Posted on 02/03/2006 7:57:02 AM PST by rarestia
Tuesday night at the Boston Market on East Bay Drive in Clearwater: Guys behind the counter are slinging Chuck Norris jokes.
"You know what kind of furniture Chuck Norris has in his house?" says Matt Kindred, 18.
"Bowflex."
Matt tells another: "Chuck Norris never blinks his eyes. Never."
Behind him, manager Richard Moody, 22, echoes: "Never!"
Matt executes a pirouette and whips a finger at countermate Evan Heebner, 19. Evan tells the one about how Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. "Too bad Chuck Norris never cries," Evan says.
"Ooooh, good one," everyone says.
* * *
Teenagers all across the country, many of whom have never even seen Walker, Texas Ranger, are telling Chuck Norris jokes.
They're really bad. If you want to blame someone, the guilty party is a Brown University freshman. Since last summer, Ian Spector has been spreading jokes like: "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."
Ian has collected 40,000 jokes like that. Every day he gets more than a half-million hits on his Web site, The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator (www.4Q.cc/chuck/) His jokes have been picked up by Saturday Night Live.
(Excerpt) Read more at sptimes.com ...
Little surprise that he's being panned by pop culture now. He's a conservative Christian whose main political involvement is an initiative that the Bible be offered as a course in public schools. He also cites the removal of public prayer from schools as a huge turning point in our society.
Um, not really much of a problem. I respect Chuck Norris (and love these jokes) . . . but his film efforts have been . . . well, lacking at best.
Message to Mr. Norris: If you are reading this, please know that I fully understand that you are the best actor in the world. I know it had to have been bad directing and/or writing that caused your movies and shows to be lacking. Please don't roundhouse kick me!
Now that was funny!
ROTFLMAO... Thanks!
Chuck Norris was in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) with Cayden Boyd
Cayden Boyd was in Mystic River (2003) with Kevin Bacon
Some of them are a bit graphic and off-color, so don't go there if you're easily offende.
LOL. Ok, not completely over. But close?
Chuck Norris has only two degrees of separation from any man who has ever had sex with a woman.
I think you should take out the word "panned" and replace it with "revered". Guys in the 18-30 age range are attempting to regain their masculinity. What better role model for that than Chuck Norris. He's a good decent man . . . who will kick the living s**t out of anyone who isn't!!
Or another
"Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f!!king Indian."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I darn near spit my coffee out!
LOL!
I play the online game World of Warcraft. And lately I've been seeing all this Chuck Norris stuff filling up the general chat channels in alot of the major cities all the time. Seems kinda pointless to me, but it's a fad I guess.
Indidently, did you know that when Chuck Norris does pushups he is actually pushing the Earth down? I didn't realize that before...
Bill Brasky came along first.
place marker
Yeah Bones, I first heard the Chuck Norris stuff in WoW. I think we were raiding UBRS, we downed the Beast and someone upped with, "PWNED! Like Chuck Norris on a blind man!"
Now that I understand it, there's much more hilarity to the comment.
Has anyone seen Conan O'Brian playing random Walker Texas Ranger clips on his show? Pretty funny stuff!
"Little surprise that he's being panned by pop culture now. He's a conservative Christian whose main political involvement is an initiative that the Bible be offered as a course in public schools. He also cites the removal of public prayer from schools as a huge turning point in our society."
He's not really being panned right now. In fact.. I would watch for a fatal roundhouse any time now just for saying that. By the time you see Chuck coming, though, it'll be too late.. :P
That's funny stuff! Ever used shad sides for cat-bait? I put it on the treblehook while wearing rubber gloves & holding my breath. But channels love it.
Having said that:
1.) Anything that comes out of Brown University is suspect; and,
2.) Chuck Norris can sharpen a lawn mover blade
while the mower is running.
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