I have struggled with these very same questions, especially since my wife passed.
When I was younger, I had no doubt there was a great plan. And that I was some part of it.
As I got older, it seemed less clear. Out of all the folks who had passed, why can't just one give some incontrovertible proof? Show up on the Tonight Show and give the lottery numbers for tomorrow night or something?
So where is the evidence? If I did live previous lives, why can't I remember one tiny bit? When you look at actual data, it doesn't look very supportive of extraordinary claims. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.
Yet more of my examination have given new hope and direction. We are not just muscles and tissues. What makes us us is PATTERNS. Patterns of thought, patterns of awareness. There is no single cell in any of us that holds the "me" in it. Yet each and every cell is a tiny, living, individual being.
So we are much more than the simple sum of the parts. Wish I knew what, but maybe time will give the answer.
Same here, since my husband died. It seems to be getting worse lately.
Here's an interesting story: One of my sisters was an unwed mother. She'd graduated from college pregnant and instead of the fancy job, etc., she had to deal with the pregnancy and the new baby.
My husband had died about 4 months before she gave birth. She hadn't seen or heard from him in years while she was away at school. We were in another state when he died and considering the physical and emotional distance between the two, there was no reason for her to be thinking about him.
Well, she had a dream that the phone rang, and when she answered it was my husband. He told her that everything would be alright and just hold on. Then he said - "There are a lot of people here who want to use the phone. I've got to go." I have to smile thinking of all the people in heaven lined up to use the 1 phone to call their loved ones.
Here is a link to a website that shows proof - "Does God Exist".
John Clayton was an atheist who set out to prove that the Bible was wrong and inconsistent with science. Yet, instead, he found that he could find no inconsistencies. Very interesting discussions, charts, and materials on these questions.
http://www.doesgodexist.org/
The author is John Clayton, a retired physics, chemistry and earth science instructor from the public schools in South Bend, Indiana. Mr. Clayton holds a B.S. and M.S. from Indiana University in math and physics and a M.S. from Notre Dame University in Earth Science. He taught in the public schools for 41 years and has been doing presentations on the compatibility of science and faith for 38 years.
Perhaps because where they are is so cool, they don't really want to waste one second coming back here....
susie