Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne
It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong
Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.
Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.
Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.
In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.
(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...
Oh man! Sorry to forget you hun!
And don't forget, you're going to die lonely and alone because you didn't have children. Your last years on earth will be a miserble hell ;)
Oh, good. Something to look forward to. :) If you're putting a list together, add me.
I got divorced in 1988.....and had felt that way before that, during that, and still do to this day.
I know very well that my position on getting divorced is tainted by my position in regard to the marriage, as was his. The truth of it it sort of in the middle. He was physically and verbally abusive, he denied both, but I had witnesses to both. OTOH, I gave as good as I got, he just didn't have witnesses.
Oh yeah! I forgot that one (which applies to me ;) )
Plus, the idea wife doesn't speak English, has the IQ of a sugar beet, the personality of a Cocker Spaniel and the suction power of a Hoover.
Man bashing ... never happens on FR. Check. Gotcha.
I'm outta here.
"Hun,
If you're a stay at home mom, you're called lazy and a pet for not working.
If you're a working mom you're a bad mother and abandoning your kids.
If you're a single woman, you're called picky snob and a feminazi.
If you're a single mother, well, you're just nuthin' but an ole ho/skank/slut.
Did I leave anyone out?"
hee hee!!
Thank you for clearing that up.
I am a lazy pet.
Why is it my husband goes crazy within a matter of hours when he is alone with the kids?
Yeah,
but we don't do it for 1000 post threads.... ;)
Just a few playful jabs....self defense ya know :)
"Respecting the value of being a homemaker is one thing; expecting to enjoy guaranteed lifetime privileges as a pet is another thing entirely.
Learning useful lifetime skills is a highly recommended idea regardless of one's attitude concerning women's role in home-making."
I agree. I feel my wife would be a much happier person learning a trade and contributing to society. If the whole marriage is based on me, the husband all the time then it is trouble when I act human - imperfect. Plus you never know what this world will bring, so not having these skills in world that now offers them to women is not shrewd.
I can bash women that deserve bashing.
We have a friend that my husband and I used to work with, hubby and I can't stand his wife.
They don't want to have kids (fine). She doesn't work or volunteer. All she does is shop, get her hair or nails done, etc.
On top of doing nothing productive, our friend does photograpy as a hobby. She found of picture of him with another woman, and cut up the picture. Then she ended up going through all of his pictures and cutting up pictures of women. The first picture was of our friend with one of his cousins.
The woman is a lazy, psycho, witch. She gives women a bad name. I think he should divorce her. He's a nice guy.
If Xena's Guy would let me, I would SO stay home and clean the house and cook.
If I weren't contributing to the household financially, you'd better believe I'd clean like no one's business and have a hot meal on the table every night.
Oh my gosh - I saw a woman about 50 with an old, old hunched over man come into the resturant. I thought it was his daughter taking her old dad to dinner and marveled at her patience as it took him forever to shuffle to the table next to us with his walker. Easedropping...I realized it was his wife; not his daughter. I said to myself, she must be a trophy sitting with her booby prize. LOL
I have a friend whose husband just left her. He met someone on a porn website. He'd never even physically met this woman when he left his wife for her. I haven't found out if he's actually met her now. I'm hoping she's fat and diseased. His ex-wife is tall, thin, and very pretty. The sad thing is that they had just spent 2 years remodeling their home to turn it into their "dream house", and now they may have to sell it.
I've seen it both ways....Some folks are so afraid to be alone that they marry someone...just to have SOMEONE. Both genders do it.
Before I die,
I would like to experience what it would be like to be a 'Stayathome' anything.
I bet my housekeeping would improve ;)
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