Posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:24 AM PDT by RobFromGa
Dear Rob,
"Cheated" twice with a couple beers a couple times over the last couple days, though, nominally, it'll be three weeks "clean" on Tuesday. This adds to guilt, but is the only way I can get myself relaxed enough to keep from bawling out of extremely-uncool and undeserved self-pity.
I'm under great medical observation, and a crapload of antidepressants [x,y, and z].
Tell me, Rob, what it is I'm recovering "from" and why, since this world is such a [messed up] place? When I was a drunk, sure, I'd be moody in the mornings, productive at work (and I NEVER drank during the day), and everyone's friend once I got home. Now it's just constant depression and having to face a [messed] up world (with way too many liberals in it .
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence. That last sentence isn't a "cry for help - please hug me I'm hurting, Oprah" throwaway - it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.
You're an Internet pal, trustworthy by sheer virtue of being a Conservative, and, your advice and wisdom is easier to follow exactly because I do NOT know you personally.
If you don't mind redacting my screenname, feel free to poll/ping the Recovery List. I'll "come out" when I'm ready, I promise.
God Bless You and have a great week,
Thanks for your thoughtful words...and bless you too, Poet. Fortunately, my sister did not have any children, but it is an issue within our family.
Stay strong and keep your life.
Steve
Rob, I didn't read the whole thread...I remember when you first posted this. What I wanted to know is if you asked permission before you put this on the public forum. I really hope you did, because if not, it's a terrible betrayal of trust. I don't care if it's anonymous.
Why don't you at least read the initial post where he gave me permission?
Of course I wouldn't have posted such a thing without being asked. What made you post such a malicious comment?
OOPS...I read this at least three times, but somehow didn't see that last sentence. I apologize. Carry on.
I am sure someone mentioned 90 meetings in 90 days.
21 years of Alnon.
Thanks, 2111. I can only hope that at least one less family has to go through what our family has gone through.
Steve
My advice: "Be honest, even when it hurts." Prayed
Get over the pride and get right with the Lord, and you can't do that without talking with Him.
You both know the problem, He is the solution. GO to Him in humility, and ask for his help. If God freed the Hebrews from bondage in Egypt, He can handle whatever chains you have and make you truly free.
One more thing. Wrap your head around the idea (if you want to succeed) that YOU DON'T DRINK. Someone offers, you can thank them, but no, "I don't drink.", matter of fact, no condescending attitude, no regrets, that is just the way it is, no biggie. If they (or you) are left feeling awkward, graciously ask for a soft drink instead.
No alcohol beer? Why drive smelling like you are drunk, even if you are not?
As for the liberals and idiots, yep, they were always there. Depressing? Sometimes. Handle it. Remember, "There, but for the grace of God, go I".
Praying for your success.
She didn't really drink until she got into her 40s, but for some reason her body couldn't metabolize alcohol very well, so her liver became damaged quite quickly. By that time she was addicted, though.
After my father died, she just quit pretending she wasn't a drunk, went rapidly downhill, and died 18 months after my father.
I truly believe it's a disease, with a very strong genetic factor. My father also drank, but he could quit periodically (such as for Lent!) and was basically a "functioning alcoholic."
I grew up with the shameful pain of alcoholism and as such I rarely drink. Although I loved her very much, I refuse to end up like my mother.
Dear Rob,
Could we please have any kind of a late update?
Praying.
Ravi Z is one of the best.
Have met him. He's authentic.
Thanks.
Much appreciate this one.
Thanks.
I do think sublingual (under the tongue) B12 is important as well as the rest.
I don't want a problem, can I ask him to let someone else have mine? :-) Thanks for the thoughts...
= = =
Sure! Be my guest. LOL.
Most welcome.
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
a BIG virtual hug and prayers.
God's peace and comfort to you and yours.
Prayers for your sister's soul and for comfort for all who loved her.
Thank you, WVMM, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
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