Still praying, and hoping for a positive update.
Posted on 05/10/2006 9:57:25 PM PDT by Simplemines
I'm in desperate need of some advice and some help.
My husband was successfully operated on three months ago for pancreatic cancer. He was doing well til three weeks ago when he got dehydrated - a byproduct of the strong chemo regimen he was on.
He went to the hospital, where he was ignored and got worse. Within four days he went from dehydrated to septic shock, a situation the hospital caused by ignoring his symptoms.
He was on respirator, and I had all the Dr. Kevorkian clones running up to me all day to get me to sign a DNR (do not resusciate) order, despite that both my husband and I had decided after Terri's Schiavo's murder that we both wanted EVERYTHING done as long as possible.
Three weeks later, and after much threatening by me of anyone who even looked at him like they were measuring him for a coffin, he's getting better. The sepsis is gone. He's still weak and on a respirator, but two drs. today want to give him a tracheotomy and wean him off the vent.
Meanwhile, the dr. who went on vacation after my husband was admitted showed up. He wanted to talk to me, I thought, about the trach procedure. Instead, he blindsided me with some total BS about how my husband's "quality of life" isn't very good (no chit, Sherlock), and that he thinks my husband would rather just be taken off the respirator and be allowed to DIE.
Where this imbecile came up with this, I've NO idea. I had just seen my husband, who is 90 percent conscious and knows what's going on, and he nodded YES when I asked him if he wanted to live. (He also wrote it, weakly, on a pad.)
Dr. Kevorkian ran away when I told him that I'd put HIM on a respirator if he hurt my husband. He also acted like he "acquiesced" to my husband's and my wishes that he be allowed to recover from the infection this crummy hospital gave him that put him in ICU.
Now I'm scared to death that they're going to LET him die. We're a small family, and we can't be there 24/7 (it's an 80 mile roundtrip, and I am trying to do research because none of these drs. know enough to even learn his name, and they constantly contradict one another.)
I need HELP. I need advice. I need anyone who is northern NJ and wants to prevent a murder to help.
So please, if you know of any pro-life organizations, any anti-euthanasia groups, if you want to visit him and keep his spirits up (and make sure the Kevorkians don't get near him), please let me know. And please post with any suggestions.
God bless all of you. (And say a prayer for me, cause I'm going to pass out!)
// he thinks my husband would rather just be taken off the respirator and be allowed to DIE. //
reading minds -- it's not enough to have things in writing.
Have you made some friends there? Don't be there by yourself -- check the yellow pages for churches, wrack your brain for friends who have friends there, get you some buds, some advocates. RTL ... anything on Sat?
good work. thanks for posting that.
prayer bump.
When I was hospitalized (several times), I kept a notebook at hand and whenever anyone stepped into the room for anything, I made a point of looking at the clock and writing in it. (My former wife, a practitioner, taught me this trick). Everything happened on time and I got extra good care. Hospitals train personnel to look for the likes of me.
In general doctors have a very materialistic view of life that is very incompatible with a spiritual view that simultaneously holds life in the body as temporary and limited in light of the "bigger picture" and precious beyond words in our immediate circumstances.
Those doctors and others who are ensconced in that materialistic view cannot be made to understand your concerns. Some of them may be acting as compassionately as they can from the understanding that they have but their lexicon is not broad enough or deep enough to encompass a view beyond the "medical" view. Hopefully you can find a doc who has a deeper understanding of life to help you both through this. But the materialistic ones will only respond out of self-interest so stay strong and watchful with them. Draw a line with them, as you have done, and stand firmly by it.
I wish I knew of a more specific plan of action to suggest. May wiser minds come to your aid. I hope we hear good news from you soon.
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I'm sure others will be able to help you find a pro-life organization that can help with legal counsel and activists. I'd start with Alliance Defense Fund and Not Dead Yet. NDY specializes in cases related to the handicapped, but they are very much anti-euthanasia and will be able to point you to someone else if they can't help.
