The trouble with boys

http://www.startribune.com/562/story/457984.html ^ | May 28, 2006 | Leonard Sax

[rhema]

I n the romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," Matthew McConaughey plays a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He still lives at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with buddies and having sex. In desperation, his parents hire a professional motivation consultant, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who pretends to fall in love with McConaughey's character to motivate him to grow up and get a life.

I was struck by how this theme matches what I see in my office with greater and greater frequency; a son goes off to college for a year or two, wastes thousands of dollars of his parents' money, then gets bored and comes back to live in his old room. Now he's working part time at Kinko's or part time at Starbucks.

It is a phenomenon that is getting a lot of media attention as part of the so-called "boy crisis" and one that cuts across all demographics -- rich, poor, black, white, urban and rural. According to the Census Bureau, one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. That is not true of young women. Why?

Before growing into unmotivated young adults, boys are more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD, be in remedial classes and become dropouts. Boys are now significantly less likely than girls to go to college.

[ovrtaxt]

Probably Hollywood.

[Romanov]

And that's strange because a lot of people think Steinbeck had socialist leanings. "Fat Tuesday" and "Of Mice and Men" are two of my favorites - especially since I went to the Defense Language Institute in Monterey where most of the action takes place (even had a great bar named, "Doc Ricketts" there!)

[Romanov]

LOL!

[Beagle8U]

"Whether they like the boss or whether they personally click with co-workers is not terribly important as long as they are well paid. This is to say men tend to work for money and women want positive emotions reinforced. Of course, I am looking back, I have been retired for a while."

You are 100% correct. If you wish for a company to fail, you need do no more than hire a female personnel manager, they will guarantee that you do.

[1L]

>>Trouble is though, they've been challenged because they're not politically correct and don't fit in at all with the social engineering the Libs/Socialists/Communists<<

Actually, some think Steinbeck's Grapes was a liberal/socialist manifesto of sorts. I think they are reading their own dreams into to the book, but not all classic works of fiction are criticized by liberals. They just put their own spin on it and go forward. They may not have a lot of use, however, for early western civ philosophy.

[rzeznikj at stout]

I know--when I heard that in class, I snickered.

Oh the Irony...8^)

[rzeznikj at stout]

True, though the irony is amazing...

I remember hearing it as being a top one on the Banned Books list--which IIRC is compiled by Libs everywhere...

[burzum]

Dr. Helen (the Instapundit's wife) has been beating this subject to death over the past couple of months. From what I can tell the major issues are:

• boys are taught that they are inferior to women in public schools (i.e. the same achievement in science by a boy means less than that for a girl)
• certain characteristics of boys are considered to be pyschological 'issues' (i.e. attention issues and competitiveness)
• society now considers parents to be flawed if they make their children work; hence, there is a reduction in the ability to teach responsibility to children
• people don't want children to work at all--they consider the quality of work done by children to be inadequate
• our country has become significantly less 'kid-friendly', especially for boys
• it is now culturally acceptable for boys to be submissive

There are other issues, but these are the ones I think are probably the most significant. People today don't want to be around children, especially boys. Boys are considered to be some sort of error. It's as if the parent is at fault for bringing a potential child abuser and a potential rapist into the world.

[Lady Jag]

I'm with you.   Just like you reach an age when it's not good to sleep with your mother anymore, there's something repulsive about living at home that long.

[burzum]

Hmmm, now I know why we use screen names.

Speak for yourself pal! I use mine because it makes me look cool ;)

[MikefromOhio]

LOL

yeah. Sometimes I wish I had moved out earlier than I did but circumstances didn't allow it.

[Anvilhead]

"They are being taught by the leftist NOW loving trash in this country, that being male is wrong, and if you are a white male you are 3 times as wrong."

Actually this is one area where boys get screwed equally. I'm a white man who mentors black boys and they get into at least as much trouble over this sort of thing as the white boys. The black boys get it worse when it comes to the educational track, i.e. Learning Disabled.

The white boys get it worse when it comes to punishment i.e. suspension. The main difference is that it's quite a bit easier to come back from punishment then the stigma of LD.

Personally, I've never had a problem with my kids. Sure they can have a bit of a mouth on 'em and give me some backtalk on occasion but I've never had a problem keeping them in line. (By "in line" I mean being able to instruct them and have them follow directions, I always employ them at my family's shop) Of course I don't expect anything out of them that they are incapable of giving, like sitting still and doing busy work for free for 6 hours.

[Lady Jag]

Just about all of us wish we'd moved out earlier!   LOL!

[GourmetDan]

It's the same at the office as in school. Only feminized men and women get promoted. Even if they're total losers.

We had a VP who royally screwed up part of a computer upgrade. Cost will be 000's of 1,000's to fix. She's still there. Nobody cares. I said once, "We paid someone a lot of money to screw that up." "You can't say that!", was my boss's reply.

We had another one who hired her Deloitte gigolo as a consultant on the project. I never could figure out why he was even there till I heard that. Another loser. At least they let her go after the project was over and she collected her bonus.

Playing kissy-face around the office and then talking about them behind their backs is what management is about.

But they're all in it together. You can be a good-old girl as long as you play by the same rules as the good-old boys.

[SauronOfMordor]

You are 100% correct. If you wish for a company to fail, you need do no more than hire a female personnel manager, they will guarantee that you do.

At our company, EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE in the HR dept is female. I don't think this is unusual these days

God help the man in our company that causes a woman to feel "uncomfortable" because he demands that she do her job and produce what she's being paid to produce

[Melas]

As an aside, I've heard of Steinbeck and Hemingway. Who are those other authors? I would suspect that their books are the equivalent of chick flicks? No heterosexual boy is going to be interested in that.

You can't really be that ignorant. I'm hoping here that you were being clever and just forgot the /sarcasm tag. Hemingway was about as much a man's man as a man could ever hope to be. The characters in his books were likewise the very epitome of manliness.

[Verginius Rufus]

I've heard of Toni Morrison because she was given the Nobel Prize (but haven't read anything she wrote)...but who is Julia Alvarez? Never heard of her.

[Hawkeye's Girl]

I've read "For Whom the Bells Tolls" and didn't really like it (I thought "A Farewell to Arms" was better), but I suspect if I reread it now, I'd appreciate it more.

[Beagle8U]

"God help the man in our company that causes a woman to feel "uncomfortable" because he demands that she do her job and produce what she's being paid to produce"

I wasn't even talking about that aspect of it, I was talking about how they think "feelings" should carry so much weight even when dealing with your male employees.

I only had one female working for me, my Secretary.

But, a woman Personnel Manager was like talking to someone from another planet, she made no business sense at all.

[Fairview]

. . .my girl is turning into a very beautiful young lady.

Sorry! My daughter already turned gorgeous. It has not been easy, but we survived. She is now as lovely as she is conservative so we're proud.