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What's Happening to Boys? [WaPo op-ed column]
Washington Post ^ | 3/30/06 | Leonard Sax

Posted on 03/31/2006 4:35:06 AM PST by Timeout

What's Happening to Boys?

The romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," which opened as the No. 1 movie in the nation this month, has substantially exceeded pre-launch predictions, taking in more than $64 million in its first three weeks.
[snip]

...a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He's still living at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with his buddies (two young men who are also still living with their parents) and having sex.
[snip]

...According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women. Why?
[snip]

...We've batted around lots of ideas. Maybe the problem has to do with the way the school curriculum has changed. Maybe it has to do with environmental toxins that affect boys differently than girls (not as crazy an idea as it sounds). Maybe it has to do with changes in the workforce, with fewer blue-collar jobs and more emphasis on the service industry. Maybe it's some combination of all of the above, or other factors we haven't yet identified.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: boys; failuretolaunch; feminism; males; marijuana; masculinity; medicalmarijuana; men; moviereview; wodlist
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To: stacytec

Unfortunately I'm chained to the area for family and my job. I'll humble myself to live with mom until I make more money, find affordable housing or actually find a woman with whom I'm not petrified of the idea of marriage.


161 posted on 03/31/2006 8:32:06 AM PST by rarestia ("One man with a gun can control 100 without one." - Lenin / Molwn Labe!)
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To: Malacoda

I'm homeschooling my children if it works out that way. Never know what God has planned but I can't imagine sending boys to school.


162 posted on 03/31/2006 8:50:07 AM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: Timeout

My 20 year old who still lives at home, in good health with no extenuating circumstances, will be paying rent commensurate with the current housing market, helping with utilities, groceries, and helping with chores, AND, abide by house rules.


163 posted on 03/31/2006 8:53:30 AM PST by AD from SpringBay (We have the government we allow and deserve.)
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To: rarestia

Your area is experiencing high growth. This is a pain-in-the-neck for anybody who does not already own or have a lot of money. That's not going to change.


164 posted on 03/31/2006 8:58:11 AM PST by bondjamesbond (Rice '08)
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To: linda_22003

I don't mind females working, but, if they are going to be mothers, I think they should be at home raising the kids.

Bosses: Hire fathers over single females. Hire parents over singles, all other things being equal. Oops: can't do that because the legislatures have outlawed that. Well, at least I can talk about such ideas on this forum. Raising these issues is one thing I can do. Maybe someday the legislatures will stop handcuffing bosses in this (unconstitutional) way.

The way it is now, everyone is accustomed to not being able to raise a family on one wage, so, the thing to do might be to force wages up by having more mothers stay at home with the kids, and closing the borders so that there is not a cheap source of illegal immigrant labor to drive wages down even further.

I'm not fuming, I am writing in this forum to raise points of view that are mostly shouted down in the workplace, and really everywhere. And I am implementing things that I can implement, when I am able.

But I know a lot of females, young adults to middle age. They are single. They work but hate it. They can not find eligible males to date and marry. They can have kids if they get artificially inseminated or just have a kid outside of marriage. They themselves do not like these options. And the problems all come back to: women are just giving it away today.

Women: Do not give it away. Plain and simple. Then, you will have lots of eligible males who will be interested in marriage.

I know a lot of moms, who work at bad pay rates, at jobs they hate, when they would rather stay at home and be good mothers and raise well-adjusted kids. But they can't stay at home, either because the wages have been driven down by too many females in the workplace and it takes two wage-earners to make a decent home.

But mothers would be doing a greater good, for themselves, their kids, and society-at-large, by staying home with their kids.

Mothers, stay married and stay at home so that you can raise kids.

You probably agree with much of what I have written but, since it is not PC to even mention the things that I say, you seem instead to be shying away from the argument and focusing instead on what you imagine I am thinking or emoting, as if that mattered.

Why can you not just refute some of what I am saying, or for that matter agree with it, whatever you choose, instead of just offering up distraction after distraction in the form of psychobabble?


165 posted on 03/31/2006 9:02:43 AM PST by caddie
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To: AD from SpringBay
AND, abide by house rules.

This is the part I really don't understand -- why would a guy (or a young woman) WANT to be at home at 20 years of age, still abiding by their parents' "rules" -- which doesn't mean to imply you don't live by those rules all your life in some respects.

But, why at age 20 would a young adult not want to LEAVE and go out and experience the world? I couldn't wait to move out, and I came from a very happy childhood.
166 posted on 03/31/2006 9:06:58 AM PST by summer
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To: caddie

I'm answering you, you just don't like my answers. And no, I don't agree with a lot of what you say. I do not think bosses should go back to discriminatory hiring in order to force the kind of social policy you want.

I think couples should decide the best way to raise children, and act accordingly, as individual families. I do agree with you on border enforcement, but notably, our President does not, and he has more of an affect on our policy there than I do.

I'm sorry the women you know are unhappy and having trouble forming families. I married at 31, when I met the right guy, and was in no particular hurry about it; I didn't see marriage as my ultimate aim. I don't know that women will uniformly do a "Lysistrata" to make men marry.

Women who work in low-paying jobs they hate are probably better off staying home, if their pay is erased by daycare and job-related expenses. I've seen many people speak to that on these boards, that with some belt tightening it can be done. There's a difference between job and career, and those of us who enjoy and are fulfilled by what we do are likely to stay in the workforce. Mothers will "stay home" if they find it feasible and fulfilling to do so, not for broad social change.


