk more.
"They don't realize that they're sending the message, 'This is what I want.' They might have to explain later that it's not what they want. That explanation might not be easy."
Argyle school board President Debbie Cantrell, a doctor, has defended students. They're not "dirty," she said, and she wishes we wouldn't describe the dances that way.
"We have some very good, intelligent young adults who stood up at our meetings and said, 'We don't know any other way to dance,'" she said.
All they have to do is turn around.
But I'm sure you know Argyle - which is, after all, where this is going on - is not.
It's a would-be upscale community, with plenty of rather expensive homes and a very nice high school.
From what I've seen on the news and read in the paper, however, many of the mothers of the girls going to school there must be ex-hookers or lap-dancers recently moved from down in Dallas.
At least that's how they're expecting their daughters to act.
When my son reaches dating age - in just a couple or three years - I'll warn him to steer clear of the sluts in Argyle.
Dads,
You are the first man your daughter will ever fall in love with. She will learn how to expect to be treated from how you treat her and your wife. Ignore her and she will learn that sex will get the attention she craves from you from the boys around her.
It would be easier than that. Just not allow rap music.
Don’t worry about it too much. Some folks are anti-social and not know it...
“One night I realized that everything I had told her, and how I had helped raise her to be independent and have respect for herself had sunk in. I got a call about 10:30 from her needing me to come pick her up. Evidentially, the young man she had been with wanted a little more than just a movie. She knocked two of his teeth loose and walked out of the theater. That’s where I picked her up.”
Congratulations on raising a fine daughter. I won’t ask where you buried the young man’s body.
What kind of Llamas are these? Commanche, M-82, the Minimax or the Max-I?
I believe they are Dolly Llamas.
My oldest is almost 3. She’ll be a blackbelt by 7. Daddy’s an instructor, and sees huge potential (her snapkick is better than many colorbelts already).
Yet, I hope she never encounters a situation like you described, nor, as you said, runs into someone like I was.
I didn’t bury him, but I did let him know I have a 00 buck shell with his name on it if I ever see him near the house again.
Sorry. That’s not enough. Banning the rap just creates a vacuum. You have to fill it with something. “Dancing” (dry-humping in groups of two or more doesn’t qualify) isn’t a big part of our culture ... most kids don’t know how to do it. They’re not stupid. Teach ‘em and they’ll learn.
I don’t know what to do Redbob. We are planning to homeschool or send our daughter to the church’s school, keep control over TV and movies and hope for the best. I can’t believe the boy toys that girls are openly and shamelessly making themselves into lately. Very foolish.
Says Carolyn Kern, a University of North Texas associate professor and director of the school's successful Counseling and Human Development Center.
Well, Gee Whiz, Ms. Kern. You don't suppose you should've asked that question a few years ago when you probably approved the "Fisting - 101" classes, do you? Get real. Your hind sight is worse than your foresight.
It's not easy, but talking beats yelling or dictating. If she knows you will TALK about things and let her speak her mind, it will help her listen when you say something important.
Sorry, a seven year old blackbelt just isn’t intimidating.
Is that the old I did it so it’s OK excuse?
How about an 18 year old blackbelt, who has been one since age 7?
And she better not be dating... :)
No, the idea is that by the time she’s a teenager, she’ll be well capable of defending herself.
What a gal....You must be a beaming dad...
No girl will ever get more respect than she demands.
Good news for you if you are ever stationed at Fort Knox. We offer adult dance lessons and ALSO dance lessons for teens that are free (waltz, cha-cha, etc.)
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