That said, lawyer up. Lawyer up big time, right now. Get what you've told us here down in a sworn deposition.
Then, if possible, get him transferred out of that hospital.
My prayers are with you.
Need help in NJ with Dr. Kevorkian clones
Please post your prayers to FReeper "Simplemines". The Culture of Death seems to believe that she and her husband should not have the right to decide about his course of treatment.
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I agree with sc2, don't be afraid to "bully" the hospital administration with the prospect of appearing in the news as patient killers. These people are either trying to kill your husband or have employees who are doing so without their knowledge. Make it a knife fight if you have to.
Sadly, I believe that it is. I saw this exact situation over ten years ago with my mother. It was almost as if the doctors and nurses were on some kind of death incentive. Aside from all the other good advice about finding a better hospital if possible and nasty attorney, you may also consider using your role as a news reporter now. I can imagine nothing better to win over public support and shame these charlatan doctors than a sincere and well written series of columns about your husband's and your experiences with this flawed medical system. Please keep up the good fight and you and your husband will be in my family's prayers.
Simplemines, I'd be sure that everyone does know your and your husband's occupations. Somedays, I think the media are more powerful than the lawyers. (Then I get on FR and remember that we have all the power, here.)
Second, insist on seeing the attending and tell him/her about the haunting. Skip the higher-up residents, they're probably the problem behind the problem, although it could be the attending.Someone's pushing the haunter.
Nevertheless, I would insist on seeing the supervising attending. Especially on Saturday and Sunday, you'll get more respect and action from the attending. Everyone else will step a little more lightly if you are certain and they know that the attending is aware that you are aware.
At the same time that you're asking for the attending, you need to get in touch with your husband's family doctor or internist, or his oncologist - whoever you feel was the "captain of the ship" before this admission.
I would sure like to know why there are plans for a tracheostomy if they plan to wean your husband off the ventilator. Why would he need an artificial airway, then? Also, I'd review with the oncologist what the prognosis after successful pancreatic cancer surgery - It would be rare for that to mean that there's no more cancer.
I'm afraid there are poorly trained doctors and some with a bad ethics base. But, think about doctors you've known in the past and the nurses who keep us straight. Does it really make sense that any of them would act to cause death or fail to act to delay it? That's just not how most of us are motivated.
Finally, CA Guy has a point worth thinking about. "Everything" these days can be pretty extreme, especially in light of pancreatic cancer and the usual progression. When your husband's a little stronger, y'all may want to ask someone about the usual course and whether you want to add dialysis, a feeding tube, and what to do in case of complications that require a transfusion or other blood products
I just saw the dates on this thread and I'm praying that you and your husband have been doing better these last 2 days.
Osage Orange has some good information. (and now I have to go read up on the tracheotomy/ostomy in weaning from a ventilator.)
Without re-reading...I believe I read that this gentleman had been intubated for 3 weeks...I will assume that he was orally intubated.
Generally speaking most hospitals would be leaning towards performing a trach..at about that time, ( or sooner depending on diagnosis..) if conventional weaning has failed. Oral ET tubes can cause skin breakdown..( lips,facial area's..)oral hygiene is harder, Pt's find it harder to swallow...and of course are just plain uncomfortable.
Trach's can facilitate weaning in many pt's by just eliminating the upper airway, thus reducing airway resistance. Many times, that can be the difference. Plus they are much more tolerated, ( less gag reflex..etc.. )and just make "life" easier.
Without getting too wordy...I hope that's helpful.......
FRegards,
Thanks - as I said, I've got some reading to do.
Still praying, and hoping for a positive update.
New Jersey has a pro-life member of the U.S. Congress, a Mr. Smith? Maybe you should put Congressman Smith on notice about what's going on up there. It's good to have someone at the ready in case you need their support. That's what we pay taxes for. Mr. Smith attended the March for Life in January. I can't recall his first name. Toll Free Number to Congress here: www.conservative-spirit.org
Hi, BB. Happy Mom's Day, freepers.
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