More Women Not Waiting For Mr. Right

CBS2CHICAGO ^ | 18 May 2006 | CBS2CHICAGO

[Dead Dog]

I say many times on FR that people tend to be rejected as companions for substantive grounds, and not shallow grounds.

Very very true. However every dog has his day, even Dead Dog's

Interesting though. When I was single, I couldn't get the time of day in Everett...but Bellevue or Fremont was no problem. Go figure. Women like guys who are like their fathers, and if that means professionals, chronically employed men with ethics..that is what they will want. If it is emaciated crack heads with their hats on sideways...then they live in Everett.

[HitmanLV]

That's certainly a big factor, you are right.

[TASMANIANRED]

You wouldn't want one like that anyway.

[rintense]

That I completely understand. The article does not address that, unfortunately. I would hope these women would have male role models around for their children. That said, there are also (unfortunately) men who are fathers that are the worst role models imaginable. I would theorize to say that having a bad role model as a father is worse than not having one at all. But again, every single instance is different. Not all families are the same. Not all circumstances are the same.

[beaversmom]

I see on FR all the time conservatives that try to divorce the social and economic.

One lady opting to be a single mom isn't going to affect society much. But it's the cumulative affect of this societal trend that will have an impact. Problems brought on by negative societal trends/experiments begat social programs. Social programs begat social spending and governmental departments. Pretty soon your society is on a death spiral like Europe and Russia from which there is a little hope for recovery.

So what is Putin doing to reverse the negative impact of a low birth rate--he's offering money for women to have children. This is what lefties and Republicans unfortunately come up with over here as well to solve social problems--more spending. I don't think you can divorce the social health of a country and the economic health of a country.

[beaversmom]

Yes I agree and know there are rotten fathers around. My opinion however is that the dismissal of men (mainly by the left) being important in a child's life is not healthy for a society. I also think this attitude toward men is making men worse not better. It's not bringing out the best in women and not bringing out the best in men to say we can go it alone.

[SauronOfMordor]

But I remember in HS, the kids who were the most f'd up were the ones that came from home with a father and mother. Most were from upper class families, drank, did drugs, got suspended, etc. The ones who excelled were the ones that everyone expected to fail- myself being one of them.

There's having a father, and actually having a father. In some upper-class families, the dad is too focused on career to be home being a dad for much of the time (which is how they got and stay upper-class)

[rintense]

Very true. I know of someone who's husband is too focused on sitting on the sofa watching ESPN. He just sits there and rarely interacts with the family. Worse, when he is animated, he's very crude and disrespectful. Nice. To me, that's a sperm donor, not a father.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Very true indeed. Which I think was the case.

[SauronOfMordor]

BTW, what is wrong with getting some Daddy attention by other male positive role models?

Because too many og the guys willing to give attention to Daddy-starved kids are pedophiles

[papertyger]

Various and sundry = technological advances, the rise of the corporate farm, the migration of populations from rural to urban and suburban, the economic boom following WWII accompanied by a population with a larger number of college graduates, the rise of unions in still thriving industrial sectors, the creation of suburban infratstructure, including the proliferation of shopping malls, an increasingly educated female population and entrance of an increasing number of women into the workforce, which took off circa 1973.

All of which furthers your central contention about changing family structures not at all. The model has, and is, the same...even though there are lesser and greater adherences to it. While shifts in economics and such are undeniable, the only true deviation in the family structure I can see over the past hundred years, and that being corrosive in nature, is the rise of the two-headed household.

[wagglebee]

Why are you so willing to answer a simple YES or NO question? Do you think abortion should be legal or not? I'm not interested in a "I wouldn't do it, but it's none of my business what others do" answer, I simply want to know if YOU think abortion should be illegal.

[longtermmemmory]

Thats very feminist of you.

Sorry but he is still the father. It may be a bad father but still the father despite your derision.

These women do not realize that men don't want to raise some other man's mistakes. Fatherhood is not a fungible comodity.

[David Allen]

Well said.

Having children and raising them is about thing: SACRIFICE. If one is too self-involved to form a loving relationship that ends in marriage, then one doesn't need to start popping out babies. She needs to fix herself before starting to raise others.

I can't even imagine what it must be like for a child to grow up having been "fathered" by purchased sperm. Even kids whose fathers are no-good, ex-con, reprobates have kids who long to find them, to get one sign of love from them.

People who have not made the sacrifices to properly raise children cannot know what it really entails. Even children whose father has died have a man to point to and say "that's my daddy!"

This is part of the continuing effort by lesbitarians to attack the role of men in society. If they could, they'd be neutering boys instead of merely trying to make them into girls in conduct. Boys are treated like second class citizens in school now, and women who stay home are treated as if they're traitors to the cause.

[durasell]

Read it again. You're not paying attention.

[beaversmom]

That's definitely another problem. Many of these single mothers have numerous men floating in and out of their lives. I'm always reading about some poor baby being killed or abused by the boyfriend. Even if she is just in a relationship with one or two decent guys, it's not good because if it doesn't work out the child is attached if she's brought the man into the child's life.

[rintense]

You can slap a feminist label on it all you want. That's the problem... too many women are 'settling' for 'anything' from their spouses because, hey, its something! And something is better than nothing.

Oh, and by your reasoning, you just condemned every man who has ever remarried a woman with children. There are plenty of good examples, even on this thread, of men who've stepped up to the plate and been a father to children who are not theirs biologically. Yes, there are even married couples who have to use donor sperm- yet the husband still raises the child as his own.

I bet you'd call a women who rejected a man's children (by your example) a b!tch.

Yep, if I'm a feminist, then you're a Neanderthal.

[HitmanLV]

I have no problem with men marrying women with children and becoming a good father for them, and a good husband for her.

I just have no interest in doing that myself. There are many choices available to a man: all else being comparable, there isn't much reason to choose an attractive 35 year old compatible woman with children over an attractive 35 year old compatible woman without children. You just buy into too much too quickly - there is no need to bear that burden, so I don't think its worth it.

Frankly, I don't see why a man would choose an attractive, compatible 35 year old when there are many attractive, compatible 25 year olds out there to cultivate a romance with. That's just my own personal bias for youth, though.

I do try to talk sense to men in this regard. Women with baggage are not to be let into your room, they're to be let alone! :-)

[beaversmom]

lesbitarians

That is funny.

Boys are treated like second class citizens in school now...

I have got to read the War on Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers.

...women who stay home are treated as if they're traitors to the cause.

They had a female professor on Medved I believe that said just that. An article about her was posted on FR. You may have seen it. Can't remember her name off hand.

[durasell]

Why do you hate America, old people, small dogs and children?