Iraq Insurgents Request Government Arms

UPI ^ | July 5 2006

[jmc1969]

Leaders from 11 insurgent groups have asked the Iraqi government for weapons to counterattack foreign al-Qaida fighters, USA Today reported Wednesday.

"They want to take part in the war against terrorists," said Haider al-Ibadi, a Shiite lawmaker and member of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's Dawa Party "They claim they could wipe out the terrorists and work with the government."

[Egon]

We can go ahead and file this under: WTF??

[siznartuf]

"They claim they could wipe out the terrorists and work with the government."

Ya right, trust me.

The check is in your mouth, and I won't come in the mail.

[epluribus_2]

Uh, err, O.K. - we will deliver the requested weapons at 16:00 GMT sharp at 30° 57' 45.9"N 46° 06' 11.1"E.

There is a large X shaped marker at that location.

Assemble in inspection formation and stand at attention.

We will then commence the distribution of aforestated supplies...(EOT)

[Diogenesis]

Abu Mullah: "I am telling you. We should try this.
It works for the Palestinians. The dumb Americans send them
more money and the stupid Israelis send them more weapons each time.
Praise Allah for their foolishness to trust us."

[dmz]

We can go ahead and file this under: WTF??
________

Damn. I already filed it under "are you effen kidding me?" I hate cross-filing.

Aren't the insurgent groups also the ones our troops are fighting and being shot at and blown up by? I guess they don't want to share credit with foreign groups for how many US soldiers they kill.

[rightinthemiddle]

They can join the Iraqi SF just like everybody else. Swear allegiance to the government, in the name of Allah.

[Paladin2]

Give them some metal detectors and tell them to go fish.

[MikeA]

Why won't the weapons they have work??

[oyez]

Give it to them, ammo first.

[oyez]

Give it to them, ammo first.

[blackie]

X marks the spot.

[Jeff Head]

Give us the coordinates where you want the deliveries made and then bring your insurgent troops there and have them stand in parade formation so we can make sure each one is outfitted appropriately with the latest weaponry to fight Al Quida.

We will then deliver the ordinance...er, weapons, directly to those formations in an appropriate manner.

[MOTR Newbie]

Next week's headline: "Former Sunni Insurgent Groups Claim They Must Have Nuclear Weapsons From U.S. To Fight Foreign Jihadists."

[Just A Nobody]

"They want to take part in the war against terrorists,"

The correct way to do that is to sign up with the Iraqi Security Forces.

[reagan_fanatic]

"They want to take part in the war against terrorists," said Haider al-Ibadi

Suuuure they do, Sparky. Sure they do.

[sure_fine]

they don't care for what cause they fight, only to fight

[Draco]

This simply means the bad guys are short arms and munitions. And that is a good thing.

[Little Ray]

Actually, this sounds like a good thing - the Sunnis are tried of Al Qaeda and want to kill 'em so they can go back to politics (where they have chance) instead of the battlefield (where we kick their butts...).

[savedbygrace]

For some reason, this reminds me of the Land Shark routine on SNL:

[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]
Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: What?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers? From whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.
Voice: I'm only a harmless dolphin...
Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]

[Stayfree]

Is that headline on the front page of the NY Slimes?