I am asking for fellow Freepers to please help this person if you have any good advice for our friend.
He ain't heavy
He's my brother.
I won't enable him in any way, but I will help. I'll contact you under separate cover with my offer: and it is a take-it-or-leave-it proposition for our FRiend.
*DieHard the Guardian Angel*
but I'm even too ashamed to pray
Dear Freeper and friend...
This is exactly what Satan wants....he wants you too ashamed to reach out to the only help out there.....the God of the universe, the one who made you ....who knit you together in your mother's womb.
Help is a prayer away!!!
There was a time, under different circumstances, I too thought there was no hope...
..and all I could muster was 'God help!'...
He did.
Please please pray....and meantime, many of us will be praying intercessory prayers for you.
In the kindest tone I can muster, your friend needs to remember that we are ALL living in this world. Not just him/her. And complaining about it sounds like a cop-out, IMO. There are more personal issues your friend hasn't addressed, I'd bet. Issues that very much need addressing.
it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
The person is selling his friends, family and acquaintances short. Sounds like being afraid to trust that he/she can be accepted without the booze. Or, he/she is inventing rationale and justification to return to drinking.
In addition to not acknowleging the real possibility of harming or killing another innocent person while being "happy, intoxicated and likely-to-be-shorter-lived".
Lots of denial, rationalization and excuses still going on, it seems. I'm praying for your friend.
I suffered life threatening depression and lots of alcohol abuse following the death of my wife.
It takes time. But I started focusing on nutrition, and I can say unequivocally that certain things DO HELP.
I take Vit D, Calcium and Magnesium daily. And if I miss a day, the first place it shows is my mood. Same affect for my mutt.
I pray for you to turn back to God, in Jesus name.
Prayers sent for your friend.
Things will get better but not overnight and not in just a short time.
Hang in there!
A woman I care very much about got messed up pretty badly, partially but not primarily due to her own acts. She has almost completely recovered...physically.
She is a Christian believer, though not a "conventional" one. I'm more of a Deist than anything else, I don't neccesarily believe in prayer or "divine intervention", though I don't entirely disbelieve in the latter.
She's been attributing her recovery to divine intervention, and not giving herself any credit. Indeed, she gets irked with me when I say that she deserves much of the credit.
Finally I told her that giving herself some of the credit doesn't neccesarily take away from any assistance she got from God, any more than it takes away from what the docs did to save her life. I mentioned that if anything, God would be proud of her for fighting for her recovery, just like her family is and I am. This seemed to sink in quite a bit.
It sounds like your friend has been through the tough part, and has plenty to be proud of, so if prayer is truly a source of strength for him/her, there's absolutely no reason to refrain out of shame.
-Eric
A lot of what I want to say has been said before, but I will speak from the heart.
I too remember the cold dark place of self-loathing: I am so sorry you find yourself there. You must stand and go forth from there.
Put the plug in the jug: I told myself 15 years ago that if I didn't put booze in my mouth today, I could say I'd done one thing perfectly right. Take that as a small goal for today, and that will be enough.
It gets better. Giving up alcohol is like the funeral of your best friend. Don't make big plans or drastic changes. Just keep it simple. See previous paragraph.
Active Alcoholism (drinking) is about self-pity, denial, darkness, compulsion, obsession, repeat. That's the ride you chose. That's the ride you're on. Get off. See above.
There will be a brighter day. Your esteem will return but you must do esteemable things. Small ones first, see above.
Tell your friend to give himself a break and remember that especially in recovery----good comes very slow and bad comes very quickly.
Prayer, above all, and service, as others have stated, truly are healing.
Your friend doesn't seem to be tempted during work, so he/she should work or serve until its time to pray and sleep. Repeat daily. If you aren't in AA or NA, get there quickly. You'll be amazed at how many of us are just like you. Things will get better my friend.
Incoming FReepmail.
I've seen a lot of good advice, can't offer much more. I will pray for you and I agree don't stop praying. And if you have a good mom, go see her.
When you can't pray to the Lord.....Praise Him!!!!
Turn on a Christian music station and sing your heart out, if you don't know the songs...listen to the words and understand and feel the grace and love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
SING :-) SING :-) SING :-)
Third Day has some GREAT songs!
Read some of Max Lucado's books especially "In the Grip of Grace" it is available in audio tape too...listen in the car, just be sure to pull off the road as you cry when you feel the release of guilt and the build up of Love from our Lord!
Lord be with you and keep you safe
OK, not gonna get all preachy here, but just some friendly advice.
1. You have admitted in front of God and everybody that you are the problem. That means that you have accepted responsibility for it; you're not blaming it on other people or your problems, you're taking personal responsibility for it. That's very good.
2. You are ashamed to look God in the face because you feel that you are basically an unredeemable sinner for what you consider your personal moral failings.
You probably haven't had a good "sit down" with the Big G for quite some time.
God is not angry with you for this. He understands why you haven't been around in awhile. He knows that you are embarrassed, that you feel unworthy of even looking up at him. But he didn't go anyplace, he's missed you, and he'd like to hear from you.
We're all sinners. God knows that. He loves you anyway.
Look brother, as dark as it seems, you have many blessings. You aren't sleeping under a bridge. You don't have to worry about roadside bombs when you drive to work. You have people who love you and care about ou, even though you may have forgotten about them.
You don't need to go to some preacher for this, you can talk to him directly. It's called prayer, as you know. If you can't think of how to start your prayer, start out by thanking God for all your blessings. And really mean it.
And watch where it goes from there. GBU
Sounds like he needs meds.
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Megwetch, nican!!
A person who is able to overcome drinking, and face their problems sober, in my mind, is a true real life hero. Heros may make several attempts during a rescue and they may fail but the sheer act of trying is what sets them above those who stand back and watch.
It occured to me that there are likely to be FReepers in your friend's town or city. If we knew where that was a concerned addict/friend/FReeper could anonymously invite him to a meeting.
There really is no better way for him to understand that he is not alone and millions are suffering and recovering just like him.