167 posted on 03/31/2006 9:13:05 AM PST by linda_22003
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To: SamuraiScot

"It's been so long since the personnel world was normal that people forget: Married men are more productive and hard-working than unmarried men or women."

IMO your facts are right but conclusions are dead off.

What the modern personnel world is interested in is: will this employee complain or quit when we tell him to stay late, to come in weekends, to forget about holidays? Mr. "yes sir, anything you want sir, I didn't have any plans tonight besides sitting at home playing XBox" gets the promotion. How much extra expense will the company incur because this employee is not 25 but 35 or 45 or 55, not single but has a wife and kids on the insurance?

The facts that you correctly cite about better motivation and better work product aren't considered. It isn't just anti-male discrimination, it's a FUBAR prioritization of costs and benefits.


168 posted on 03/31/2006 9:14:59 AM PST by No.6 ((www.fourthfightergroup.com))
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To: Timeout

The young men of today are fed a constant message of "men are eeeevil", "all boys are rapists", "girls are better at school" AND on top of all of that they are told girls will recieve ALL the accademic preferences.

Boys that succeed despite all the quota advantages given to other girls are a miracle and a testament to their self motivation.


169 posted on 03/31/2006 9:21:40 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: Timeout
I see this trend as a positive development. As a 22 year old man who worked hard in college and was rewarded with a good job upon graduation that pays well enough for me to live independently, having one third of all males my age living off their parents without any prospects in life means less competition for me. Eventually women will get tired of these boys who are content to be slackers and live off their parents, and that will mean more women for me.

For me, my parents never needed to make threats to me that I would have to be out the door by a certain age. I don't think it ever occured to either me or my parents that living at home indefinitely and never doing anything was even a possibility. It was just always assumed that I would go to college, work hard, and take care of my own business. I think the thing is that kids need to know from when they are very young that they will grow up and they will get to be the grownup with their own job and their own place to live.
170 posted on 03/31/2006 9:50:17 AM PST by NatsFan
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To: bondjamesbond

The article suggested to me all the symptoms of potheads... lethargic, unmotivated, paranoid to go out into the world and to actually live a life...


171 posted on 03/31/2006 5:52:23 PM PST by Sir Francis Dashwood (LET'S ROLL!)
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To: bondjamesbond
From the editorial:
“Maybe it has to do with environmental toxins that affect boys differently than girls (not as crazy an idea as it sounds).”

Girls are much less likely to smoke marijuana? There are a lot of statistics out there that say so...

The Washington Post cannot be trusted. They know the truth... this editorial is just a cover-up job...

172 posted on 03/31/2006 6:09:19 PM PST by Sir Francis Dashwood (LET'S ROLL!)
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To: Timeout

bump for later


173 posted on 03/31/2006 6:10:48 PM PST by palmer (Money problems do not come from a lack of money, but from living an excessive, unrealistic lifestyle)
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To: Timeout

There's nothing happening to boys, there is something that has happened to men that they need to take care of.


174 posted on 03/31/2006 6:12:41 PM PST by Modok
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To: summer
But, why at age 20 would a young adult not want to LEAVE and go out and experience the world?

Marijuana, paranoia...

Marijuana is the perfect chemical warfare to feminize young men...

175 posted on 03/31/2006 6:18:45 PM PST by Sir Francis Dashwood (LET'S ROLL!)
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To: NatsFan
Eventually women will get tired of these boys who are content to be slackers and live off their parents, and that will mean more women for me.

You only need one. Trust me on this one.

176 posted on 03/31/2006 6:23:19 PM PST by Melas (What!? Read or learn something? Why would anyone do that, when they can just go on being stupid)
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To: Timeout

Ok. Got it.


177 posted on 04/01/2006 5:14:26 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Romantics and pessimists are two sides of the same coin. Both will happily lead you over the cliff)
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To: ClaireSolt
I can remember when women didn't work, at all, there was no birth control, and marriage was promoted by shotgun.

Ok I can not let that pass.

Really? Women have been working in Western civilzation for at least the last 2000 years, birth control has been around twice that long and most marriages were not entered into under duress.

178 posted on 04/01/2006 5:23:11 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Romantics and pessimists are two sides of the same coin. Both will happily lead you over the cliff)
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To: magslinger
The employer was looking out for his own interests, which employee is going to work harder to keep the promotion, a single guy who can pick up stakes and move at any time or the man with a wife, two kids and a banker to support?

In my experience, you promote the grownup, regardless of marital status. We are assuming in this case that rather then being a blind hire this is a internal promotion where you know the parties involved.

Applying it to two young men in my own company currently I would go with the single. He is a grownup while, despite the wife and two kids of the other, the married man is still a child in many ways.

In other companies the situation has been reversed but, in the under thirty crowd, marriage is not very useful as a indicator of reliability. Maybe it was different before.

179 posted on 04/01/2006 5:34:15 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Romantics and pessimists are two sides of the same coin. Both will happily lead you over the cliff)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Technically, you are correct, though I suppose your real purpose is to obscure huge social change.


180 posted on 04/01/2006 6:00:56 AM PST by ClaireSolt (.)
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