Posted on 02/14/2006 7:44:17 AM PST by Valin
The 10 Commandments
Yesterday night I had a very strange experience. I was on bed and I suddenly saw my PC on fire.
A voice came out of the fire telling me “The Big Pharaoh, I am Allah, I chose you to carry a message to my beloved Muslims. I know they are not happy with how they are looked upon internationally and especially in the Western world. I know they are trying to find ways in order to remedy that and this is why I will give you 10 commandments to post on your blog. I just hope they listen to me”
1.Thou shall not have westophobia. The west is not plotting against Islam, they don’t give a hoot about your religion nor the religion of this old Hindu man walking in downtown Calcutta, India. The West is busy with far more important things.
2.Thou shall remember that millions of Muslims in Europe have far more rights than non-Muslims in Arab/Muslim lands (for more info, contact the Christian villagers of el-Udaysaat) So quit playing the victim here. I simply don’t buy it.
3.Thou shall understand that the West is a pool of ideas and people. In the west you will find: Non-muslims who love Islam (Karen Armstrong and Prince Charles), non-Muslims who hate Islam (J-Posten and Oriana Fallaci), converts to Islam who love Islam (Murad Huffman, Roge Garoudi), converts out of Islam who hate Islam (Hirshi Ali and Ibn Warraq). So for heaven’s sake, you can’t paint the West with one brush.
4.Thou shall understand that the West gets their info on Islam not from your preaching nor from the books you translate to them but from your actions.
5.Thou shall riot and protest when Muslims kill other Muslims (for more info, contact the Shia families of Iraq and Darfur Sudanese)
6.Thou shall try to riot and protest when Muslims kill non-Muslims. If that’s not possible, at least try to do commandment 5.
7.Thou shall NOT riot over cartoons published 4 months ago. Try to riot over cartoons published 2 months ago. At least it might make more sense that way.
8.Thou shall not boycott an entire nation because a single newspaper, TV channel, radio station, politician, actor, actress, etc, etc, in that nation said or wrote or drew something that offended you. Why? Because its stupid and childish to do so and it further hurts your image.
9.Thou shall incorporate the values of liberal democracy. The Catholics of Italy, the Anglicans of England, the Buddhists of Korea, and the Shintos of Japan have done so. I don’t see a reason why you can’t do so as well.
10.Your leaders should know that what was OK in the year 706 might not be OK in the year 2006. I won’t get upset if you changed a few things in the laws and regulations as long as you continue to profess faith in me, pray to me, fast during Ramadan, give alms, and perform Hajj if you’re capable of doing so.
Hmmmm, Are you sure Allah forgot about the hand toilet paper thing? Try to remember...because that's pretty important in the west too. No butt wiping with the hand.
The time-honored term for these people is "dhimmi."
PS..try not to eat what you had last night before going to bed.
The original author is an Egyptian blogger. His grasp of Stuart English is probably better than your grasp of Egyptian Arabic.
That's certainly true. But then, I didn't write a parody in Egyptian Arabic, did I?
Either "You shall" or "Thou shalt," but certainly not "Thou shall," which would be just as goofy as "You shalt."
this minor grammatical error did not seem to confuse the intended meaning of using the old english pronoun Þu with the modern verb form. While technically incorrect I don't see what the foul is - he writes english better than most high school graduates from america the last few years I am sure.
having learned one second language fluently and studied others has taught me that it is pretty much impossible for an ESL speaker to EVER learn all the minor grammatical rules and norms that we take for granted - the same applies with any language, of course. If this isn't ok we might as well ban all ESL speakers from publishing anything in a blog.
It really shouldn't be that complicated! If, as is this author, one is imitating an existing bit of writing for parody, how difficult is it to actually read the original to best duplicate the grammar and style? That is the point of the parody -- to mimic the Ten Commandments -- is it not? It seems an obvious bit of homework to me, regardless of your native language.
Though I speak only (American)English, and have all my life, I would still open up the Bible for reference were I to write a parody of some part of it.
It was a minor little thing, to be sure, and I never intended for my critique to imply that this author should hang it up and go back to Egypt. It was only a suggestion that he should have taken a look at the original work he was trying to imitate. (...though that act alone may merit harsh consequences in Egypt, for all I know.)
point taken. i do wonder, depending on his background in english, if he would have seen the shalt form (if he is using thou he surely has seen some of the archaic verb forms with it) and wondered what it was, what tense, or if it was a typo/error.
But those Commandments out of the Burning PC require thought and intelligence. Isn’t that a bit difficult for the typical 7th Century Muslim?
I can see 'allah' saying this, but certainly not God.
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