Posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:24 AM PDT by RobFromGa
Dear Rob,
"Cheated" twice with a couple beers a couple times over the last couple days, though, nominally, it'll be three weeks "clean" on Tuesday. This adds to guilt, but is the only way I can get myself relaxed enough to keep from bawling out of extremely-uncool and undeserved self-pity.
I'm under great medical observation, and a crapload of antidepressants [x,y, and z].
Tell me, Rob, what it is I'm recovering "from" and why, since this world is such a [messed up] place? When I was a drunk, sure, I'd be moody in the mornings, productive at work (and I NEVER drank during the day), and everyone's friend once I got home. Now it's just constant depression and having to face a [messed] up world (with way too many liberals in it .
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence. That last sentence isn't a "cry for help - please hug me I'm hurting, Oprah" throwaway - it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.
You're an Internet pal, trustworthy by sheer virtue of being a Conservative, and, your advice and wisdom is easier to follow exactly because I do NOT know you personally.
If you don't mind redacting my screenname, feel free to poll/ping the Recovery List. I'll "come out" when I'm ready, I promise.
God Bless You and have a great week,
One thing you may find to be kind of funny is that for the first maybe moth or so going to meetings, I would listen to one song, over and over and over and over again... Not really sure if I recommend it to all as some songs/songwriters etc. can be triggers in some cases.. But, it was a song by, of all people, Bob Marley... Now mind you, I'd NEVER really been a fan of his, but this song just hit a spot in me I just needed hit apparently... Mainly, because of it's repetitive nature... It's called "Three Little Birds"...
Here you are...
"Don't worry about a thing
'Cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright
Singin', "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright."
Rise up this morning,
Smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true
Sayin', "This is my message to you-u-u."
Singin'...
"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause ev'ry little thing gonna be al-right."
Focus on the only reason why Man exists (IMHO) instead of the "Me syndrome" is key. Man is here to be the medium through which an Infinite being can become greater that It's own infinite structure, by also being finite, an infinite number of times and variations. (It'll take forever to accomplish this) This is done through a symbiotic relationship, called filled with the spirit, in Christian terms.
We are not here for us. We are only here for God to achieve the Purpose.
But the individual conciousness is rewarded by melding with this Infinite, while still maintaining individuality and awareness of that self.
"Heaven" is the forever it is going to take to always become closer, more in one, with the Infinite, at the rate you choose. It will take forever to always have More and More, kinetically connecting and gaining.
Anti-depressants and suicidial thoughts, why does this pattern keep repeating itself?
That is one of my favorite songs, I saw Marley in Minneapolis in 1979 (I think) and I think Exodus is one of the five best albums ever created.
So,
Don't Worry about a thing...
Cause every little thing's gonna be all right!
Great minds, my friend... great minds... : )
I'm not saying you are wrong, but "fat people and Diet Cokes, why does this pattern keep repeating itself" is the same logic.
| If You Suspect You Might Have A Drinking Problem (An Open Letter) |
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| Posted by RobFromGa On News/Activism 12/11/2004 8:37:20 AM EST · 506 replies · 11,035+ views |
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What a great quote.
I am doing great, haven't felt any desire to drink in quite a while, coming up on three years October 8. Business is great, family is healthy and doing well, life is good. I count my blessings, and my Freeper friends are among those blessings.
Worry about things you cannot change is wasted effort.
The world is not perfect, but it never was... and it never will be.
You think you have it bad, our Lord and Savior had to live daily knowing he would be betrayed by one of his closest friends and confidants, that he would be publicly tortured and humiliated... baked bleeding in the hot sun nailed to a cross and die a horrible death.
If you biggest worries in life are the issues of grand geopolitical issues such as war and poverty and such, you are damnedably lucky. Instead of focusing on the evil of the world... Evil that will exist until the end time... nothing you and I do can stop it from existing... focus on the good.
There is good in the world.. lots of it. Yes, you won't find much of it on the evening news, or in the paper, or even in much of popular entertainment these days... after all our abherantly stained souls are much more easily facinated by a slaughter of 1 man by evil, than the thousands of good works that happen every day quietly.
