The Portable Dan Brown (Da Vinci Code Alert)

townhall.com ^ | 6/1/06 | Mike Adams

[beyond the sea]

I used to think The Koran was the best book to read in the airport, simply because carrying it guarantees you’ll never get searched by airport security. Later, I decided that The Book of Mormon was better because it guarantees the person sitting next to you will never start a conversation during the flight. Now, I’ve decided – once and for all, I think – that The Da Vinci Code has both of them topped.

Toting Dan Brown’s book is far better than toting the aforementioned works of fiction because it helps to identify my least favorite segment of American society – the conspiracy theorists. The following excerpts from real conversations – conversations people actually initiated with me after seeing my copy of The Da Vinci Code - explain why I now carry it to work, to restaurants, and just about everywhere except for church:

[Tax-chick]

This was such a funny column. I love Mike Adams ... but he's married. Well, I am too, but why quibble?

[Mercat]

great column.

[redgolum]

Great article! If I was still on the road a lot, I would have to start carrying DVC for amusements sake.

[sageb1]

lol! Like this?

[Jaysun]

"But when people talk about what “they” have discovered or research that “they” have done, I find that “they” generally don’t know what the hell “they” are talking about."

hahahaha

[FlingWingFlyer]

Great column. Worth the read. The conspiracy crowd cracks me up too. Loved that Barnes and Noble "fiction" department remark.

[Caramelgal]

The Koran…. The Book of Mormon… aforementioned works of fiction..

He’s very funny but that picture makes him a bit too pasty looking for my taste.

Conspiracy theorists are among my least favorite segments of American society too, but it’s fun to blow their theories to bits with reason and common sense.

But I’m sure to start some trouble here by saying I believe parts of the Bible are probably fictional too and some stories are allegories, meant to teach a lesson on some greater truth. The Jonah and the Whale story and the whole “God created the world in 6 days then rested on the 7th” thing comes to mind. I never understood this one, not that He couldn’t do it in 6 days if you believe He is almighty, but why did he need to rest then? Are unions that powerful in Heaven too?

[Sender]

Yeah! Chemtrails! It's a conspeeeracy!

[Rokke]

Great column. I'm always amused by conspiracy theorists. My own personal conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists are folks who lead such dull and uninteresting lives that they find it necessary to create a world of fiction in which they are among the few "elite" who really know the "truth". The irony is, of course, that their truth is fiction. And the reality is, of course, that our world is so complex and interesting that nobody has a need to create a fictional world no matter how boring they think their own lives are.

[Tax-chick]

but why did he need to rest then? Are unions that powerful in Heaven too?

Chortle!

Real answer: the LORD didn't need to rest, but He did, as an example to us.

[sully777]

Platonic dialectic (see: http://www.bu.edu/wcp/Papers/Anci/AnciFort.htm)

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Re: Mike Adams' dialectic

Conversation 2

Q: Oh, I just love that book. Have you read about the Council of Nicea and how they conspired to keep out the Gnostic Gospels? It was all so political the way they choose the Books of the Bible, don’t you agree?

A: No.

Q: Well, why not?

A: I’ve read the Bible seven times, the New Testament ten times, and all of the so-called Gnostic Gospels.

Q: And what have you concluded?

A: The New Testament books were selected long before 325 A.D. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were either written by eyewitnesses or on the basis of eyewitness evidence. The Gnostic Gospels were not. In addition to being incoherent fragments, they were written many, many decades later....

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Jude 14-15 "Now Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about these men also, saying, 'Behold, the Lord comes with 10,000 of his saints, to execute judgment on all, to convict all who are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have committed in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.'"

Adams' logical problem: The following prophecy quoted in Jude is not found in the Bible. It is neither in the Old or New Testament. It is cited from The Book of Enoch--a gnostic scroll. Ergo, the original scroll has been redacted out of the New Testament.

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Perhaps Mike Adams should consider a basic class in logic when writing. Adams employs logical fallacies of Petitio Principii and Argumentum ad Verecundiam: I read the Bible 7 times therefore what I opine concerning the gnostic gospels must be true. Mike, just because one reads the Bible a thousand times a thousand one can still be dead wrong on catholic redaction. The Catholics redacted the New Testament and the Jewish scribes redacted the Old Testament. These are undisputed facts by all biblical experts.

[kerryusama04]

Great post.

[freekitty]

Wonderful column.

[sine_nomine]

You are one of those who conspires against the people who know The Real Story. In fact, there is a special organization of people like you. It is very secretive. The only way you can find out about it is to do a Google search. And then it changes its name every so often to confuse the innocent. But you know that already, don't you.

[qwertyz]

Interesting

[Rokke]

"The only way you can find out about it is to do a Google search."

Shhhh. Don't mention "Google". And whatever you do, DO NOT reveal what G-O-O-G-L-E really stands for. It is up to those of "us" who know all of this already, to keep the rest of the sheeple safe.

[patriot_wes]

"The Catholics redacted the New Testament and the Jewish scribes redacted the Old Testament. These are undisputed facts by all biblical experts."

Not true - the tenants of the faith had been established and submitted to the church long before the Catholic influence began corrupting the teachings of the Messiah.

The Jewish scribes translated the OT into the Septuagint long before Jesus' time. All of the very first converts to the new covenant were Jewish even three thousand in one day on the day of Shavuot (Pentecost) in Acts 2.

Dan Brown's book is bunk and I wouldn't want to be in his shoes when he faces the Master on the day of reckoning.

[Pyro7480]

See my tagline

[MHGinTN]

Oh my, now you've done it. The poster wanted ALL biblical scholars in agreement (with him) and you had to take that bauble away from the poster.