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You must be wondering why I summoned you, Klink.
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Yes. Why did you call me here?
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I won't beat around the bush, Klink. We need you to infiltrate the DNC.
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What!?? But how?!?
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Leave that to me , Klink. Right now I want you to lose the monocle, shave
the sides of your head and put on a suit. Do that and report back here on the
double!
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Excellent, Klink! Even better than we had anticipated! From here on out you will
be addressed only as James Carville. By the time we're through with you you'll be
walking and talking just like Ol' Corporal Cue-ball himself! In the meantime, we'll
make arrangements to keep the real James Carville on ice.
Now, let me show you my plan..........
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Are you alright, honey? You seem a little out of
sorts this morning.
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Oh, I'm fine, fine -never felt better! But I must hurry along, darling,
I don't want to be late for my appointment with Herr Dean!
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Herr Dean???
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Did I say Herr Dean? How silly of me- I meant Howard Dean, of course.
Oh my - look at the time! Auf Wiedersehen, my little apple-strudel!
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Hmmm...
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Great to see you again, James.
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Danke!
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Dunkin'? Good idea! Shirley, send out
for some Dunkin' Donuts and some coffee.
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Right.
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And don't call me Shirley!
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Now, let's get down to business. As you know I have a fifty state
strategy for winning back the house and the senate this fall, but we need to
get our message out. That's where you come in, James. I want you to hit the
talkshow cicuit with the talking points I'll give you and hammer home our message.
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Wunderbar!
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A Wunderbar? After all those donuts? No thanks.
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How did it go at your meeting today, honey?
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Herr Dean wants me to appear on all the talkshows next
week.... say, do we have any wienerschnitzel, liebling?
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Again with the Herr Dean?? And you hate wienerschnitzel! - Oh, and James, you have to do
something with your dogs. They got loose again today and destoyed the garden.
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Nonsense! There has never been an escape from Stalag 13!
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What the hell are you talking about, James???
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Oh, I'm just a little tired I guess. It's been a long day and
I have to see Herr Dean again in the morning - Gute Nacht!
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Definitely weird city...
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Alright, James, you're going to be on Russert's show Sunday morning and he can
be tough, so let's run through your talking points together. I'll play Tim Russert. Ready?
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Yes, Herr Dean.
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Herring? Not now, James. Perhaps for lunch.
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Now, let's begin...
Ahem-- Democratic strategist, James Carville, welcome to Meet the Press. Tell
us, what plan do Democrats have for winning the war in Iraq?
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Tim, the White House's strategy of stay the course is not working. Virtually
all the Generals I've spoken with agree on that fundamental point.
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A very provocative statement. Can you
name those Generals for us?
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Name them? Well I... let me see...
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Can you name one?
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One? But of course,Tim...I...um....
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Well?
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General Burkhalter?
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General Burkhalter???
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And Maj. Hochstetter. True, he's not a General, Tim, but...
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Who the @#&# is Maj. Hochstetter??!!?
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Wait a minute... are you still Tim Russert?
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Ok, James, let's call it a day. Brush-up on
your talking points and we'll meet again tomorrow.
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Dick, Operation Switcheroo was a complete success! Having Klink
bomb on all those shows put the final nail in the Democrats' coffin. Our
polling has Republican favorables way up in all congressional districts!
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That's great, Karl! Good job! And Klink? What happened with him?
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Klink spent 6 weeks with Howard Dean- it was too much for him and he
cracked. Went bonkers. I'm talking nuttier than a squirrel turd! It appears
he is convinced that Adolph Hitler has been reincarnated as
a Balinese Semi-longhair cat that speaks only to him!
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Adolph Hitler as a cat! Ha ha ha!
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
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.......................................................... ha ha ha... Ok, Dick, hang up now................................... You first....
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Klink!!! Klink, you dummkopf!!! Get in here and change
zee channel! It's almost time for zee David Hasselhoff
Biography - The Knight Rider Years!
