Thanks for your honesty. My brother is doing the ex-pat thing in Beijing. He's a bright, experienced guy and realizes that some differences are too large and complex to be truly grasped. He stopped trying to understand them a while ago and is now focused strictly on enjoying those differences while chasing the gold.
"He stopped trying to understand them a while ago and is now focused strictly on enjoying those differences while chasing the gold."
One of my pet theories: you can't "understand" them unless you are them. There's just too much cultural noise to absorb (them) and overcome (us).