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America's model housewife turns feminist as husband abandons her
Guardian Unlimited ^ | January 8, 2006 | Paul Harris

Posted on 01/08/2006 2:24:03 PM PST by Lorianne

It is 25 years since Terry Hekker hailed the housewife, now in a landmark decision the acclaimed author has rejected her past saying she was wrong

Terry Hekker wrote a book in 1980 that made her famous. Ever Since Adam & Eve was a passionate defence of her decision to eschew a career and spend her life as a wife and a mother.

Coming at the end of the Seventies, when feminism was enjoying a renaissance and the career woman was emerging from behind the cooker, Hekker became a celebrated poster child for more old-fashioned values. She wanted her job choice of 'homemaker' to be considered as valid as those of up-and-coming women bankers, bosses and company directors.

Today, Hekker told The Observer, she is planning a follow-up book. Its working, albeit jokey, title is bluntly honest: Disregard First Book. For her life did not turn out as she planned, and she now believes her decision to become a housewife and homemaker should serve as a warning for young American women. 'My anachronistic book was written while I was in a successful marriage that I expected would go on forever. Sadly, it now has little relevance for modern women, except perhaps as a cautionary tale,' Hekker wrote last week as she announced her U-turn.

In a display of spectacular bad taste, Hekker's husband presented her with divorce papers on their 40th wedding anniversary and left her for a younger woman. The divorce left her facing an uncertain financial future, bereft of income and - after spending her adult life bringing up five children - lacking skills to make her attractive in the job market. Despite that, the judge in her divorce case suggested that - at 67 - she go for job training.

(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: allherfault; bitterboys; feminism; girlhaters; manthevictim; marriage; men; neanderthals; wimmenrevil; women
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To: cubreporter

The easiest thing to write a book about is something you know well. If it happens to be marketable, all the better. It's either that or sell real estate or...

It's important that you don't treat an author spouse poorly. Bernstein (Watergate fame) found that out when he cheated on Nora Ephron. She wrote a book about his escapades and made millions.


161 posted on 01/08/2006 8:18:22 PM PST by ladyjane
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Comment #162 Removed by Moderator

To: Rytwyng; All
"Actually, women are no more likely to cite adultery in divorce proceedings than men are. The excess of female-initiated divorces appears to largely be the result of generalized "unhappiness" whose source cannot be identified (hint: that's just the way life is, deal with it).

The hapless innocent husband is frequently blamed for "not making her happy" and she naively beleives that she can do better... which is usually NOT the case, as she is no longer the hot 21 year old surrounded with admirers that she remembers herself to have been back in her single days."

GIVE THAT MAN THE BLUE RIBBON!

163 posted on 01/08/2006 8:39:28 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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To: GermanBusiness
Dude - lighten up; you're getting your brain wrapped around the axle thinking about this.

Just say **** women and be done with 'em!!! (American ones anyway)...

164 posted on 01/08/2006 8:40:44 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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To: Motherbear
"After a certain age, the husband dumping the wife for a newer model is quite popular in my area."

I just don't get it. One of the best things about being over 40 is that I am no longer driven hormonally and chasing skirts is about 100001st on the list about now. I've gotten back into art, I have family and friends, a job I like reasonably well and my kids.

WTF would I EVER want to screw my life up again by becoming involved (much less again marrying) a woman?

I feel nothing but pity for the 40+ men who (undoubtedly due to mental reasons, because the hormones should have toned down), continue acting as if they were 20 again...idiots....

165 posted on 01/08/2006 8:48:22 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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To: Motherbear
I surfed your home page. Saw the part about "being married to my best friend".

Now are you gonna buy me a new laptop (since I just puked all over the old one?)

Yeah, I thought that way once too. Then I got this pick axe in my back *OUCH* hurts like a b**** when I sit down...

166 posted on 01/08/2006 8:51:10 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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To: Motherbear
Oh. One more thing. That pick axe was put there by another woman who was a (professing) "conservative Christian".

Words suck.

Actions rule.

