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I received this cry for help from a fellow Freeper I have been in private contact with for about a month.

I am asking for fellow Freepers to please help this person if you have any good advice for our friend.

1 posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:25 AM PDT by RobFromGa
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To: RobFromGa
Two things that helped me kick a 10 yr. heroin addiction .......

First, and most important, I went back to my trust in God (after many years astray). This has been the only way.

Second, whenever I had the slightest desire to use, I made it a point to remember ALL of the BAD things that resulted in my addiction. These are so numerous, and distasteful, that they would immediately overshadow any good physical/emotional feelings that came from getting high.

Sounds simple, but it's not (without God ......)

I'll keep our fellow FReeper in my daily prayers.

159 posted on 08/28/2006 3:34:54 PM PDT by Jackknife ( "It's not a real party 'til somebody breaks something.")
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To: RobFromGa

Sending my prayers to our fellow FReeper, which in turn means FRiend. Prayers for strength & courage through God, your friends & loved ones... and (yourself)... to face the trials which seem to come every minute of every day. God Bless.


160 posted on 08/28/2006 3:44:52 PM PDT by cgk (I don't see myself as a conservative. I see myself as a religious, right-wing, wacko extremist.)
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To: RobFromGa
This person needs to get to AA meetings and get a sponser who's been sober for years and won't be manipulated. Good luck, it wont't be easy.

Amen to that. I can only add to be patient while waiting for the meds to kick in, take only what is prescribed, and you may have to try some different ones before one or a combination is found that is right for you. You may have been self-medicating with alcohol so you didn't have to deeal with a depression/anxiety of longstanding.

Now one of the best things I was ever told was "Let yourself feel the feelings." We try to not have those bad feelings, but it is part of life, if you just accept the pain, it will abate eventually. If you try to medicate it away with booze, it really only makes it worse. The pain does not last forever, comes and goes, and everybody deals with it in one form or another.

When you are really depressed, it can only get so bad, you reach a point where it cannot get worse as to the way you feel. What you choose to do about the way you feel is up to you.

It's hard to focus on others when you feel that bad, so focus on yourself. Start rebuilding your life with healthy things you enjoy; healthy give and take friendships will build on that. Sometimes you just have nothing left to give emotionally, and it's time to take time out for yourself. Try not to inflict pain on others just because you feel bad and they are doing well.

And good luck to you.

173 posted on 08/28/2006 4:16:44 PM PDT by Aliska
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To: RobFromGa
RobfromGA, I hope these are constructive suggestions...

I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray,
at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.


Read Mark 5 and see people with problems being put right. Especially in
the first case, when HE fixes up a person with a "legion" (6000) of problems.

it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated,
likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated,
spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he
had such "deep issues".


Don't sweat it. One of the best teachers I had in graduate school
got a fit of depression. But even when medicated, he was just a slightly
more deliberate version of himself. In some ways, his "comic timing"
was even better and more droll.
Don't forstall the possibility that you'll be just fine after adjusting
to the needed medication.

What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll
increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.


You've got the existential problem that nags even "happy pagans".
If you're not familiar, check on the Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias.
His recent book "Walking From East To West" might help you see how
he overcame some of the same questions you are facing now.
And you can even hear him on radio or get some downloads at his site
www.rzim.org.

Finally, I don't know if you've watched the show "Intervention" on
A&E. If not, it shows that folks like you that have gotten help have
a shot at life...the alternative is too awful to contemplate (IMHO).
175 posted on 08/28/2006 4:37:39 PM PDT by VOA
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To: RobFromGa
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.

Surrender all of "I" to Him. Until there is complete surrender of self there will be no peace within this person's soul. Pride and condemnation are the result of fear. In Him there is nothing to fear for He desires for this person to have peace, love and a sound mind. I will be praying for your acquaintance. May he find in the Lord what he will never be able to find in a bottle of alcohol or pills or in his own rationalization.

178 posted on 08/28/2006 4:47:28 PM PDT by PleaseNoMore
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To: RobFromGa

Prayers sent for your friend. Please encourage him to trust in the Lord. And please remind him that, yes, God sees the rotten and miserable things that we do, but He loves us anyway, and that prayer is the best way to get through anything.