If you doubt this world is good, then only go find a nice forest or woods to walk through... a state or national park if you don't have any private land you can walk.... Go out there, take some water, maybe a walking stick, and a compass and map if you don't know the area well... and start walking... and keep walking until you see and hear the world that is... not the world that is being fed to you by others.
If you need to find purpose, then find those that help others... your local church or community groups.... and get involved. You don't need to be an evangelical to do God's will or God's work, heck you don't even have to be all that holy.. just be who you are, and bring what you have to the table. Remember, some of the worlds greatest saints were first some of the worlds greatest sinners.
You do these things and you will come to find that the world is indeed so beautiful, and so good, that we take it for granted... we don't even notice it when it is right in front of our eyes because it is so common and so pleantiful.
Do not dispare, and do not fear.. God does love you, and he cares for you.... even if you "both know you are the problem"... After all, he knows that even with our best efforts...we all are... after all, he doesn't make mistakes.
All good things in this world come from God, he only lets us use them for a little while.... so use them, all of them, to make things better in whatever way you can...
I cannot walk a mile in your shoes, you cannot walk a mile in mine.. but someone walks every mile in both our shoes.. so don't be afraid to confer with him.. he knows the path you have walked. Every step, every stumble, every summit and valley, he was there and will be there. Whatever past things bring you shame, do not dwell on them... he will forgive you if you only ask. You must also be able to forgive yourself.
If you stumble, you are human... do not dwell on them, work to not repeat them... but never did a man walk a journey of any distance where he did not stumble, and never at the end of that road were the stumbles what defined his reward.
Your advice is well suited for everyone.
I can't offer much in the way of advice. But I can offer my heartfelt prayer that our FRiend makes it through the next moment, the next hour, the next day. He needs to know that we care. And, he is loved.
What your friend is going through is a physical crisis. Years of alcohol at an unhealthy rate make basic changes to the body's ability to live with itself - its homeostasis - and now it's having to adjust. It's a grueling process and yes, you get mental depression and spiritual crises and emotional turmoil and just about everything else you need to screw up your life - that part of it that alcohol didn't already screw up - and it isn't in your head, it's in your body.
That's what detox is - the mental stuff comes later. The spiritual part is what gets you through both. FReeper Larry Johnson gave two words of advice that weren't flippant at all - when your friend "needs" a drink he/she should work out. Weights are wonderful for it, so is a kick/punching bag, whatever it takes. Not only does it work out frustration but it speeds the body's healing process. Lots of water helps - the body has endured years of dehydration through alcohol abuse. Vitamins as well within reason. Lots of rest even when sleep is impossible. Slug it out one day at a time.
And yes, placing your life in the hands of the Lord means that you get strength for all of this from its true source. I do not say that as a very flawed Christian (which I am) but as a guy who has seen it work where nearly nothing else does. Your life always was in His hands but that doesn't you aren't free to kill yourself with human stupidity. Now it's payback time, and payback's a b*tch. It doesn't last forever.
One other thing - lose the antidepressants as soon as feasible. Those damn things will kill you. IMHO, of course.
**I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem. **
I am sure this person knows that asking for forgiveness is the key componenet here. The Lord cannot forgive unless we confess. Seek out a priest connected with the AA program and sit down and talk with him. He will be so glad he did!!
Prayers may be just as good as advice in this case.
Thanks for your words of wisdom and for helping others to "get over the net".
A quote from the Tao Te Ching (Chapter 4)
"With patience tangled cord may be undone,
and problems which seem insoluble, resolved.
When untangled by a cutting edge,
the cord in little pieces lies,
and is of little use."
This quote helped me a lot in the initial stages of my recovery. Worthwhile things take time.
I know he is under close medical supervision so he should be able to get things adjusted correctly at the chemical level. Vitamins and exercise are also good advice.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with our FRiend.
I hope that our FRiend will be able to come to peaceful terms with Him. He only needs to initiate the contact and lose the shame. Because there is nothing shameful about improving yourself.
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