Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
"afterall, he may have some redeemable qualities you don't know about"
You're right...I only have to go by what I know....he doesn't have a job..(doesn't care)...he doesn't have a religion...and told her he was interested in another woman after only two months of marriage. If you think those are good qualities, well, then I guess I was wrong in judging him.
I blame women. They start rehearsing their wedding since birth.
I won't even answer. You have proven you are incapable of a reasonable debate.
Would attending please God?
"What a dumb example."
You know, I have worked with many gays over the years, and not one of them ever called me, or one of my remarks "dumb." Obviously, they were more ethical and more kind than you.
Go
Of course you should go.
Put aside any petty difference over the "gaY" issue and be there for your cousin.
Family first.
No.
Say something important came up - Like your sock drawer needs rearranging that day. (kidding about this part)
I think you are doing the right thing.
It's his cousin you smartass. That's family ill or will. You might not approve of gay weddings (I don't and most here don't either). As far as i am concerned the 'wedding' is a sham. Not sanctioned by the church and not recognized by any authority. They can call it what they want. By going to the reception he is not 'celebrating' the wedding in fact by not attending the wedding, he is sending the message that he doesn't approve it and furthermore put the onus on his cousin to disinvite him in attending the reception.
You go ahead and stand guard for the rest of us.
What amazes me is how quickly most here jump to a decision. I think I'd want to take a few days to think, ponder, possibly pray. I'm initially conflicted, not sure what I'd do. We are taught to "love the sinner, not the sin"....which would seem to suggest that you should go. OTOH, marriage is a sacrement..though not "specifically" when not done in the Church..so does going in some way condone the sin?
Another question to ask yourself: If it wasn't for the fact that this was my cousin and very close and dear lifetime friend, would you go? Probably not, I'd surmise from your comments. Therefore, does going in this case make you somewhat hypocritical? Possibly so, but it's only important how you feel about it, and yourself, in this one instance. IOW, if it was a distant relative, or a business associate, I gather you wouldn't attend.
I think, all in all, that you've made a decision that you're comfortable with, moreso since your wife agrees with you, and that you should just go, and go along..
I too, found the results of this thread interesting.
I didn't imply that you made a snap judgement. I said that others did..they were so quick to decide..
I know what you ment.....I was just saying.....
Go to the wedding. There are plenty of heterosexual weddings I've attended and didn't approve of either.
But family is family, go and have a great time.
The problem, as I see it, is we've been desensitized in so many, many ways. Because of this, doing the right thing or even mentioning it will make us look like we're from another planet to some people. In all things I am a Christian first, so in that sense coming across as if I'm from another planet doesn't bother me because of what the Bible says in regards to those who belong to Christ. If you're not a Christian then this won't make as much sense to you.
If we were to attend, what would we tell our two boys? They certainly wouldn't go with us. From the sound of it you don't have children so you may not have to think along these lines, but we certainly have to. Our boys are too young to know anything about homosexuals or homosexuality. But when we do introduce the subject and tell them what we believe, when they find out we attended a same-sex wedding they'll immediately see a double standard.
We live what we say we believe. Sometimes that means taking a stand very few are willing to take themselves.
Because you asked, for the reasons stated above and other reasons not listed, we could not, in good conscience, attend a same-sex wedding, family or not.
Yes, I'd go. It's interesting to me to see people referencing Jesus in explaning why they wouldn't go. Jesus hung out with prostitutes and thieves. He wasn't really all that picky.
I did not go to my sister's wedding to a non-Jew and she did not come to any of my kids' Jewish weddings, so, no, I would not go to my cousin's "gay" wedding. In fact none of my cousins would even invite me.
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