182 posted on 08/28/2006 4:58:23 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Never trust Democrats with national security.)
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To: RobFromGa; All
Guess I am sooo going to have to revive the ODAT list.
Also, there is an #odat channel on irc.freenode.net (chatzilla/xchat/Mirc) irc chat - all are welcome.
183 posted on 08/28/2006 5:06:39 PM PDT by xcamel (Press to Test, Release to Detonate)
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To: RobFromGa

I do not know if male or female or what religion the person is but I can say that this person should seek out a Catholic Church that has Eucharistic Adoration.

Find the Church, the location and the hours. Make the trip and go to the front of the Church and sit with our Lord in the Eucharist. He will sit with you and you and He can quietly talk over your needs. Bring a Rosary with you and pray to Our Mother.

May the Lord be with you. May the Lord comfort you. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.


185 posted on 08/28/2006 5:10:58 PM PDT by franky (Pray for the souls of the faithful departed.)
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To: RobFromGa

Prayers for a fellow Freeper bump


187 posted on 08/28/2006 5:13:52 PM PDT by Tribune7
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To: RobFromGa

God bless you and your friend. I will say a prayer for him. I hope everything gets better for him soon.


189 posted on 08/28/2006 5:55:29 PM PDT by GinaLolaB (Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. — Jesus (John 15:1)
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To: RobFromGa; 4woodenboats; 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; abletruth; Accountable One; Aeronaut; ...
Prayer ping.

Please post your replies to RobFromGa


RobFromGa, My prayers going up for our FReeper FRiend. God's guidance for him...God's intervention in his lack of will power. I pray God puts a friend in his path that will help him find the strength to keep from "cheating".  

Blessings,
trussell


If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.

195 posted on 08/28/2006 6:40:12 PM PDT by trussell (Work for God...the retirement benefits are eternal!)
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To: RobFromGa

Offering my prayers


197 posted on 08/28/2006 7:21:08 PM PDT by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub (Please answer our prayers)
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To: RobFromGa
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.

First, an apology. I just go tin from a class, it's late, I'm old and tired. So I didn't read all the responses.

BUT, the word "proud" can really mean "grateful", in which case, Phew!, nothing to worry about. But nearly every other meaning of "proud" runs clean contrary to being a "spiritual Christian", IMHO.

"While we were yet sinners ...". "The doors were locked where they were for fear of the Jews and Jesus appeared among them ... and said Peace be with you." And the "them we're talking about here is people who a couple of days ago had forsaken him and pretended not to know him. HE came to them, He did not wait for them to "make it up to Him," or in any other way fulfill some precondition before he came to them.

Search the Scriptures, if you;re so inclined, or just listen to me: Jesus Loves you. If you were the only person on earth other than He, he would have died for you, knowing that you were the problem. In the face of that Love it's just plain silly to avoid approaching Him. That's what Adam and Eve did in the garden: they Hid, as though somehow God wouldn't see them or what they'd done.

Jesus is already with you, His heart is breaking for you, and He's GLAD to have it break for you, that's why He came. He has all these gifts and, though He Himself made a crack about pearls before Swine, He has allowed us to tread Him under foot and still come back for more. His love never changes.

If you're the problem, if I'm the problem, If Jack Daniels is the problem, as far as His laying out prayer as one of the ways He shares His love with us goes, it makes no difference at all. NO difference at all.

It's not that He needs to hear from you -- He knows what's up. It's that as you turn to Him, ... well, I think it's sort of like holding still when the nurse gives you a shot. It doesn't feel so good and it seems, when you come right down to it, like a silly thing to do. Why let some strange chick shove a needle in your arm. And, yeah, it'll probably hurt. But the healing has already begun, or you wouldn't be writing this. And prayer will just be one of the signs of healing and a way even more healing comes to you.

And if you EVER feel that your being the problem is a reason not to pray, haul out the soggy noodle and flog yourself, all the while repeating: Stinking Thinking!

None of us is good enough to pray. All of us are the problem. And Jesus is still the solution.

Yeah you're ashamed. So what. You just have a clearer idea of how unworthy we all are of the love of God than most of us do. What a waste of a good insight it would be to let the shame be a reason NOT to pray. It would be like saying "I can't run because I have great lungs and strong legs and I really want to get to the goal a lot." What sense does that make.? You're ashamed. I'd recommend talking to Jesus about it. He knows a lot about shame.

