Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.
Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.
Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]
Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.
In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.
On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)
Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”
Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.
Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .
Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”
But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.
Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?
And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?
Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]
Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”
One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.
So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.
Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.
It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?
It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.
But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.
So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.
LOLz
You want a woman, look at her mother. (under normal circumstances.) Women, look at his dad.
Perfect post...works 98% of the time.
Erm, so, you like you dates to be non-conversational drinking binges and/or 'orgies' ? While that was a blast when I was in college, a meaningful relationship is achieved through intellectual challenge and compatibility on that level.
dang, where were you rousing me??? i missed it!!! ; )
I just wish that my mom's friends would stop throwing their daughters at me. I mean, I'm just walking down the street, and it's like, "INCOMING!" And next thing I know, I'm calling an ambulance for yet another poor girl whose mother trebuchet'd her at me, and who hit the ground and rolled for a few yards as a result. That sort of thing just isn't safe.
You make a good point. I think the sad part today is the BS thinking that a person needs to be financially set to get married. In the old days many men married decent women that knew they were starting out together poor and were fine with that. It wasn't about money and security it was about love, commitment, building something larger then themselves together over time.
The poor times of our lives can be the most lovely, resourceful, creative, and rewarding in a relationship.
The world sells a world of goods when they say we should have money. Plenty of people that don't have a lot are very happy. I hope you don't let the money thing stop you. You are a gentleman for wanting to provide, may God reward you with a beautiful, lovely-hearted wife who will honor you and God as well.
Day care is horrible for kids.
ahhhh, yes... i feel sufficiently roused to slice open a bag of salad for you for dinner. or perhaps you're in the mood for dry cereal tonight [we're out of milk...] ; )
More jobs for illegal aliens ?
I think you're the first person to hit on the key element here... the economy is no longer geared to a single-breadwinner family, but rather to a two-earner family. Thus if the man alone works, he'd better have a damned good income to support a family at modern middle-class standards.
i was changing into my bellydancing outfit while i put a roast in the oven and did an egg wash for the homemade rolls that are rising : )
Both of mine were in day care. If you bring them home from day care and spend the time with them they turn out ok.
My two are fine thank god. When they came home from day care we spent time deprogramming them.
ROFL! That's a pretty good analogy.
Ya know, when you're a sucessfull up an coming and confident guy, those things are bound to happen.
"More jobs for illegal aliens ?"
Mine was legal, she got a W2 and we paid through the teeth for her services. But that was our choice.
The law of the universe.
Somewhat true, but the wife is less likely to be hit upside the head with a guilt trip about not "contributing".
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