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I'd agree with you, except that it was done by this little resident who looks like his testicles still haven't descended. All during that awful first day, this little dweeb HAUNTED me, and I mean HAUNTED me, to sign that DNR. And that was after I said NO. No. No.

Then when my husband's son from a previous marriage came, the dweeb started in on him to get me to change my mind!

I finally exploded and said I'd never heard of such incredible unethical and CRUEL behavior. He kept saying, "if it was my loved one..." and I said, yeah, if it was your loved one, they'd all be DEAD. So there IS a God...neither I nor my husband is related to YOU.

This little idiot just stood there with his jaw hanging open. I can't tell you how many drs. have done just that because I refuse their "kindnesses" to kill my husband. And they honestly don't get WHY I'm upset - that THEY gave my hospital this infection, that THEY ignored it until he almost died while he was in their hospital.

And that it's SOP to try to impose on the family to let the patient die when they're too stupid and incompetent to do anything BUT.

All I want is for him to be off the ventilator and stable, and I'll take him OUT of that hellhole.

And why is it that no dr. reads his chart? And why don't they ever talk to one another? And why is it that I have met maybe one dr. not connected to this hospital who has a centimeter of human compassion and doesn't keep harping on me about the WORST outcomes? I can't even get these imbeciles to NOT talk about death in front of him!

is this the future of healthcare? I hope to God I drop dead rather than endure this "humane" torture.

You are really taking offense at the wrong thing.

I cared for my mom who died from cancer after a three years of a valiant battle.
I was up 23 hours a day towards the end of her precious life. I gave it all I had and it was my blessing.
She was a very religious woman who became a nun after my dad passed away from an industrial caused illness. She went into the prisons to help convert people to Christ and so on.

The DNR is considered by most religious people to be the most natural way to handle things if they do go beyond a fair chance at recovery.
Nobody is going to try and take your husband out and what the young person trying to get you to sign IMO is honestly trying to help you do a helpful thing.
It means that if you loved one happens upon deaths door, do you want to let them go with dignity or die a thousand deaths with mega bills on machines before they go anyway?

If there is no DNR, then they will be BRUTAL in trying to save the life, even when there is no chance of recovery. (I've seen that in cancer wards with others)

The machines are so good today that often you will have a person all but dead on machines with no chance of recovery who are just in place for when they do pass at a cost of perhaps $100k a month to the family in debt.

The DNR goes into effect when all vitals are crashing, the body is giving up everything there is with really no chance of recovery.
They do NOT try and kill anyone of give up on them unless it has really gotten to that point.
Most consider it dying with dignity if it comes to that point.

My mom had a DNR, and nobody killed her. They tried to the end. She was bad off and if her heart stopped or she stopped breathing, she did not want to make the dying process a number of deaths for her and the family. She also did not want to make fruitless expenses for no reason to the family.

Most people I know would want the DNR because it only means if you are too far gone, don't be outrageous in efforts to save that is going anyway.

I've been there in a big way already twice in my life with loved ones.
Once with my mother who was very young when she died of breast cancer and a dear older friend who was 96 wanting to make it to her 100th birthday who broke an arm, but quickly died of something else.
They both wanted to die with dignity if it came to that.

My prayers and all my love are sincerely with you in the hope of a full recovery, but please don't think people are being evil presenting the DNR to you, it is considered compassionate in letting people die with dignity if they have no real chance should it come to that.

God bless, you and yours are in my prayers tonight and you have all my love in this hard time. I hope they recover.

Please excuse me...if I am telling you things you already know.

A DNR doesn't mean withhold antibiotics. It doesn't mean withhold IV medicine's, food, etc.......( Although I have seen some people think it does..)

A DNR "says" if my heart should stop, or I should stop breathing...do not resuscitate me. And I've had to remind people that "this" patient didn't want "this"..or that "this" patient wants everything done short of intubation. As there are "levels" of code status too.

A tracheotomy can help your husband be weaned off the vent. And it can help in his comfort level. He may be able to speak with it, in place also.

Granted I do not know all the facts here...and with the utmost respect..your husband was more than probably immuno-suppressed..and a "set-up" for an infection. Just because he became symptomatic in the hospital...doesn't mean they "gave" it to him.

I can certainly understand your frustration...fore I have witnessed this type of behavior from doctor's and staff before...you may want to speak with a sympathetic case manager..or a ombudsman type within the hospital.

If I can help you please ask.......

is this the future of healthcare?

Sadly, I believe that it is. I saw this exact situation over ten years ago with my mother. It was almost as if the doctors and nurses were on some kind of death incentive. Aside from all the other good advice about finding a better hospital if possible and nasty attorney, you may also consider using your role as a news reporter now. I can imagine nothing better to win over public support and shame these charlatan doctors than a sincere and well written series of columns about your husband's and your experiences with this flawed medical system. Please keep up the good fight and you and your husband will be in my family's prayers.