167 posted on 01/08/2006 8:52:22 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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To: Nea Wood

Excellent comments. Said it better than I could have


168 posted on 01/08/2006 9:00:51 PM PST by billbears (Deo Vindice)
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To: Restorer
"The popular stereotype of the husband dumping the wife for the hot new trophy bride is not usually the reality."

quit spewing such nonsense....it matters little who "starts" the paperwork ......what matters is who is forcing the issue......

its typical of some freepers to find fault with a conservative, husband loving, homemaker who gets dumped after raising the 5 kids and making a home.....all the things some freepers think make someone a saint....

well, all those values didn't do this woman a bit of good, now did they?.....

169 posted on 01/08/2006 9:09:51 PM PST by cherry
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To: born in the Bronx

The dark, woman hating side of conservative ideology is raising it's ugly head here. Conservatives are all for women raising kids and even homeschooling kids. But they also love it when the man kicks the pet (who used to be the mother and wife) to the curb for the whore down the street. It tells you something...


170 posted on 01/08/2006 9:18:55 PM PST by Galveston Grl (Getting angry and abandoning power to the Democrats is not a choice.)
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To: martin_fierro

Is that supposed to be Arianna Huffington?


171 posted on 01/08/2006 9:20:36 PM PST by Schwaeky (Islam is a religion of Peace just like Nazism is an Ideology of tolerance.)
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Comment #172 Removed by Moderator

To: Nea Wood
Did this woman deserve it somehow? Not one word of condemnation for the husband, but *she's* evil!

bravo! everytime the subject of divorce comes up here, the woman is made out to be the witch who deserves it or caused it... must be some really bitter Freepers... i'm disgusted not only with the husband but with the new woman and others like her who have no problem taking part in ending a marriage... and who will do, say and believe anything to justify it...

173 posted on 01/08/2006 9:47:21 PM PST by latina4dubya
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To: Motherbear; All
I think that most of the people who post on these topics are:

a. Men wounded by divorce and

b. Women wounded by divorce.

Hence the diametrically opposed emoting.

174 posted on 01/08/2006 9:50:13 PM PST by Al Simmons ('A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user' - Theodore Roosevelt)
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Comment #175 Removed by Moderator

To: flashbunny
Having lost my mother at a very early age, I always thought it a good idea for women to be prepared to have some way to earn a living in case their husbands die prematurely.

And considering today's reality with a high divorce rate and the fact that many women may never marry, it is also a good idea.

176 posted on 01/08/2006 10:11:08 PM PST by TAdams8591 (The first amendment does NOT protect vulgar and obscene speech.)
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To: Nea Wood
"This woman is 67 years old, her husband dumped her for a younger woman, and she has no recent jobs skills! That could happen to any stay-at-home wife. How many Freepers would want that to happen to themselves, to their daughters, sisters, mothers? Is it okay that her husband did that to her? What if your son-in-law did that to your daughter? Would it be okay? Did this woman deserve it somehow? Not one word of condemnation for the husband, but *she's* evil! If she'd had a career throughout her marriage, she'd be financially okay now, but then Freepers would condemn her as a Feminazi. Since she *didn't* have a career, that means she must have wanted to be kept as a "pet" her whole life!

So what the h### are women supposed to do? Obviously stay-at-home wives have a lot of nerve if they expect to be supported all their lives, according to Freepers. But on the other hand, if they have careers, they are evil Feminazis who are neglecting their children!"

You NAILED it. The attitudes toward women on this forum, and the contradictory expectations are a disgrace. I say this as someone who is and always has been very traditional.

177 posted on 01/08/2006 10:21:40 PM PST by TAdams8591 (The first amendment does NOT protect vulgar and obscene speech.)
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To: TAdams8591

178 posted on 01/08/2006 10:24:11 PM PST by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: Lorianne

You really triggered a few slugfests with this one. But seriously, isn't your use of "Neanderthals" as a keyword just a little over the top?


179 posted on 01/08/2006 10:25:36 PM PST by StarfireIV (Cleverness is no substitue for true intelligence)
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To: ladyjane

180 posted on 01/08/2006 10:26:08 PM PST by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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