***If the attraction is to "maleness," why do so many homosexuals act like females, enjoy the company of females, and hook-up with other feminine acting males? That doesn't make sense to me.***
You could apply that same logic to women... if they like men, why do they act like women?...
answer: because they are women and not men.
I don't think you are quite accurate when saying so many homosexuals act like females. If you compare 'effeminate' homosexuals with females, the similarities are obvious, but much of the 'campness' of homosexuals is more 'unmasculine' than feminine, in that women don't really have those mannerisms. Many homosexual mannerisms tend to be much more exagerated than you see in most females.
Much of this can be learned from others, but for many, it is just how they are. There are effeminate/camp children who don't learn that behaviour from others. My own suggestion is that they develop it from whatever has given them the homosexual disorder... possibly whilst in the womb.
Effeminate homosexuals stick together for the same reasons that other 'types' of people stick together. Security, familiarity, common interests etc.
As I said before... homosexuality is not just about being sexually attracted to the same sex. The homosexual psychology is intricate. This is where blanket analysis falls down, and why it's impossible to say to each homosexual "you can be cured by prayer/faith/therapy"... or any other individual method.
Regarding faith...
That is your own belief, as a Moslem has his and a Hindu has his own... and an agnostic will wait and see.
What you say is relevant to Christians, and I understand what you mean. Repentance is a help, but not the full solution. If that were so, then all repentant Christians would be healed of homosexual attraction, and they aren't.
This is where my point about individuality comes into play. You describe Christians with different approaches and different things in their hearts. This will always be the case... and remember that most homosexuals are probably not Christian in the way you portray a Christian, and many homosexuals who wish to be cure will not be Christians.
This makes your 'repentance' cure a very limited solution to for the majority of people.
If you are saying that homosexuality can only be cured through true repentance to Jesus Christ, then you are saying that the majority of homosexuals wanting a cure will not find one.
This being the case, then you have to consider that your solution is limited only to the minority, and that there also needs to be a policy of educating self-constraint and other ways to prevent homosexual 'pollution'.
Don't feel any guilt about your niece. You had good reasons to not get involved, and in the end, each individual is responsible for their own life decisions. We all carry around things which sometimes sit heavily on our shoulders, but your own immediate family must always come first for you.
Very sorry my reply has been so delayed. I've been busy.
It is not the same thing at all. Effeminate homosexuals are not women; they are men. But if they are attracted to men because they are attracted to maleness and masculinity, then it doesn't make sense for them to be attracted to other effeminate men who, as you admit, are unmasculine. Why couldn't they be attracted to a bull-dyke? She's more manly than most men, definitely more manly than an effeminate gay man.
The thing that twists logic in this as much as anything is, to be attacted to your same sex is like being attracted to yourself.
Do you think that homosexual desire, defined as a disorder, is rooted in an inability to identify as your natural gender? That seems a different problem to me than homosexuality. Not unrelated much of the time, but still, different. So my question is, is that pretty much always the case? Gay men feel more like women and lesbian women feel more like men? Thus, in being attracted to the same sex it is somehow mentally like being attracted to the opposite sex? Otherwise, it is like being attracted to yourself.
Like I said before, I do not doubt that a person can overcome their homosexuality without accepting Chrisitianity. They need a motive that is stronger than their enjoyment of the behavior. Habits of this sort must be hard to break. Which desire is strongest? What do you value most? To desire to quit means there is something you value more than homosexuality. That is a strong glimmer of health and hope.
That said, all humans have a sin nature and no amount of will power will change that. Christ is the only answer to that problem. You may conquer one sin and its related desires, but you will still have a sin nature in need of redemption and transformation.