Posted on 03/08/2007 7:04:09 AM PST by meg88
Were you with your second wife while still married to the first? That is what we are talking about here. Adultery is wrong, if you are that unhappy, just get divorced. If Giuliani had divorced prior to meeting Ms. Nathan, I don't think that the same hostility would be there.
In Rudy's case, that's the first two wives, although the kids are Hanover's.
Husdands take heed. Children are around for 20+ years. Your wife should be with you for life. Kids aren't above everything in consideration of their feelings.
Oh please...
In NYState the rule of law is "moms can do no wrong and dads can do no right or pay enough child support"
NY State Judge John O'Donnell will even ignore the courts own doctors medical evaluation and give children to a diagnosed psychopath mother who neglected them to the point of hospitalization DURING THE TRIAL, despite about two dozen witnesses against the mother and none against the father AND a previous history of abuse and neglect (on the mothers part) where her other children were taken away from her by child "protective" services.
My husband is still mad at his parents for getting divorced. They screwed up his life, and basically ignored their kids. Their daughter got pregnant at 15, and they let her get married. Their other son ran away from home, never finished high school, and is basically a bum.
My husband didn't screw up himself. He put himself through college and has done well for himself, but he doesn't have happy childhood memories like I have. His family can never all get together like mine.
It's a sucky situation that could have been avoided.
I am not raging, just stating the fact I think that it is very selfish for an adult child to say that, particularly over a widowed parent.
I have stepgrandkids (I'm the only grandma they ever knew, their REAL one committed suicide long before they were born),and they were 4, eight, and 14 when their father died with leukemia.
I am taking care of their sick Grandpa now. When their Dad died the oldest asked me "Grandma, if something ever happened to Grandpa would you still be our grandma? Where would you live? You'll have to come and live with us so we could take care of you." I have no birth children, but have been married to their grandpa for 20 years, and adore my grandchildren.
There's always two sides to every story.
It is a good thing your children have both parents and a stable home. I wish all families could be like that. But often that is not the way it is.
I think Jesus taught a few things about being judgemental. Remember Mary Magdeline?
Funny comment when we're discussing wife #3 already. Odds are the kids will be around longer than #3.
If you read about it, step-parents from households where there is a death usually do better. In fact, children from households where a parent has died usually aren't as screwed up as kids from divorced parents.
Dying isn't a choice, and I think kids can accept that better.
It's certainly not the kids that are wrong.
Dr. Laura thinks that people shouldn't get remarried after a divorce if there are kids. She thinks no matter what the kid will get screwed up even worse than the original divorce.
My husband's parents are divorced and I tend to agree with her.
Except Rudy has now done this twice. His first wife was a second cousin. He tried to get that one annulled on the grounds he didn't know that fact. He may or may not have been seeing the soon to be wife number two at the time [don't remember]. When the annulment didn't fly, he divorced her.
During marriage number two, there were persistent rumors that Rudy was getting it on with a woman on his staff. She eventually left Gracie Mansion. Rudy then announce he would be seeking a divorce at a press conference, I don't believe he'd mentioned it to the wife. He was, apparently, seeing soon to be wife number three while still married to wife number two.
Hanover, who was a newscaster, largely gave up her career after Rudy became Mayor [she did some acting, "Law and Order", etc.]. She worked on his campaigns. She raised the kids. Could she have been a flake? Sure. But Rudy's got a pattern here. And he's admitted estrangement from his son [who was at Yankee Stadium with him almost every game]. So it probably wasn't Mom's fault.
the lack of judgmentalism has led to a values-free society where no one is right and no one is wrong and we are seeing the fruits of that every day. there are going to be divorces that are warranted, but far too many result from selfish parents who are more interested in their own fulfillment than in their children's welfare. your situation is very different. my kids see their friends dealing with divorced parents dating and dragging a parade of different partners through their lives and are horrified by it. that is THEIR perspective.
You have a point when you get to wife#3. At the same time, kids are kids ... they can shut up and deal with it.
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At the same time, kids are kids ... they can shut up and deal with it.
The parents are supposed to be the mature ones capable of dealing with it. Rudy has an obligation to provide a safe and stable home for his children to grow up in. You can't blame the kids for having problems when the parents act like spoiled brats.
exactly. with attitudes like that, is it any wonder that the kids grow up to discipline problems, or worse.
The Children were there before you were.
They are in this world because of him.
Be a class act, don't throw a pity party, and encourage your husband to go.
Be the Adult.
Were his kids ever in danger? nope.
Were his kids ever denied the necessities for growing up? Nope.
I'd call that pretty safe and stable.
Kids do not get veto or voting rights on adults' sex lives.
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