Posted on 03/05/2006 10:11:22 AM PST by Sun
When visiting a nursing home, and your loved one falls asleep, or whatever, but you're not ready to go home yet, why not spend a little time with a stranger, or give them a friendly hello, while you're walking down the hallway.
I have learned to understand folks with dementia by visiting a nursing home. One elderly lady has a mantra of "Please help me," and when I used to hear elderly people with a mantra like that, I thought that was all they were capable of saying. So I went over to the elderly lady, and starting talking with her, we had quite a conversation, despite her memory loss. I think her "Please help me" mantra was really, "someone please talk to me."
She told me, with tears in her eyes, that she was so lonely, and no one even says "hi."
A huge AMEN to that one!!!
Alternative: Don't put your loved one in a nursing home to rot.
What a sweet idea!
God bless you for it!
Thank you, and as you know, we'll receive more of an award than we give.
Oh yeah...this I know.
Eye contact, smiling at each & every person you see...they sure do light up, don't they?
You did a good thing starting this thread.
Good thought. I recall a few times when I could have done that. By such acts, we define ourselves.
"Alternative: Don't put your loved one in a nursing home to rot."
Keep them home as long as possible.
My mother kept my dad home, even when he hit her during the night and bruised her because of Alzheimer's, but now he needs medical attention.
We all take turns visiting him, so that he has someone with him for around 16 hours a day (he's only alone overnight). Mom is with him each day from 6:15 a.m. until 2:30 p.m., and then the rest of us, including grandkids take turns.
And thank you.
"Alternative: Don't put your loved one in a nursing home to rot."
Some people don't have the abilities or facilities to take care of a severely impaired person at home.
Some elderly people actually do better in a nursing home when they are surrounded by neighbors and friends they know.
After a severe stroke my mother tried to take care of my grandmother at home. My grandmother didn't really respect my mother and wouldn't listen to her or take her medicine. After much anguish, we decided to put her in a well-chosen home. She respected the nurses and doctors, took her medicine and it so happened that her daughter-in-law worked there and she also had many relatives, friends and neighbors who stayed there.
She lived for 5 more years and she was more sociable and well taken care of than she would ever have been at home.
"Good thought. I recall a few times when I could have done that. By such acts, we define ourselves."
Sometimes people just don't think of it, which is why I started this thread.
Good thread bump!!!
Sorry, I didn't mean to be obnoxious; Sometimes circumstances demand outside care. Your idea is sweet and very meaningful.
This is an issue that's near and dear to my heart, as you probably surmised from my reaction. ;-P
Sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately when my father-in-law was in a home, most of the other residents were screaming, indecipherable maniacs who could not be reasoned with.
I had to put both my parents in a nursing home after six years of looking after them. Folks get to the point where they need 24/7 care and I could no longer help as I have to take care of myself as well.
It was the hardest thing I will ever do. I visited at least once a week every week until they died. It was hard.
But I think the most rewarding thing about the experience was sharing my precious time with some of the old ladies no one ever came to see.
Two very sweet old black ladies always got some of my time much to their delight and which always warmed my heart that this old white man could make them smile and laugh.
I will never forget the tears in my eyes leaving the home one day after hearing one of the ladies vacantly talking about " We got to get out and pick dat cotton".
Damn, it makes me cry just remembering.
I hope I die quickly like my brother did.
Go share some love if you can. The reward is great for you and them.
You are RIGHT on. About ten years ago, I did some freelance "secretarial" work for an elderly semi-retired attorney (he was 98 and STILL went into the office on Fridays!) who lived in a retirement home/nursing home. While he was able to live somewhat independently, my trek up to his apartment twice a week had me pass by the not-so-independent folks who lived there as well. From passing by, I learned their names and would always pop in to say hi to a few of them - their smiles were enough to brighten my heart for days!
You do have a point, though. Some folks are too quick to put their loved ones in a nursing home, but sometimes there is no choice.
You Never know who you'll run into. I met a liutenant who was assigned to the USS Skylark during the Thresher sinking. Great guy. Permanent status at nursing home due to MS. Wife of 30 years divorced him. Probably down the road from you at US-23 and Geddes road. Guy would wheel himself across the street to EMU for classes.
Awwwwwwwww geeeeezzz, that's sad...
Bless you...!!!
"But I think the most rewarding thing about the experience was sharing my precious time with some of the old ladies no one ever came to see.
--snip--
Go share some love if you can. The reward is great for you and them."
You got it!
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