Do not be alarmed; Miami isn't so weird

Miami Herald ^ | January 28, 2007 | DAVE BARRY

[ConservativeStatement]

Welcome to Miami, Super Bowl visitors! You are going to have a wonderful time, from the moment you arrive in our magical city, until the moment you discover that your wallet is missing.

I'm kidding! You'll be fine, probably! Because the truth is that Miami is a terrific place, despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.

[1rudeboy]

Back in November, Rep. Tancredo, who represents suburban Denver, ruffled some feathers down here when he called Miami ``a third-world country.''
For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country.

woot

[ConservativeStatement]

I lived in Miami in the early 80s. Some of what Barry wrote, especially the driving, is true but I doubt it is limited to Miami.

[Fairview]

So from this we see that Barry is not only a liberal, but perhaps the only liberal in America with a sense of humor. Unfortunately like most liberals he has to become mean-spirited and personal. I'm disappointed.

[ConservativeStatement]

Liberals tend to isolate themselves and preach from an Ivory Tower.

[Condor51]

Huh?

Dave Barry writes an article ripping into Tancredo for calling Miami a Third World Country, then proceeds to rip into Miami for being --- a Third World Country.

Oh well, color me confused.

(BTW, I thought Barry 'retired' a few years back???)

[Maneesh]

Can we not make everything a liberal / conservative issue. I am as right wing as they come but Miami is a spectacular place once you get there. A simple walk on Ocean Dr in South Beach makes the trip worthwhile. Great weather, the best looking girls in America and some great food. If you are fortunate enough to be in Miami for Super Bowl it promises to be the biggest party in the country and the Cuban / Spanish influence ensures great music and fun to be had for all. And Joe's Stone Crab is worth the wait, the crab legs are the best I've ever had and I live in New England.

[wku man]

To Dave Barry:

YES IT IS!!!!!

Now Idaho...here's a place that isn't weird. But that reason alone is enough for the oh-so cosmopolitan, metrosexual, trendy crowd to think we are weird. Oh well...if it keeps 'em out, so much the better.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

[1rudeboy]

That's why this "article" is called satire.

[Obie Wan]

Miami's had a ton Super Bowls and Denver hasn't had any so apparently that makes Tancredo an idiot for stating the obvious.Gee Davie boy you think maybe there's a chance it's the warm weather and the awesome beaches more so then the local inhabitants that make it a prime spot for the Super Bowl !!!

[Fairview]

Can we not make everything a liberal / conservative issue. I am as right wing as they come but Miami is a spectacular place once you get there.

I know what Miami is like; I'm there frequently and I do love it. Just got back, in fact. But did you read the article? It was pretty funny, but every other sentence nastily insulted Tom Tancredo for what Barry called his "xenophobic" views.

[Beagle8U]

"And Joe's Stone Crab is worth the wait, the crab legs are the best I've ever had and I live in New England."

The best crab legs ( Alaskan king crab ) I ever ate was at the UAW compound/training center at Black Lake in northern Mi.
They had a team of professional chefs that cooked everything and all the fruit/vegetables were flown in fresh daily.

The crab was even split along the shell so you didn't have to crack them.

The place was full of Communists being indoctrinated but the food was better than any restaurant I have ever eaten in.

( everything was also free except to the morons that paid dues to support the lavish lifestyle of officers)

[robertpaulsen]

``¿Dónde está el Rep. Tancredo?'' (``Where is the toilet?'')"

Now that was funny.

[Condor51]

I know its satire, that's what Barry does.

But Barry is confirming exactly what Tom said about Miami.

despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.

For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country.

`¿Dónde está el Rep. Tancredo?'' (``Where is the toilet?'')

``Salga de mi camino, usted Rep. Tancredo.'' (``Get out of my way, you stupid idiot.'')

`No dispare, por favor.'' (``Please do not shoot.'')

First off, you do NOT simply walk up and hand him money like some clueless tourist dork (or, as we call them down here, ``Tancredo'').

The Tancredo slams are out of place and mean spirited. Something a Dem would come up with, "Yeah it's a Hell hole, but its our Hell hole, so you shut up".

[Old_Mil]

Miami is a third world hell hole. Spent a couple of years there and kept moving north and lengthening my commute. Still, there are certain things that you can't simply say in public if you're running for president.

[Sam Cree]

Barry is not a liberal, he's a libertarian. Big difference.

[jiggyboy]

every other sentence nastily insulted Tom Tancredo

The frequency and randomness of the references is sufficient for a clinical diagnosis of obsession.

[Beagle8U]

"Barry is not a liberal, he's a libertarian. Big difference."

Libertarian = liberal that likes guns but doesn't want to pay taxes. / sarc.

[Maneesh]

I'll take your word for it but looks the place would be off limits to non UAW people like me. Even if the food was better in Northern MI, the visual treats and ambiance was far better at Joe's Stone Crab and I know you will agree with that. I have had some great food at Communist run places in San Francisco,Boston, New York and LA and just like my entertainment have learnt to tolerate the politics of the creators otherwise I could only eat at home and never watch any movies or listen to music !

[FreeManWhoCan]

Miami is the best.. it clean and beautiful. The people who bash it are usually stuck in the some horrible backward intolerant part of the country where its either cold or there is no ocean. Most people can only 'wish' they lived in Miami.