'Shania Twain' defence works in drunk driver's favour (Note to self)

CBC News ^ | 3/29/06 | Mikey_1962

[Joe 6-pack]

This is what Cledus T. wants...

If Shania was mine
Wouldn't be proud of me
Couldn't hardly blame her
Cuz I'm so derned ugly
But on our first date
We could have a good time
If I got her on the moonshine

If Shania was mine
Say it fit just right
Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight
And there's no way
I'd have a bad hair day
Cuz I'd buy a new toupee'

Oh, I'd love to seduce her
But she married her producer
Now all I do is pray, pray, pray!
She'll get a deevorce someday

If Shania was mine
I'd probably lose my mind
If she only squeezed me, teased me
Pleased me one good time
And if she only knew
All the things I'd do
I'd be the lawn mowin, crop growin
Tater peelin, house cleanin kind
If Shania was mine

Ha huh

If Shania was mine
She'd have to agree
Can't no one cook road kill better than me
Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback
She'd say "Mmm, I like it like that" cha...
Now all I do is wonder
Whose bed have her boots been under
I wish she'd hadda been mine
Now I whine, whine!
That girl is so doggone fine

If Shania was mine
I think I'd go slap blind
Starin' at her yummy little tummy
And her booty shakin' round behind
And if she only knew
All the things I'd do
I'd be the lawn mowin' crop growin'
Tater peelin' house cleanin' kind
If Shania, if Shania, if Shania,
If Shania, if Shania (ACK HACK)

Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yokel

When she shimmies and shakes
It's more than I can take
Oh, what she does to me in them videos
Wife's gonna leave me if I don't explain
What I see in Shania Twain
I'd love to see her in a magazine
Centerfold if you know what I mean
Oh me-a oh my-a
I wish that Shania
Would buy me a house in South Carolina
Two, four, six, eight, nine
Oh I wish that Shania was mine!
he he he huh huh
Want to be a gal of mine...

[HEY4QDEMS]

Shania Twain was helping him drive

Shania helps me do allot of things. :^D

[Toby06]

Yep, with one possible addition:

I like my monthly delivery!

[fanfan]

[HEY4QDEMS]

and I expect we we'll be reading about him again some day.

I think we'll all be OK until James Brown helps him drive or Zsa Zsa!

[fanfan]

About the only damn good thing to ever come out of Canada.

You forgot Anne Murray and Celine Dion.

;-)

[MadeInAmerica]

She has some control over me too, but it's certainly not driving my car.

[fanfan]

He should be detained in hospital.

He suffered brain damage in the first accident.

[fanfan]

LOL.

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

That's what I hope would happen, but I wouldn't bet on it.

[N. Theknow]

A beer truck?

Thinking of Shania Twain calls for a stiff one!

[Patrick1]

There are worse people to be controlled by, Helen Thomas for one.

[joy361]

Not to mention my beloved "Trailer Park Boys".
Anyone from Sunnyvale on here?

[bmwcyle]

Just play, "I can't drive 55" when they pull you over.

[sandbar]

If he is so delusional that he cannot control getting behind the wheel, after killing two people while drunk, he should be locked up for the rest of his life. In a mental institution, wherever, but not allowed to roam free to make other 'mistakes'.

[GMMAC]

I've had a personal addiction with, not only female celebrities - but all sorts of women - controlling my body.

Through years of struggle, I've now managed to isolate this problem mainly to just one or two areas.

There is hope.

[Cyclopean Squid]

His excuse "don't impress me much."

[fanfan]

I'm not betting on it either, but it's what should be done.

The guy was a menace before, he's worse now.

[theFIRMbss]

>not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! What? Gotta go --         Coming, Anna . . .

[fanfan]

There are worse people to be controlled by, Helen Thomas for one.

Now THAT is scary!