"Lucas must have hired some real winners"
Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to get it to leak oil!
A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...
Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."
"Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck."
Outstanding! Thanks for the post!
ROFLMAO!
I lived it.
Eight years/
With my MGB.
Year-round.
Maine.
The repair bill I got recently for my Dodge, which is on life support in the shop, is truly scary.
"All of the parts falling from this automobile are of the finest English woirkmanship"
That is some funny stuff...
Lucas - Prince of Darkness
I say, Minion of the Prince of Darkness - why no keyboard alert? So many Lucas jokes and no warning - perhaps you are a CompUSA stockholder.
Having laughed at all of your posts, I must add that I used two Land/Rover 109 Safari Wagons at the Institute for years. Thousands of people rode in them and the only time one came home on the end of a rope was when a distributor rotor broke.
Happily, it was back in service after lunch.
;-)
Jeeps are just famous. Land/Rovers are legendary!
You know I used to think Lucas made total crap, until I started working on VWs. Bosch gives Lucas something to step in.
Bad news. I bought a '63 MGB.
Bad news. Four weeks after I got it, I had an electrical fire that burned up half the wiring.
Very, very GOOD news. Some buddies of mine in the Aviation Electronics School and I rewired the entire car....to Grumman specs.
No more Prince of Darkness attacks, but I sure got some strange looks from the mechanics at the dealership when I traded the thing off for my next car.
Myself, a former MG Midget and MGB-GT owner, learned very quickly about coils, solenoids, etc. But, at that time, my Midget got 40 mph and I would spend $2 on gas per week.
Terrific... Ribs hurting with laughter... My experiences entirely. Throw in some damp UK weather and you get it all in Spades!!
Remember also that in the UK - not that long ago - 6 volt electrics were not uncommon. 6V headlamps were a marginal improvment on acetylene lamps....sort of orange glow...
I also heard that you could never get lost in a Landrover - just follow the oil slick on the way back home...
LOL