198 posted on 08/28/2006 7:33:33 PM PDT by Mad Dawg (Reality is not optional.)
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To: RobFromGa

The "taking away of the desire for the stuff" is what fixes the problem. A serious, committed 24/7/365 relationship with Him will mean you won't want to hurt Him by touching the stuff. Getting that relationship will require surgery - a prideectomy...


199 posted on 08/28/2006 7:39:39 PM PDT by 185JHP ( "The thing thou purposest shall come to pass: And over all thy ways the light shall shine.")
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To: RobFromGa

>>I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.<<

There's a problem right there - "I'm a *proud* Christian."

NO. You're a *weak* Christian and you need to get on your knees and admit that to God and to yourself. Work your steps! You do NOT have power over your addiction. And only God (or your higher power) can help you overcome your habit and you know it in your gut.

Ask God to HELP YOU WITH YOUR PRIDE AND YOUR DESIRE FOR YOUR ADDICTION. Yes, He knows you're the problem, but He is there - waiting for you to ask Him to give you a hand up!

Ask. Then ask again. Then ask about a hundred times more. Every day, every hour, every ten minutes if that's what it takes!

Then get off that pity pot and act your way into the right way of acting. From an old Alanon flunky - JUST DO IT! ;-)


200 posted on 08/28/2006 8:56:25 PM PDT by Humidston (Houston - Don't feed jihad...DON'T SHOP ON HARWIN.)
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To: RobFromGa

Go to meetings.
Read your Big Book.
Talk to your sponsor.

Above all else keep it simple.


201 posted on 08/28/2006 10:26:53 PM PDT by bad company (When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for FReeper kanawa)
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To: RobFromGa
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence.

To Rob's friend:

Don't you even begin to think that way. It might not be a "call for help" but the seed has been planted and will grow. My husband committed suicide in April. Are we better off without him? Hell no. I will love and miss him untill the day I die as will his sons and daughter.

Get rid of the antidepresents. The wrong ones for you contribute to your depression. Take up a physical activity. Jogging, running, weight lifting, anything.

Get off the selfpity wagon or I may have to kick you off it myself.

That being said I'm sending you a cyber-hug because I know too well what you are going through.

Never, ever be ashamed to pray. Perhaps God is just waiting for you to turn to Him. I will be praying for you everyday.

202 posted on 08/28/2006 10:32:16 PM PDT by barker (Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.)
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To: RobFromGa
He shouldn't be taking three different anti-depressants at once. He needs a new shrink. The medicine he's taking now obviously isn't working.
203 posted on 08/29/2006 2:17:24 AM PDT by Sandy
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To: RobFromGa

If the anti-depressants aren't helping, his next steps ought to be exercise and cognitive therapy.

The exercise is useful anyway and gets dopamine flowing through his body. A good wear-yourself-out game of hoops or running or whatever will work up a good head of sweat will help on several levels.

Cognitive therapy is a psychological counseling that does not need any drugs. It helped me through my depression. This fellow is flooded with negative thoughts. What cognitive therapy does is help to break down negative thoughts and examine them as to whether they are true. Most of the time, they are either not true or exaggerated which then become obstacles to corrective behavior.

An example depressed statement: "My work at the office is useless."

The patient is then asked to come up with specific examples where his work was not useless. Then he must re-examine his statement and realize the statement is a lie. Sounds corny but once you train yourself to attack depressing lies the mind tells itself, you can overcome the issues behind the depression.

There are, IMO, two types of depression: one from chemical imbalances that anti-depressants should treat, the other from emotional depression based on negative circumstances. When medication does not appear to help, exercise and cognitive therapy are the next step.

As a recovering alcoholic, he probably also needs a buddy who can hold him accountable for taking a drink. And, as a Christian, a prayer partner is also recommended.

I haven't read all the comments but that's my untrained diagnosis.


204 posted on 08/29/2006 2:51:34 AM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: RobFromGa
"I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem."

See Helpful hints from Oswald Chambers!

205 posted on 08/29/2006 2:54:09 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God be the Glory)
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